My friend had an abortion and now believes that she is a murderer (see below for more information).?

Question

I do not believe that she is a murderer, for the fetus was only 13 weeks "old". But she does and this is making her very depressed. She is a christian, but I am not, and she wants a christian perspective on whether she is a murderer. So is she a murderer is the fetus was nonviable and because of the medication she is on would have been seriously malformed? And what should I do to help her see my position?

When reading through the responses I realized that I forgot to say that the pregnancy was putting her life in danger.

Answer 1

based on what the word of God says, the fetus, was a life , a child. BUT, also based on what the word of God says, we are all sinners and fall short- we all sin and make mistakes and we all need forgiveness and mercy.
Whatever she was going through to bring her to the decision of abortion in the first place must have been hard. I beleive another choice could have been made, but I was not in her shoes and sometimes the other choices are hard to see. We live in a fallen world and are influenced by circumstances beyond our control- this is not to make excuse for it, but one cannot judge because they do not know what they woud have done in the same situation. What I can say is that she is not defined by her mistakes, her identity does not lie in what others think about her and in the choices she made. She is a new creation in Christ Jesus. Ask her these things, according to the word of God- is she repentent- truly sorry and seeking forgiveness? If so then God has removed her sin from her as far as the east is from the west. Now she needs to forgive herself- release that baby to God's care and be free as God has freed her from this choice. Take responsibility , yes, then repent and let it go. Beating yourself up over something you can no longer change is only showing a lack of faith in what Jesus did on the cross. Go and sin no more. She is a free woman in Christ Jesus.

Answer 2

If the fetus was nonviable, doesn't that mean that she would have aborted naturally eventually? She couldn't be a murderer if the doctor told her that she would have a miscarriage and she should have a D & E rather than wait for it to come out on its own and the problems that can cause. I had to do the same thing myself at 6 weeks.

However, if she believes she is a murderer and cannot be swayed, she CAN be forgiven if she is sorry and, therefore, can be brought back into the faith. Either way she needs psychological help. I wish her luck!

Answer 3

At the time of conception, that child is alive. Unless her doctor told her that it was dangerous for the health of her and her baby, then she did end the life of that child. There are many mothers who have known that their child would be born with deformities and still had and love that child just the same. I won't judge her, because who am I to judge. The deed is done. If she is depressed she needs to speak to a professional and keep praying. Nothing else will help her until she comes to term with what she has done. If she is taking medication that can cause harm to her future unborn children, she needs to be more careful and take precaution not to conceive again.

Answer 4

God has to sort it out, friend. Little late to be considering it now. God will forgive with repentance, and if she's Christian she knows that. Repentance means she would never do it again. If by non-viable you mean the fetus was already dead, then she was just taking care of her body. The dead baby would have to be disposed of. But if it was just a matter of "it may have been born deformed", that is not a justification for abortion.
My wife and I had a baby with spina bifuda, and he is now 35 and happy in his own way. He drives and lives alone, but manages his health problems. He has a wonderful personality and aborting him would have been a tragedy and depriving the world of a special personality. God taught our family so much through his birth and life, and still is.

Some people believe that aborted babies (human beings) are raised in heaven, and grow up and mature there. Your friend will see this baby again in heaven fully grown. Let him/her tell you if it was murder. What's done is done. All aborted babies go to heaven.

st. Paul of the New Testament says: "...one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3

One thing is clear. Your friend needs Christian influence around her right now, not some atheist/agnostic making her feel good about the death of her baby. Go away! For her sake.

Answer 5

I am sorry for you and your friend. I would suggest that she go to see a Christian counselor. However I am against abortion. I have had ultrasounds at 13 weeks and It is a living BABY. It can feel and move and has a visible heartbeat. However, it's too late to do anything now, except look ahead. If she feels she made a mistake, she can pray to God and he will forgive her and help her to get through this. Please encourage her to find a Christian counselor or go see someone at a local Baptist church to get her some help. She can move on with her life and doesn't need to feel quilty about this forever. With counseling she'll be able to ask God's forgiveness and forgive herself. I'll be praying for her. Best wishes

Answer 6

She should call her neighborhood pregnancy help clinic- they offer healing counseling for abortions. 13 weeks- everything is already there that will be except smaller. The baby's heart was beating at only 3 weeks after conception. AT 13 weeks the baby could not have survived outside the womb however it is a breathing human none the less. She needs help- from a Christian counselor- you could have her email me if you like- I have counseled women before.

Answer 7

Nouns, like "murderer," "thief," or "liar," are not helpful in dealing with the challenges of life. She made a decision that at the time made sense. If she now regrets it, and she wants to remain Christian, Christianity's greatest teaching is that forgiveness is available for the asking.

Give up on trying to convince her of your position, but instead respect her faith and her need to live a life of integrity within it. You would want the same respect for your atheism, and both of you deserve it.

Answer 8

Viability has nothing to do with one's humanness. A 13-week old baby is completely formed, just very small and needs time to grow. Yes, your friend did murder her child, I'm sorry to say. However, she can look up. Christ took her punishment for her on the cross. If she accepts His gift to her, she can still go to Heaven, and I believe she will see her baby there. She can know that she is forgiven. All she needs to do is ask Him to forgive her, and He is faithful and just to forgive and to cleanse her from all sin. Jesus forgives and heals. I would suggest she visit a website called "Rachel's Vineyard". It's a support group for women who have committed abortion and are grieving. Good luck, and God bless.

Answer 9

Your question smells a little funny, especially since most Christians would morally and religiously object to any abortion.

If your friend was truly a Christian, as you claim, then she would very easily be able to read the Bible for herself and view the way God instructed mankind to care for the gift of life.

I think you are trying to goad a Christian into an argument.

But if you are honestly asking, tell her to look up the Mosaic Law's stance on the "accidental" killing of a child in utero. She should be able to discern the answer for herself.

It's not up to me to pass judgment on anyone.

Answer 10

Ypour friend could be right, she could be a murderer. If the fetus was truly nonviable it wouldn't have lived and she would have miscarried. Now we'll never know.........