I travel with a groups of friends about every summer (who I also went to college with). Two of them are getting married, one sent me an invite to their wedding and the other didn't. One of the couples got engaged during our vacation, so I bought them a gift on vacation and had planned on giving it to them at their wedding, but I didnt get an invite. The other couple who is getting married I did get an invite to, but I can't go due to a prior obligation. Usually I would have no qualms about getting them a gift, but they owe me $200 from last years vacation still. Do I get this second couple a gift?
2007-05-14 13:19:39 · 8 answers · asked by rjamcfan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Give the gift you already bought to the couple it's intended for.
Buy a small gift for the other couple. You're not obligated to buy anyone anything but you described both of these people as "friends" so I do think you should pop for at least a small gift.
Even a candle set would be fine--it's the thought that matters. People do remember who blew them off and who did not on the biggest occasion of their lives. Just as you will remember that the one couple invited you and the other didn't. Just be bigger than that. The couple who didn't invite you will be touched by your thoughtfulness.
2007-05-14 13:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by Lively 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q1: Since they did not do a registry, I would simply give them either cash or a gift card to a store you know they'll like. When couples fail to do a registry, that usually means all they want is CASH. Personally I think it's really tacky to NOT do a registry because you might as well scream "give us cash...we don't want any of the sh*t you'll get us." Rude, rude, rude. Q2: Your husband is being overly considerate in his evaluation. For one, there's almost no way a normal wedding guest can approximate how much the couple spent per person on the reception! I mean, how would you know that unless the couple go around advertising "hey, we spent $10,000 on the reception alone" and even then, you'd have to know how many people are going to attend. You can't know that until you actually get to the wedding. You are correct. The gift should be a reflection of what you can afford and a nice thought. A nice couple won't be sitting there thinking "hmph....they only spent this much on me when I spent this much on them for the reception." That's now how anyone thinks nor should it be. When the couple planned the wedding, they knew it would cost X amount so it's not up to the guest to "cover" the cost of attending! A gift is simply a lovely way to say "we love you and we wish you well." Anything else and the couple might as well sell tickets!!!
2016-05-18 02:27:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough call. I'm sure you've heard the saying "its a cost of doing business" the same applies in friendship sometimes there is a "cost of being friends". Send them a gift with your deepest regrets for being unable to attend their wedding. Chances are they simply forgot about the $200 or they could be short on cash right now as weddings are expensive!
During the next summer vacation they will probably remember the debt, if not remind them in passing maybe even make a joke about it (just don't do it in front of others).
Worst case your out $200 and you've learned a lesson.
2007-05-14 13:35:10 · answer #3 · answered by Lee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Debt aside, I think that if they are your friends then you should consider how much they mean to you.
Maybe the couple who didn't send you an invitation is only having family attend the wedding, or maybe they have yet to send out all the invitations, or maybe your's just got lost in the mail.
No one is ever obligated to get someone else a gift. You do so just to show that you are thinking of them and care to buy them something.
2007-05-14 13:29:08 · answer #4 · answered by ravens_angel78 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not obligated to give a gift to someone who owes you money BUT you can give them the gift of "wiping the slate clean." Buy a nice wedding card and just write on the card, "You no longer owe me $200, this is my wedding gift to you." Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-05-15 00:46:51 · answer #5 · answered by Avis B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you give the second couple the first couples gift? Or is it specifically a gift for the first couple who didnt invite you. Re gifting is fine and it sounds like you have an extra gift so why not?
2007-05-14 13:25:15 · answer #6 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like Avis's answer.
I would not give a gift to the couple that still owes you money, whether you can go or not.
The other couple, I would get a gift for if I could.
2007-05-15 02:13:42 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
?
2007-05-14 13:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋