I am having to go to court for the 2nd time for assult and battery, I never touched him. He self mutilates himself before the police get there. He was a sheriff-deputy for 10 yrs, and probation/parole officer for 27yrs. He knows the system. My lawyer said as long as we both refused to talk, they can't charge either of us, and I am a nurse and I do not need this crap. I have never been in any trouble. We are separated.
2007-05-14 12:25:43 · 44 answers · asked by themantofield 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
Has anyone heard of this happening, Is my lawyer right? He told me to refuse to answer, and my husband is refusing to talk, and it would be dropped, but that one of us would have to pay court costs.
2007-05-14 12:35:41 · update #1
The first time he hit me, he hit me so hard, I feel on the concrete floor of the garage, and I thought it would show up right then, I went to the ER, and when I came home, it showed and the officer told me he was sorry, he couldn't see marks at first, but the left side of my face was swollen. Then the second time, I was at home, lying in the bed, with a blanket pulled up over my left ear (I had a ear infection, and had come home early from work), and he came in the bedroom, and started grabing me by the neck, telling me he had filled for divorce. I was half way asleep, trying to understand what was happening, then he picks up my cell phone and dials 911. When the police got there, he had a little red mark on both sides of his neck. I did not even touch him. I am trying to forget this mess, I am getting couseling, and trying to move forward with my life, Then my general mgr at work decides to demote me because of all this. I now pray and talk to my couselor to keep my mind.
2007-05-15 05:35:09 · update #2
update- my attorney called me, and said that the commonwealth attorney said he would drop it on me, but I had to testify against my husband. My husband said while we were together that he had two things in life that he valued most: his good name, and his credit. My attorney told me that a restraining order is just a piece of paper, and to remember that. This man would kill me. So then, my attorney told me that he talked with my husband's attorney, and his attorney said that he tried to get my husband to file for divorce, wait until Jan. when it has been ayear, and the Commonwealth attorney said he would drop the charges all together. My husband said he did not have the money for a divorce, and he wanted this in court soon. His attorney told him: well, take what you get then. What do you all think?
2007-05-17 11:53:05 · update #3
You need to run away from this relationship as fast as possible and leave your lawyer to do the communicating with him.
2007-05-14 12:27:49 · answer #1 · answered by skip 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From what I understand, police usually arrest the aggressor in a domestic situation. For example, if you have a bloody nose and a busted lip and he has a slap mark on the cheek, chances are he is going to jail if not both of you. Most of the time, the winner of the fight goes. Get a second opinion on that lawyer. That doesn't sound right to me.
If what you're saying is true then you should arrange for a divorce and a restraining order. Do not go near him without a witness. And don't worry about him "knowing the system". Regardless of what you may see on TV, there's more to the system than he might be aware of and guys like him get busted every day. Good luck.
2007-05-14 12:40:01 · answer #2 · answered by BrutalBaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce. Plain and simple. Stay away from eachother.
Why are you putting up with his bullcrap and going to jail because of him? You said it's the second time you're going to court 'because of him' - Do you hear yourself? Seriously - stay away from him. Don't refuse to talk - that just puts the complete separation off longer, and I assume you don't want to go to jail again. Let your lawyer mediate the situation. Drop your man like a rock - that's pathetic that he'd do that to you.
If your lawyer suggests you both refrain from having any contact, go for it. I do know that if you've gotten charged with something your first time you can have the charges dropped after a certain period of months if you are able to keep it clean and not have any fights with him. The fines won't be too expensive. Hopefully you'll get through it - that's a tough situation to be in.
2007-05-14 12:27:33 · answer #3 · answered by ☆Bombastic☆ 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My god 2x! thats too many and he lies about it thats too much you should conisder some of the following options
1. Somehow get proof showing or saying he did it brusies marks etc.
2. Get a restraining order
3. Consider counseling
4. Leave him or talk about it, if he doesnt want to talk about it then tell him your leaving because you two are married and you do need that the next time it could be worse!
5.Learn Self Defense classes i take it he over powers you and no one will stand up for you so you need to stand up for you!
This may not be easy but u need to stay safe!
Well thats my advice for you I hope you arent seriously hurt by him.....please stay safe!
2007-05-14 12:46:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce
2007-05-14 12:28:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. thats something serious what kind of man would hit a girl i no a situation like yours but very much more dangerous. First you need to know that if you leave him will he hurt you or your family? You need to know if hes dangerous or not! Then when you find what you need do what you think is a good choice. From my point of view i think you should leave him..you deserve so much better. You dont deserve to be with a man so cold hearted. So take this advice and do what you think is best !
2007-05-15 02:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by shanell n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a restraining order against him, and when he shows up at your house call the cops and lock yourself inside. Obviously he has the benifit of the "brotherhood", but some people will see through his BS. Set up a video camera, and when he shows up at your house start recording the show. I am sorry you are going through this. No man or woman should have to be subjected to violence, let alone from someone they once loved.
2007-05-14 12:29:56 · answer #7 · answered by melissaw77 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As soon as you get clear of the court, move out of the area and stay away from the jerk. You are right. You don't need that crap. File for a divorce asap. Good luck. He doesn't deserve you.
2007-05-14 12:32:43 · answer #8 · answered by golden rider 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the hell out. Now. There is no way on Earth you can take that kind of abuse. Whether or not you can get him charged with assault, you want to get a divorce immediately and leave. People who let themselves remain in these kinds of situations never end up happy as a result. Just get out as fast as you can and minimize the damage.
2007-05-14 12:29:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are going to court, you are already charged aren't you ?? But you said if both refused to talk, but it sounds like he already talked, you said he lied and tell them you hit him first.
So the statement to the officers and the physcial evidence of his "wounds" could well get you convicted.
But again who knows, as a police officer I have learned there is never a for sure when you are in front of a judge
2007-05-14 13:33:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself a big, mean boyfriend. Seriously, most women beaters are lowdown, cowardly, weasels. Just the sight of another man will make the little coward run.
Try to stay away from cops etc.. I've seen far too many of these nutjobs beat their wives, girlfriends and children. Then they have the audacity to hide behind their badge (and law enforcement buddies) for "hero" status.... makes me want to puke.
2007-05-14 12:31:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋