When I was a teenager, my divorced parents got into drugs and I was unable to live with either one (mom was physically abusive, dad was paranoid, talked about everyone "trying to get in [his] head and destroy [him]", and kicked me out a lot. I spent most of my teen years living in a hippie crash pad with my boyfriend and surviving off very little food. When I contacted my god parents (who always said I could stay with them if the divorce got messy) they obviously didn't want me there, said it was my fault and I drove my parents to their behavior. Years later, my parents are recovered and very sorry about my teen years. However, my godparents have never said a thing, and on the few occasions I have encountered them, act like nothing happened and introduce themselves as my "god parents". I'm very uncomfortable around these people who hurt me very badly. I do not want them at my wedding, but my mother is pressuring me to invite them. What do I do?
2007-05-14 10:08:07 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have not seen them much is the 8 years since this happened, and always feel very emotionally torn up and on the verge of tears when I see them. I think it's inappropriate for them to call themselves my "god parents" since they always told me that meant they would take care of me if my parents were dead or unable to care for me.
2007-05-14 10:10:31 · update #1
Your wedding day is a day to celebrate with people YOU love!! I would not invite them. Maybe that's my unforgiving, vindictive side, but they sound like horrible people. I am planning my wedding too and to make peace, my parents want to invite my dad's twin brother who essetially has ignored our side of the family since he and dad had a disagreement about 10 years ago. He even walked right past me in a store while I was hobbling along on crutches after breaking both feet like he didn't even know me. If my parents do invite him and I receive a not attending card back, I WILL phone him and explain mom and dad invited him as a peace keeping move and that he is not welcome at my wedding and that he essentially is dead to me (otherwise he will bad mouth me saying he's just invited as he gave my brother $1000.00 as a gift for his wedding and I want the same - he can shove his money up his @#$). Harsh but true. I would tell your mother how you feel and if they are truly remoreseful about their past, they will not push the issue. If your "godparents" confront you about the non-invitation, I would truthfully explain to them how badly they hurt you and you do not feel they worthy to attend.
On another not, may you be blessed on your special day. Obviously you are a very resilient individual to have come through such great adversity and still be able to have that relationship with your parents. Best wishes!!
2007-05-14 15:18:42 · answer #1 · answered by Baby boy arrived March 7th! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you feel so emotional and on the verge of tears whenever you see them, i don't suggest you invite them to the wedding. your WHOLE day will be shot and you will be upset throughout the whole wedding. this will be apparent when you take a look at your wedding pictures and any video you might have. and you do not want that memory of your wedding day to be a sad one. are they talking as if they are already invited? well the next time they even talk about your wedding, stand up for yourself and tell them how you feel and tell them what they did to you when you were growing up. they don't deserve to go.
2007-05-14 20:08:18 · answer #2 · answered by married1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your wedding and your day. These people hurt you and it was obvious they were not willing to fulfill the vows of godparents. Since you are upset when you see them you should not invite them. You should be happy on your wedding day. Tell your mom exactly how you feel and that it would only upset you and ask her to understand and support you. Congrats
2007-05-14 18:21:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's YOUR day not your Mom's. I don't think you drove your parents off the deep end, they did it themselves. These so called 'god parents' do not have the right to come to your wedding after treating you like crap. Tell your Mom how you feel. Good luck and congrats!
2007-05-14 11:02:12 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Ashley 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i comprehend the type you experience. individually, if it have been me i does no longer tell my relatives what i advance into making plans on doing. Has your finacee formally asked the top of your loved ones (ie your mothers and fathers) to your hand in marriage? that would make issues fairly less demanding via fact your making plans to elope. specific,there are maximum of issues you're able to do basically for the two one in all you, devoid of familial interference. First, detect a place to get married. discover somebody to marry you.something off the overwhelmed course. a marriage trip spot consisting of a Carnival Cruise, or a hotel which you would be able to get married at? some place quiet the place you heavily isn't disturbed. Who says you won't be able to positioned on a stunning gown? Your gown could nicely be as formal or as casual as you choose. it could be count number on the time of three hundred and sixty 5 days you have been thinking approximately getting married to p.c. the type of gown. you do no longer choose a protracted sleeved gown in a warmer climate or a strapless gown in a cooler climate. you will get a small bouquet of plant life made. He could desire to do like what I did for my hubby. i offered him a collarless white shirt, black pants, black belt, black socks,and black footwear. hire a limo or an excellent automobile to take you around. From the hotel, to the situation your getting married, to an excellent eating place and returned to the hotel returned. consult from the eating place and notice in the event that they have a private eating room, the place you might have a romantic dinner devoid of being disturbed. additionally consult from them a pair of particular cake or dessert that are you able to can share as a married couple. unquestionably hire a photographer the place your making plans to get married, and take some photos. Are there any superb mattress and breakfasts close to via that have a small backyard the place you are able to nicely be married? touch a salon to do your hair (if this is long), nails and makeup. Make this a non-classic day an exceedingly romantic day. i desire this enables.
2016-10-05 01:50:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got it right...godparents are meant to provide for you when your biological parents are unable to. Explain to your mother that these people hurt you very badly and you are not obligated to invite them to your wedding. It's your day of happiness and you shouldn't have any painful reminders of their betrayal to bring you down. Good luck!!!
2007-05-14 10:18:47 · answer #6 · answered by Kalei 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
do not invite anyone to your wedding that makes you uncomfortible. and if they ask just be like i sent you one! i am sorry you did not recieve it. the post office must have lost it and call it good. because it is your day! you wedding, your happiness, and most likely you are paying for the affair so invite whom you chose!
2007-05-14 10:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by butterflygirl249 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, these people forfeited their positions as godparents when they rejected you when you needed their help.
Don't invite them.. tell your mother why... if she has any sensitivity at all she'll realize how lucky SHE is to be invited, never mind them!
2007-05-14 20:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by endorable 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is your day. If you do not want them there then your parents need to respect your wishes. I would let my parents know what they said and explain my position. Unless they are paying they have no say so.
2007-05-14 10:41:05 · answer #9 · answered by mamatucker 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If YOU do not want them invited, then do not invite them.
It is your day, tell your parents to stop pressuring you.
2007-05-15 02:42:14 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋