my boyfriend is 23 years older than me?

Question

hey my b/f is 42 and i'm 19 yrs old..my family doesn't know about him bcuz they would kill me if they did, but anyway we spend alot of time with each other, i go over his place often..he cooks for me,treats me very good..but the only pblm is I think im falling in love with him, IT'S REALLY WIERD!!how can I explain myself to my family..i just dont know what to do or say to them, but nowadayz it aint really working for us 2 we've had fights anD argruments, bcuz OF his friends , im not too sure, i left him for 2 dayz now, he has my phone and doesn't wanna give it back to me, should i stay with him or leave him?? i'm confused..HELPPP!!

Answer 1

i hate to be nasty but he's robbing the craddle. he just want some young meat. and i can't says that i blame him. you know your family is not going to except him so shut off your phone, cut your losses, and move on.

Answer 2

Wow...

Well, first of all can I just tell you that I am 28 and I got a lot of (DESERVED) "flak" (for lack of a better word) from my friends and parents when I started dating my gf, who is 20. And that's only an 8 year difference...

This really, really, really doesn't sound like a good thing...

#1. He is 42 and you're 19. I mean, come on...

#2. He won't give you your cell phone back? What?! That alone ought to tell you all you need to know about this guy. I'll tell you what it says to me: trust issues, respect issues, and possibly some darker stuff as well. Seriously, be careful, please.

#3. Just a general piece of advice... if it FEELS REALLY WEIRD to the point where you can't even imagine trying to explain it to your family... there's probably a really good reason and you need to examine your feelings and your situation closely before you make any decisions.

Anyway, that's just my two cents. Good luck.

Answer 3

While I believe age doesn't matter, I also believe that you are young and should experience life. I'm sure there are things you can learn from this man, but keep your options open. There is a reason you don't want to tell your family, but they have good intentions and want to make sure you make good choices. They want you to be happy and in a healthy relationship. My husband is 8 years older than me. We met when I was 20 and he was 28. We married when I was 23 and now have 2 wonderful children. He is great, but there are times I wish I had lived more before getting married. He was older and ready to settle down and I thought I was too. Looking back, I now realize I needed to enjoy and experience life on my own longer and date more to find what I really wanted and needed in a relationship. Good luck!! I hope this helps.

Answer 4

First, learn to spell and write in complete sentences and someone with an adult mind might take you seriously.

Second, a 42 year old man has one interest in a 19 year old girl and it's not your mind which you've proven with your inadequate communication skills.

He just wants to dip his wick...you can fall in love all you want but he's not going to marry you. HELLO..what..and die first and have you get what money his ex wife didn't? NOT going to happen.

Stick with boys your own age until you can speak, read, and write properly. If you were 32 and had the same age span it would be fine..but not now, he's just using you for coochie. Plain and simple.

Answer 5

you are way younger for a man like that. I'm 40 and guys at our age are happy with someone close to our own age. Someone that we can talk to and not feel like we have to perform like a 20 y.o. We also happy staying home doing house work instead of drinking and dancing all night long. Leave him, go out and hang out with your friends. Enjoy life, you have many things to do before you get married or before you find that person who is going to spend the rest of your life with.
About the phone, go get a new phone and a new number, now days they are a dime a dozen and you can say it was stolen so they do not charge you for calls. Best of luck

Answer 6

sweet pea, you're 19, and he's 42. not good. you may be falling in love with the idea of him and the lifestyle he could provide you, but that's not the stuff you want to fall for. there are sooo many guys your own age or a little older (like no older than 25) you could be with. this guy is 42 and you are 19, don't you think he's got some strange agenda? and why can't he find someone his own age? that's a red flag, hon, that he may have issues like obsession or posessiveness or abuse, or something else, and women his own age know it. get a male friend to go with you to get your stuff from this guy's house, and then change your cell number and forget this guy. go to school and meet people there. have fun with your friends your own age--they'll probably be thrilled you threw gramps to the curb, and welcome you back to them.
it's just too big of an age difference, you're in different places in your lives. you were just in high school, you know? this guy could be a total perv (see dateline's "to catch a predator" series.) get out of it before it's too late.
best of luck to you, you can do it.

Answer 7

Leave him. He sounds like he's trying to controll who you could quite possibly start seeing... i.e. boys your own age, who have lots more to offer you (yeh okay, not in terms of security, but they're more fun and more your own age and wavelength)... You may think you're in love with him and you probably are, but you will also probably find out in years to come that it wasn't the type of love that sustains.

He's reliving his youth by going out with you. Not saying he doesn't have feelings for you.. (You didn't mention how long you'd been seeing this guy...) he may well have them.

If there have been arguments, enough for you to feel like you don't want to be with him, then your instincs are right. Listen to them. I know it's hard... but you know you don't need this hassle!!

He's the one not wanting to let you go, not wanting to let you live your life like a 19 year-old should... and why should you have to put up with his older friends looking down on you because of your age..??? Most of his male friends are just jealous and female ones think he's a knob because they're just envious of you being youthful!!

Just get a new phone. Don't tell your parents, unless you really have to... or better yet, call the police and tell them he has your phone!?!?!

You don't need this hassle sweetheart!

Answer 8

Its not so much the 23 year gap but the maturity level difference that SHOULD be there. Im 26 and even I couldnt carry on a conversation with a 19yo. This is all about molding a little girl into what he wants. He should be looking for women who are at his same level. Not saying your not mature, but its a different life. I have 40 year old freinds and even though were friends were still on very different pages in life and all we have in common is kids.

Answer 9

You need to leave him. First of all I think there is something really creepy! about a 42 yr old with a 19 yr old. You are too young to waste your time with someone that old especially if your not happy. You need to leave him believe me you will get over him with time. Think about it when your 27 he will be 50!

Answer 10

You can love him lust him, ravage each other sensually to your hearts content. Have fun now. dating someone older can be a fetish and very sexy it it's own way. desides the fact they know your brain better then most kids your age.

but... what do you want for yourself when you get older.
Do you want kids? cause by the time you are 30 he will be too old to help you drive them around.
Do you want to have sex at 35? cause you will give him a heart attack.
Are you willing o make the scarafice? Do you want to take your husbad around in a wheel char when you 40.

What anybody else says dosen't matter. You know how this man makes you feel. Now, warning the longer you stay with him the hard it will be to let him go. You will eventually just settle and let go of anything else but him. That is beutiful but make sure you know what you want before you wake up from a bad dream on day.

good luck. I say get to know yourself.
Belive me I move out when I was 15. I was very mature.
Im 27 now, And looking back I didn't know anything at 19.

enjoy yourself. dating people your age has it's benifites too.

btw - when I was 19 I went out with a 65 year old women.
it was a fettish. it got boring for me becuase I didn't want to have sex with someone that old. and we didn't have anything in common. we talked about emotions and she always tried to seduce me. that was fun cause i kept her begging but that game of cat and mouse got old eventually.

Answer 11

A few years I was in a relationship with a girl 15 years younger than me. Everything was good, we were happy and very much in love. The only problem was her parents, and their interference caused so many problems we had to end it. But it was a good experience with good memories. SO be careful, this can be a good life experience if you do not get too involved and outside influences don't cause problems