I met my friend back in 2001 and we were work friends for about 3 years till my husband and I moved out of state. She told me last year that she is getting married to the guy I sent her up with before we left. She asked me to stand up in the wedding and at the time I said yes. Now we have not spoken for a very long time and the only time she does contact me is through e-mail and it is only when she has wedding info. I bought my bridesmaids dress for $140.00 and she dropped it off at my sisters house for me to pick up when I come to visit my sister which is about once every other month. I have tried to contact her and talk with her but she never returns my calls because she says she is too busy. I am wondering if It would be wrong of me to tell her I don't want to be in her wedding maybe, just invited to the wedding as a guest. I know for a fact that after the wedding and after I have spent probably over $100.oo in gifts that we will never talk again. What should I do?
2007-05-14 12:12:42 · 5 answers · asked by Konstantin S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just do it. it'll be over soon.
sometimes you just have to please people one last time to get them to move on.
i think you should be glad she wants you to be a part of her wedding despite the fact you guys arent as close anymore, she probably thought you as someone significant in her life, even if its hard for her to keep in touch.
2007-05-14 12:21:14 · answer #1 · answered by a Rose with no other name. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you may not have talked much over the years, she still thought enough of your friendship, and the fact that you introduced the two of them, that she wanted you included in their special day. Just remember that besides dealing with every day work and life, she is now dealing with her parents and soon to be in-laws to get the wedding just right, so she probably will be pretty out of touch for a while. If you really do not want to be in the wedding, tell her now because she will have to adjust the wedding party and find someone else to take your place. But really she just wants you to be there and your responsibility is minimal when it comes to the wedding. I would be in the wedding and just see where life takes the friendship afterwards.
2007-05-14 12:49:47 · answer #2 · answered by una_jet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't really say when the wedding is. If it is very soon, I'd say you should probably go through with it. It would be rude not too, even though your 'friend' isn't really acting like a friend. But keep in mind, she probably IS very busy with the wedding plans. If the wedding is 6 months or more away you could probably bow out of it, because that would give her time to replace you. If you have really drifted away from each other, she might be grateful to have an excuse to get you out of the wedding party.
2007-05-14 12:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by hypno_toad1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would email her since thats apparently the only way you are able to talk to her & tell her that you don't want to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, that you feel that she should have someone standing for her that is a closer friend to her.
Maybe she asked you because she felt slightly obligated or she was just thankful that you introduced her to her husband to be.
No matter what, you are going to have to get down to the bottom line of things before long & either tell her that you don't want to be a member of her wedding party or just suck it up and stand up for her & cut your losses after the wedding.
2007-05-14 12:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Aimee♥™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already bought your dress and unless you can take it back and get a refund OR use it at some point, you might as well go to the wedding. Any gifts you bought can be returned should you decide not to go.
2007-05-14 12:19:12 · answer #5 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋