When is it enough at daycare???

Question

My 15 month old daughter and 29 month old son have been going to the same daycare for about 1 1/2 years. I haven't had any issues with them. It is a private at home daycare where they do lots of activities and are now learning sign language and I feel they are learning so much. Only, three weeks ago the biting has started. The first week my son was bit twice by the same little boy and then the next week my daughter was bit on the neck. I sat down with the daycare lady and told her that she needed to speak with the family because I don't send my kids to get beat up at daycare. She said she spoke with them. Friday I picked them up and my son and daughter both had bite marks. Do I take them out or do I talk to her again. I like where they go although I could send them somewhere else for and save 80.00 a week, but I don't because she is so good with them? Any ideas? Has anyone been through kids biting at daycare? Can I call the mother???

I pay 720.00 a month to this daycare and my children are disciplined at home so they don't act like this at home or there. I asked how many times a day my children were in trouble and my youngest has yet to sit in timeout and my son only has to sit down for running in the house. So if I do my job as a parent why is the other parent not doing her job. The daycare lady can only discipline by sitting them in time out. This lady needs to control her children I think by the age of 3 1/2 and 2 they should know better not to bite. My children are 15 months and 29 months and they know better.

Answer 1

My son is in preschool now - run by the same people who own/operate his previous daycare, but it's a seperate place for older kids - & when he was actually IN the daycare he was bitten a few times. I talked with the instructor at first & she said she had talked to the parents of the child who bit him. And yet, he was bitten again - finally I talked to the director & told them I was going to take my son out & to a different daycare if it didn't stop and I don't know how but it did.
But since this is a private daycare, it might be a little harder to push the lady to take action. She may feel uncomfortable talking to the other child's parents about it - but tell her she must. Otherwise, get your kids outta there. Human bites have the potential of being really bad - germy mouths, especially in toddlers!
Ask her if she could maybe keep the other child who is biting away from the other children, its usually a phase - one he/she needs to be corrected by their parents ( I know, both my sons went through a phase of trying to bite me & I had to keep correcting them & telling them NO ).
And if nothing gets through with the lady at the daycare, I would request the mother's phone number, if you don't already have it - and call her & just tell her your concerns, you never know, the child might be going through a phase or something bad may have happened at home.(If necessary, take pictures of the bite marks for record)
If you really don't want to go through too much trouble, I would say just switch them & hope for the best.
Good Luck, and I'm so sorry about this situation ( it sucks to see bite marks on your kids )

Answer 2

When i was in college i worked in an infant room at a child development center. we had many issues with biting as the ages in the room were 6 weeks to 18months. we even had the school psychologist come in for one case that was getting very bad. the parent of the biter generally feels very bad as u could imagine and really at the age there is no punishment taht they would understand they just need to be redirected from the situation and make sure no attention is given to the child as that is what they crave. i imagine at a home day care though the ages vary so if the biter is older he would understand punishment but should be handled by the parents and teacher. you would not resolve anything by talking to the parent as i am sure the teacher is letting them know how upsetting this behavior is to you. you cant force the daycare to kick out the other child so if you feel the enviornment has become unsafe then u have every right to take out your children but keep in mind if you are putting them in another daycare the potential for the same thing to happen is there. hopefully the issue can be resolved all i can say is kids grow out of it and hopefully your children dont start to bite back!

Answer 3

This happens. Both of my kids have been bit. The explanation that I've been given in all cases has been that the kids are not good at communicating at this point. Something is frustrating them...like kids fighting over the same toy...and they get frustrated and bite. My kids have never been the biters. My daycare has watched the kid that has been doing the biter a little more closely and is more intuned to what situations that child bites under and then they try to redirect the kid.

I know its a frustrating experience as a parent. We are paying $250 a week and experiencing it on occassion. It is normal. At 2 years old or under, it is difficult to either punish the child or make them understand that it is wrong.

I'd ask the instructors to watch the kids causing the bites more closely...observe what the situation was that caused the kid to bite....and then try to redirect the kid.

Answer 4

Well, I was the mother who had the kid that was biting everyone. At first, the daycare didn't even tell me. I had no idea that she was biting! She wasn't doing it at home. Anyway, I came in about 15 minutes early one day to pick her up and she was in a corner pouting. I was a little surprised and asked what happened. They told me that she had been biting kids for a few WEEKS now and so they started to put her in a corner when it happened. There was a little girl sitting by the sink and they were dabbing a bite mark on her arm with vanilla. I picked up Lilith and started kissing her and telling her I loved her. I went straight up to the manager of the daycare and got onto them for not telling me sooner. Maybe I could've prevented it from happening had I known. And saved my child from getting in trouble at daycare. I say tell her that you are considering changing daycares if it continues. Then she'll know you are serious and wwant to see something change.

My cousin, her son was a biter and the daycare let her know every time it happened. Which was usually two or three times a day. Now, this is on the extreme end of it, but my cousin did everything she could and couldn't get him to stop biting other kids. He ended up getting kicked out of that daycare. When she changed him, the biting was still happening, but not as often. So, I wonder if maybe it was so bad because the sitters were doing something wrong. But it didn't last long. Only a few months, but some of those kids got bit ALOT.

With my daughter, she was teething and they weren't giving her Orajel like they told me they would. As soon as her teeth came in the biting stopped. She just didn't know what to do with the pain and didn't understand that it was hurting the other kids.

Answer 5

If you REALLY love the daycare like you say you do, then i would stick with them. Biting is usually a short (but painful for others) phase. Question your daycare worker on how she is disciplining the child that is doing the biting. You are libel to find out that if you go somewhere else you will run across the same problem again and may not even like the daycare as much. Good luck!

Answer 6

Kids bite out of pain (teething) or frustration typically. Is your lady encouraging the biter to use words and not bite or hit when they are mad? Even a kid yelling no is better than them biting. Talk to her. Tell her that you understand it is a tough issue, but you can't allow your kids to get in this cycle of getting bitten. Tell her you will give her a week or two to try to sort it out, but after that you may need to find a new day care. In Va, many places kick out the biter after 2-3 occurances.

My son was bitten pretty bad on his neck. I found the bite at home but had heard him scream at day care when I picked him up (he went to the coat rack alone). I took a picture and talked to the owner the next day. She showed the picture to the boy who was in the room with us at pick up time-he admited he bit my son cause he took something from his hand and he cried when he saw the picture because "he hurted the baby". He apoligized to my little boy and the teacher talked to him about using our words and being patient with children that are younger. As a big kid he needed to be an example of being good. We haven't had a problem since. And I also found out this boy just got a new brother and was not happy over it. I don't think it will happen agian. My own son bites me when teething if I let him rest his head on my shoulder before bed.

And yes-biting is an issue at most day cares. It is how they deal with it that is the thing to focus on. If they try to step in and help the biter not to bite, that is best. Otherwise those biters just make the rounds at all the area daycares since they get kicked out all the time.

Answer 7

I do home daycare myself for 2 little girls. One is the same age (3) as my own child so we have had a bitting issue ONE time. The one that did the bitting was given a time out and then spoken to frimly about not bitting.. we have had no more trouble. So it sounds like the lady that is watching these kids is not disaplining them when something like this happens. You should speak to her again and ask her what she is doing to make the bitting stop? Is the biter being place in time out or something? Tell her the issue needs to be resloved or you will take your childern else where.

Answer 8

I have 2 kids and worked for several years in day care settings. Most daycare centers have policies on biting. The ones where I worked (on military bases) all had limit. I can't remember what it was but I think it was 2 or 3 offenses. Once the biter passed this limit, he/she was kicked out. They took biting very seriously. With that said it is a very common thing for two year olds and you will find that at every day care setting. The difference is how they deal with it. Find out what her policy is (if she even has one). Good luck!

Answer 9

I had the same problem...only my son did the biting. MY daycare lady jumped on it right away, and solved the problem by segragating my son till he understood...e's 2-1/2. WE figured that it was not done in anger but frustration because his words didn't come quickly enough for him. He only did it twice, but I sure felt like crap when he bit the little girl.

Answer 10

honestly, calling the mother probably wont do much, chances are she is just as mortified as you are! its just something some kids go thru. both my boys did...thank goodness they went thru it at home & not at daycare. i always disciplined them when they did, and they both grew out of it eventually. talk to the provider and ask what is done as a consequence of biting. the kids should at least be put in time out. if you change daycares, i guarantee there will be biters at that one as well, bc its a phase that so many kids go thru. good luck!