Me and my daughter's father are trying to get a long with each other for the sake of our daughter, however my mother keeps being negative, and it is affecting our daughter. My mother is very protective of her 1st born granddaughter, however her negativity is not welcome, and i don't want to keep her from her Grandmother, however it makes it hard when my mother is always talking down about my daughter's father, and have asked her to stop. She is not supportive of me trying to have my daughter see her father, she wants me to keep him out of her life as much as possible, and that is not good for my daughter, nor is her negativity either. How do i ask her to stop, and if she continues, what should i do?
2007-05-14 14:57:52 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Explain to your mother how this is affecting your daughter. If she really loves her she should do what's best for her. Ask her to keep her negative comments to herself whenever your daughter is near...even in another room. If she doesn't stop let her know that you need to protect your daughter from any hurtful things even if it is her grandmother, just as she herself would have protected you. I applaud you for what you are trying to do for your daughter, stick to your guns.
2007-05-14 15:21:38 · answer #1 · answered by Mickey M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that while she believes she's trying to protect her granddaughter, she's actually hurting the child. By filling her head with negativity, she's causing confusion for the little girl and she's breeding hatred and contempt. Let her know that you love her and that you want her to be able to spend time with her granddaughter but if she cannot respect your wishes and the child's relationship with her father, that she'll leave you with no choice but to cut her off from seeing the child.
Having said that, please take a good objective look at the relationship your daughter has with her father and at your mother's objections to this man. Is there a good reason for her concern? Would it be detrimental for your daughter to spend time with her father?
If you're convinced that your daughter spending time with her father is in her best interest, if he is stable enough to love her no matter what and there is no concern about your daughter being exposed to anything negative by the father, then by all means encourage the relationship.
It's important for kids to know their parents. But please be very open to seeing him for exactly who he is. You wouldn't want to have to admit to your mother later on down the line that she was right after all. The bottom line is make sure your daughter is not in any danger.
2007-05-14 15:20:57 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why can we ought to be sorry for a clean lifestyles? She'll have a not uncomplicated lifestyles simply by fact of what? it is the place you, as a mom is obtainable in. particular, that is not uncomplicated for her, yet that would not advise that she'll have a not uncomplicated lifestyles perpetually. What you're able to do as a mom is to steer her to motherhood. do not you experience satisfied that she took duty of her movements? She ought to've desperate that she needed to abort the toddler and forget the previous, in spite of the undeniable fact that it style of feels like the lifestyles of that toddler capacity greater suitable than something to her. proceed to assist her, you have to be the single that could understand her thoroughly at this 2d. that is incredible to think of which you're mom is merely around with the aid of the time which you're feeling ugliest, fattest, ineffective, and unloved. i'm satisfied to your toddler that she is conscious what she needs in her lifestyles. help her, you will never remorseful approximately it and it won't make you much less of a guy or woman. solid success, i'm hoping each thing is going nicely while she supplies the toddler.
2016-11-23 13:00:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that when small children hear someone they love speaking badly about someone else they love it is very confusing and hurtful to the child. Children often feel as if they should choose a side and always feel very guilty and bad about themselves for not defending the person being spoken of.
Tell your mother that you know she does not want to hurt your child like this. Make sure your daughter's father clearly understands that the same rule applies to him-even though he may not like her very much, he is absolutely not allowed to speak badly about your mother anywhere your daughter might overhear him. Let your mother know that because you want to raise a happy, healthy child you will not permit your daughter to be exposed to situations that will make her feel guilty and bad about herself. Tell your mother that if she has her granddaughter's best intrests at heart then she will not speak badly about the child's father in her presence or anywhere where her granddauther might hear her. Let her know that you are this child's parent and this is what you think is the best thing to do and she will follow your rules or her time in your home and/or with your daughter will be limited.
Explain to your mother that you would like for her to have a close, nurturing relationship with your daughter and that is something that she can have if she is able to hold her tongue and act in the best intrests of her granddaughter.
It is exhausting to have to spend time in the company of a person who does not respect your home or your authority as a parent and that exhaustion factor is the only thing that would force you to limit your mother's time with your daughter-if you don't take care of yourself you cannot take care of anyone else. Part of taking care of yourself is limiting your exposure to exhausting, negative, and controlling people. (You don't want to wind up like them do you?!? )
2007-05-14 15:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by blytle68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to be firmer with her. Let her know that YOU are the mother not her and that you decide what type of behavior is acceptable around your daughter. If she doesn't stop you will have to have your daughter stop seeing her.
Of course she loves her g/daughter but she does have to learn that she cannot take over and that you are still the mother. Acting as she is shows a lack of respect for you.
2007-05-14 15:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just sit down with her and explain that though you are certain of her concerns that he is the child's father and has every right to see her no matter what anyone else thinks. Grandma may not like it but the child is yours and his. You two have to deal with raising her. Grandma can learn to keep her ideas to herself or rethink how she says things. Frankly, if my mom did that to me I would just say 'hey wait a minute!" and go from there....
2007-05-14 15:14:32 · answer #6 · answered by taljalea 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No explaining to her is necessary. My whole family can be that way, lol DeeLee is absolutely right, You have been telling her negative things and it's why she feels that way. Just enjoy the time you spend with your mom and find someone else to talk to about him. She'll get over it eventually, just find other things to talk about with her.
2007-05-14 16:18:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lesson number one, keep your busininess to yourself. Your mom loves you and she loves her grand kids. You have been telling your mom negative things about this man. Now you want to forgive him, but your mom is not ready to forgive him. That is how the story goes.
Now that you are in the situation, and if you seriously want to give this man a second chance (I doubt he desreves one. I think your mom is seeing something yo do not see); but any way. You will have to have a heart to heart with your mom. Be gentle with mom, she loves you, she want s the best for you - that is alll. But you are going to have to expalin that this is what you want and you need her to back off a little.
Hope it works.
2007-05-14 15:16:21 · answer #8 · answered by 2Cute2B4Got 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋