I am not one to go to these "girly-type" things because I have almost no interest in watching someone open lingerie and crock pots while everyone else "ooh"s and "ahh"s (and neither do my 3 children that I would have to bring with me), but my husband's male cousin is getting married next month (my husband is in the wedding) and I recently received an invitation to the bridal shower. The cousin was one of my husband's best friends until about 5yrs ago (nothing terrible happened, they both just grew up got full time jobs and became responsible). I have only been in the same room with the bride-to-be 3 times and only spoken to her enough to say, "Hi".
I really don't want to go (even though I know I will get flac from the aunt about it) but should I anyway?
2007-05-14 13:24:02 · 20 answers · asked by ravens_angel78 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
DH can not babysit because he works double shifts on Saturdays and anyone else that normally babysits for me will be at the shower (all my family lives out of state).
2007-05-14 13:34:18 · update #1
I would purchase her a simple nice gift since your husband is in the bridal party but instead of going, have it delivered to her on the day of the shower or before it with a nice congratulatory note. If anyone asks why you did not attend, tell them that you did not want to ruin her shower by taking the children when you knew that you could not find a sitter for them.
2007-05-14 13:40:44 · answer #1 · answered by una_jet 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason to go if you will feel uncomfortable or out-of-place; and you certainly are not obligated to go. Bridal showers are supposed to be "small, intimate gatherings of the Bride and/or Groom's family members and close friends" and if you do not feel that you belong in this group then there is no reason to attend. If you are asked to RSVP then just say, "I have other plans for that day, and will not be able to attend." Also, do not feel obligated to send a gift to the shower even though you are not going to attend the shower. Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-05-15 00:34:53 · answer #2 · answered by Avis B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm you don't like showers... you obviously don't want to pay for a sitter to attend an event you don't want to go to...you CAN'T take 3 kids to a shower...you really won't get a chance to know the bride at a shower because she'll be busy.. but you don't want to upset the aunt and cause family grief.
How about piling the kids into the car, drive to the shower and run in and drop off the gift, and say that you're sorry that you can't stay because (make up most plausible excuse... kid is getting sick and you don't want the bride to catch it... kid has to go to a swim meet.. whatever) then go do whatever you want :)
Everyone is happy.. you put in an appearance but didn't have to suffer through the shower... and you can take the kids to McDonald's or whatever and avoid cooking supper :)
2007-05-14 21:10:46 · answer #3 · answered by endorable 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In-laws are always a tricky bunch. Buy a simple gift, show your face for the MOST an hour by catching up with people or simply "make nice". Once they start doing the "opening the presents" amd game thing....take off. I am not one for the "oooh'ing" and "aahh'ing" either, so usually i hide out in the kitchen doing dishes and helping prepare & serve the food. I am sure your husband would appreciate all the afforts you are making towards his family. If you go grumpy & wishing to be elsewhere...they will sense it and that's 10's much worst then not showing up. Do the best you can and good luck.
2007-05-14 13:54:00 · answer #4 · answered by simply_the_lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I hate bridal showers. They are boring and I can't stand the games.
Send a gift with a nice note saying that you apologize for not being able to attend. You don't feel like it is a place for kids and they would take time away from the bride. If the kids have a friend party that is even a better excuse.
Good Luck.
2007-05-14 15:08:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to the bride that your children would have to come with you for the reasons you gave us. Chances are, she probably won't want them at the shower, since there's not usually any kid friendly stuff to do, and depending on how old they are they could get very distracting. Send a nice gift, but don't drag your children to the shower. Even if you were into these kinds of events, having to supervise three children wouldn't allow you to enjoy it anyway.
2007-05-14 15:25:30 · answer #6 · answered by n2mama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since this is family you are obligated to go to keep the extended family circuits functioning properly. I would have the dh babysit though, the kids are not usually included in these things.
These are the kinds of little things that people stress about for years after the fact, it is not worth stirring the pot over.
2007-05-14 13:30:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know where your coming from I'm not a girlie girl either. but when it comes to something that may only happen once i think you should go generally these things only last a few hours if that and you can just say after everything is over that you really need to go.. i think you should go even if you have only ever said hi to her. she thought of you when doing the invites so there must be something there. remember she will be part of the family and you dont want to start it off with a bad note. if you know its going to cause problems with your aunt i think you should go its only a few hours
good luck :)
2007-05-14 15:07:29 · answer #8 · answered by mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make an appearance for about 45mins. to an hour. let the host know when you first get there that you are sorry you couldn't stay longer but you had a prior engagement with someone on your side of the family. they can't get mad over that but will appreciate the fact you made the effort to be at this bridal shower. know one really pays attention when everyone comes and goes anyway for something like that.
2007-05-14 13:34:20 · answer #9 · answered by reddog777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your husband keep the kids and make an appearance, after all it is family. If you decide not to go, send a gift with an apology stating you had other obligations the same time.
2007-05-14 13:33:09 · answer #10 · answered by Virginia C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋