Let's say you feel the need to hit your boyfriend....?

Question

...for something he said or did. I think it's natural sometimes for a woman to slap a man if she feels insulted or betrayed (we see it done all the time in movies and on tv, because it's a "classic" moment).

But, see, I don't want to be abusive or hit him repeatedly. So if I ever feel the urge to strike out at him when he's made me really angry, what should I do? (Most things are not worth breaking up over, but they can make you pretty mad).

Walking away is not an option, I've never seen a woman who can do that (not in this century anyway). So should I maybe keep a foam bat around to hit him with a few times? It might actually help the situation to hit him with a toy....

Any thoughts? Real thoughts, not "you are crazy" and other unhelpful thoughts :)

Thanks

Thanks for the replies do far! Most are really helpful, and the sarcasm in some is funny. The walking away part sounds awfully hard to do when you just found out about something, but I can try it. I'm still gona feel the need to break something. Maybe I can hit the wall with the bat, then cuss him out :)

But really, relationship therapists often give couples foam bats to hit each other with because they know emotions can get high and people sometimes have to release anger. With the foam bats, you can get it out your system without really hurting anyone. It might even lighten the mood and take away some tension. Possibly?

Sorry for the typos ^.^

Sad Steph: Yeah, I think I'm going to get a couple of bats for sure. Then we can turn each argument into a game of t-ball. I swear I think this will help, especially because I know myself when I'm mad. I might get turned on and not be able to hold out on sex though! Dang, I can't wait to pummel him with those bats...

Answer 1

I've hit my ex at least a few times and he goes all pussy ***** on me.... It's so annoying, and yes it is a natural instinct to strike a guy that has said something dumb, I don't think there's anything wrong with it especially if u can make up for it and show u didn't really want to hurt him.

If u feel the need to hit him sort of often you could make a game of it, lol. Maybe he wouldn't mind it as much if there was intimate loving involved. The best ladies have a lot of flavour, just try to channel your needs "appropriately".

Answer 2

You're ready for the 'jerry springer' show!! LOL. Adults aren't allowed to hit each other, especially when they are in a relationship. It's called 'domestic abuse' and that applies when the women are the abusers as well. So....if you're anywhere near serious about this matter I suggest you not form the habit of physically striking a man. If a man hit you with a foam bat, I doubt you'd be cool with it. And by the way, I've seen plenty of women walk away. Don't make assumptions just because you lack the nerve or the will to do so. It beats physically striking someone or trying to demoralize them by hitting them with a foam bat. It's the principle of the matter. Two people in a good relationship need to show respect toward one another and that's not the way to do that. Scarlett O'hara is not a real character.

Answer 3

I'm not a woman, so I'll try my best. Just because you see it on the movies doesn't make it ok, but I know you know that. If it is your boyfriend, and you care about him, you shouldn't ever actually try to hurt him. My girlfriend, when she gets upset at me for making a smart remark or something stupid like that, will just pretend to punch my arm, and we get over it. If what you're talking about is something more serious, it's better to sit down and talk about it. Sure it's hard to do, but walking away is, a majority of the time, the best option over verbal arguments. Step back, tell him you need a moment, and when you feel ready, politely ask him to sit down with you and have a talk about it. The only time you should ever hit a boyfriend, or anyone really, is in self defense, which I hope is never the case with your boyfriend. If it is, you have a more serious problem.

Answer 4

I like what the guy before wrote about taking away the sex. that's always a good one, but that won't give you the relief you want at the moment! if it's deserved, just like in the classics, there's nothing wrong with a good hard SLAP on the face. If he's just pissin you off and you wanna kick his *** for it, i would say either offer to "play" wrestle, kinda push him around without hitting or just BITE him! haha, ok the biting might be a lil outta control, but u get the picture!!! hahaha, i hope you post how it goes!

Answer 5

yes walk outside and set down cool down, go for a drive it helps me! i use to hit alot and then became abused myself because i hit him first so many times! That was then, now i just stand there even if it means i bite my lip i bite if i dint react to the words and bad comments he gets confussed, i tell him i am not fazed by him and i go somewhere any where so i can chill or else i cant stop the anger if i just stay close to him so do what makes u feel better but dont keep adding to the flame understand?

Answer 6

The foam bat sounds like a great idea, I'll remember that the next time Tom talks about Global Warming . . again . . . after I've warned him before that I don't want to start another argument . . . like yesterday . . . in the middle of the hallway . . . actually screw next time I'm bringing it in tomorrow!

Answer 7

Let's say he feels the need to hit you back if you hit him? If he makes you mad just get away from him. You don't have the right to hit anyone and no one has the right to hit you. If a woman ever hits me I will (and have already) hit her back just as hard as she hits me.

Answer 8

only if you want hit back...
maybe one of those foam fingers and then it would break the tension and you would both start laughing and make up.
never hit a guy unless you want to take the risk of getting hit back...they do hit harder

be cool...

Answer 9

You should carry that foam bat around and pound him on the head.

Answer 10

If it's not okay for a man to hit a woman, why should it be okay for a woman to hit a man? What do you mean you can't just walk away? Are your legs broken???

You CAN walk away, and if you can't control yourself, that's exactly what you should do - say "I need a breather" and leave.