myparents are the typical indian parents in america.my parents and me and wifeand 2 kidsstayed with parents from 1996 to 1999 and paid my parents rent to offset the cost of rent. and my wife was the typical indian wife cooking ( 7adult 2 kids w/ my mother's help) and cleaning and working as a store clerk. my brothers didn't pay any rent. by may 1999 i had saved money and brought my home and my parents said we going to move in your house because it has the room plus a better area, and they paid me rent, i said ok. they lived from 1999to 2002. my parents brought a business in new york and said we will living in new york and they left1 year later i had asked my brothers to move because of fighting with them drink in front of my kids and they didn't stop. then in feb2006 my parents told me they will move in with me ( my brothers had apartments too) they said where going to india in june 2006forever. but they didn't go .my basement became a storage unit.my wife and i had apply for my
2007-05-14 11:17:11 · 15 answers · asked by vinnie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I feel sympathy for your family. i think its a good idea for your parents to live in a separate house because of this situation . you and your wife need a life of your own. Its very difficult to live with the parents who have not changed with the times and furthermore moved to US. Relationship between SAAS and BAHOO is very fragile. Sometimes living together is too close for comfort. On the other hand your kids need to interact with your parents so that they can learn old eastern values. If your parents have moved out, then don't let them feel alone. go there as much as possible, do some of their errands , leave your kids with them from time to time. Thin gs may work out real good for you guys. don't ever let your parents feel abandoned. talk to your wife and explain everything that its in the best interest of the family to live in harmony. Don't forget Fathers-day, and take them out for a dinner. Out means some restaurant. So that nobody is tired at the end of the day and no dishes to clean.
2007-05-17 02:32:21 · answer #1 · answered by Iqbal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy or rent the closest house you can find move in together & activly help him with his obligations to his parents. This isn't going away and requires tolerance, so go in with your eyes open, if you don't want the added work, Run because your commitment is not enough to be considering marriage anyway. That's Not selfish mate, you have the right to decide whether to be with him or not, He is restricted through love duty & respect for the people that brought him up, good qualities in themselves & if he were to compramise them would he the husband material you're yearning for. To pressure him would be selfish. Rock and a hard place, Decide what YOU'RE going to do
2016-04-01 01:16:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are caught between two cultures with your parents and your own life and family in America! The two conflict! Typically, the mother-in-law rules the family and your wife probably has very little say when you are all living together!! This does not make your immediate family a strong unit--AND makes it difficult for you to live successfully here in America!! You and your wife should be making decisions re your life--NOT your mother!! And then your brothers simply make it all impossible!! You have to live with your own decisions--I don't know if in all conscience you can live a totally American life. A lot of us contribute financially to our parents, but we can set limits on their living with us. Do what you see your own immediate family needs....GOOD LUCK. You're setting the example for your own sons. What do you think you will want in your old age.
2007-05-14 13:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In general it is a sin if you send your parents out of your home.But your wife is depending on you and the kids too.As grand parents they should take care of your kids and avoid all such nonsense created by your brothers.But they are not executing their duties properly.If any one doesn't understand his duties and start committing mistakes then he should be taught a lesson or to be penalised.But being a parent,your father and mother need a lesson and not a punishment.So at least to provide them an opportunity for learning the truth you can send them out without feeling guilty.
2007-05-14 20:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear friend remember ur question hence forth should be clear and short. but any way by asking ur parents to move out u have commited a grave mistake, u shld hav made ur wife understand that 2moro she will become a mother in law and how she will react if the episode is repeated for her. u hav kicked the womb frm which u have taken birth. rectify the fault before it creates more mental stress for u.
2007-05-14 17:19:57 · answer #5 · answered by badboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to look at the situation at two angles your parents and your wife's .....
your parents raised you and were there your whole life,
but your wife is the beginning of your adult life your second half and your life support at this point. Your parents are the beginning and your wife is the end so i think you need to cut some of the ties with your parents in order to appease your wife but be firm and stand your ground with your wife because after all these are your parents. How would your wife feel or react if the situation was on her end?????
2007-05-15 05:48:42 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what i feel really bad for your parents.how unlucky they are having two sons and grandchildren but no one who can take care of them.you should be ashamed of yourself you were taking rent from your parent ,i mean this is limits they are your parents did they ever ask you about money which they spend on your upbringing.they have given there whole life for you and in return when they need your support you people are backing off.i mean shame on you. you are saying my brother is there he will support them but he also might be thinking same way.think about it there are fights in every house,you should have asked your wife to adjust.this whole thing turn into a nightmare b'coz you have not taken any bold step to stop fight. still its not too late think about it you are teaching your children how to misbehave with you when get older. there is an old saying you might have heard"what goes around comes around".its never too late take care of your parents they are the one who bought you in this world and make you capable enough. its time to take your responsibility. if you can't take care of two old people then i have nothing to say,you are mature enough to know what's right and wrong. but think twice before doing anything.
au revoir.
2007-05-14 12:01:10 · answer #7 · answered by mitts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who has been there for your life? who raised you?who supported you? most likely it was your family. not your wife. your family are probly very hurt by this. if your wife has a problem with you family then what about you? your part of the family. even though its already over with i would make it up to your family. yeah your wife probly had a good reason but fammily is more imprtant.
2007-05-14 11:40:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is your home.your wife and kids come 1st in your life.i will pray for you that things will turn out ok.you are doing what should have done years ago.maybe your wife wants you back in your life.take her to a nice vacation.love her and kiss her.hugs are good too.bless you.
2007-05-14 11:25:14 · answer #9 · answered by k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not wrong,if your family is the cause of all the fights it's ok for you to tell them to leave....It's best for you and your family to get some counseling ....good luck
2007-05-14 11:41:42 · answer #10 · answered by Kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋