Why does my cat hate me?

Question

Alright we found a cat outside about a year ago, she was like a bag of bones, so we took her in. The vets estimated her to be between 1-2 years old, so she's probably about 3 now. Got her neutered and shots and all of that. I try to be as nice as I can to her, but she's mean. I try to pet her and she just gives me this glare, if I pick her up and hold her she sits there and tries to get away the whole time. If you pick her up she sometimes growls and hisses. I give her treats, feed her, catnip, try to play with her occasionally, leave her alone for the most part, yet she still hates me with a passion. She's really nice to my mom, follows her around, crawls in her lap and sits with her, etc. but nobody else.

Sometimes whenever I go to pet her she swats me and makes me bleed, I just walk away rather than trying to punish her cuz I think that will make her hate me even more than she already does. I just don't understand why she hates me, I've never done anything to her?

Answer 1

This kitty does not hate you. It is probably scared or unsure about you. Since you rescued it from the street, you don;t really know its history.
In a way, the kitty is showing gratitude for being rescued, fed and taken care of. Even if it does not show this to you. I assume your mom is the one taking care of her like feeding, and being there during the day? This may be why kitty follows your mom and trusts her more than anyone else.

The best thing is to take things slowly, don't push kitty into being touched or held. Since she was found on the street, she may not have had the best of experience with people, or may not have had any, which is what feral cats are - wild, and unaccustomed to human interaction.

Try to just talk to kitty, calmly, quietly, without reaching for her or trying to pick her up. Allow her to come to you on her own terms. Some cats need a longer time to feel comfortable around you.

I have had one feral cat for 2 years, and he still does not want to be touched. He doesn't hiss or swat at me anymore, but is not comfy enough to be touched. I am okay with that. He doesn't hate me.

My other ferals run and hide when i only move..., the kitten started to be curios and now loves to watch me do the dishes. Off and on i sneak up on him and just lightly touch his back or tail. He turns and looks at me - but doesn't hiss or growl anymore. If I hold my hand out he will sniff it and then bat at it, but with no claws. He plays with me with feather wands or shoe laces. I interact with him every day so that he learns I don't mean harm. And he gets better every day.

Perhaps your mom can take the kitty to have her claws trimmed, or if kitty is comfy with her, she may be able to do it herself, so it doesn't prick your skin when kitty swats at you.

Answer 2

She was clearly mistreated before. Since she likes your mom but not you, my guess would be that she was mistreated by a man. She's mostly just scared of you. Don't force her to do anything she doesnt want to do. If you pick her up and she doesn't want to be held, put her down. She has to learn to trust you and that you're okay.

If there are any special treats (cat treats, tuna or a little milk) that she likes, try sitting very still on the floor and holding some of the treats (or putting them next to you on the floor). Just sit very still and let her come to you. Don't try to pet her, just let her be close to you and enjoy the treats. Do it every other day or so, gradually moving the treats closer to you. Eventually you can start petting her when she comes close (although some cats are sensitive about being touched while they eat).

Also, remember that all cats are individuals. Just like people, they don't like everyone. Don't take it personally if she doesnt warm up to you that much.

Answer 3

Ok, I adopyed my cat and he had some behavioral issues too. My vet let me borrow a book on animal behavior. From what I know so far the cat probably looks to your mom as it's actual mom. If the cat was with it's original mother and it did something the mom didn't like, the mom would growl in a deep gutteral voice as she gently pinched the back of its neck (the spot with a lot of skin) and pinned him down for a second (without hurting it of course). The vet told me to do the same thing to my cat and actually do the growl and everything (so it sounds like a cat growl), and it seemes to be working. Maybe you should have your mom do this to your cat as you and it play and if he acts up have her do the pinch and growl. It doesn't hurt them it just reinforces whos in charge. The only thing that worries me is that your cat might have been abused in the past (judging from his anger toward you) and that may bring up a whole other set of issues. In the end, talk to your vet and see what they think, maybe they could recommend some good cat behavior books.

Answer 4

Cats Are Very Territorial. That mans a cat feels a stranger has invaded his/her territory. In a case like that, a cat could be aggressive in direction of one cat -- frequently the main uncomplicated-going -- yet friendly to a different. The time whilst problems crop up is whilst a clean kitty arrives, a youthful kitten will become a individual cat, or the homestead cat seems out the window to be sure a unusual cat in the backyard -- the homestead cat could chase, ambush, hiss, and/or meow angrily. And it’s no longer basically the lads. woman cats could nicely be in basic terms as infuriated via strangers.

Answer 5

I know it is hard to feel rejected by an animal. Sometimes that is just the way some cats are. I don't think she hates you cats aren't capable of hate because they are animals. Animals can chose the person in the family that they want to follow and sometime that is the only person they want to be with. Maybe you can ask you mom if you can get another cat that can be yours and then you won't feel so bad.

Answer 6

She doesn't hate you, she just doesn't trust humans probably from a past experience, trust me I had a cat like this, not as bad though. My stepmom put the cat in a box to take it home when it was just a baby, the cat was in the box so long, thats what we think made it so mean. This cat would claw me and hurt me all the time, but it finally got nicer. My suggestions are just to leave the cat alone when it wants to be alone, but when it comes up to you, hold it and pet it, cats really like it when you stroke behind their ears.

Answer 7

Cats do not know Hate. They know fear...so maybe it's something about the way you carry yourself around her that brings to light,bad memories.maybe you should get an opinion from your vet.....or you can log on to the Purina Cat Chow site on the internet and see if you can find a solution there.Usually it can take a long time for an abused pet to warm up to it"s human counter-part. So good luck,be gentle with her and always use a quiet soothing voice when talking to her ;-)

Answer 8

You should never take in a feral cat. Or, if she had been only recently abandoned, they way you describe her, she had been badly abused and traumatized by her previous owner. IMO, you'll either have to live with her the way she is (which may be another 15 years), find another home for her, or put her down.

Answer 9

Sounds like the cat's been traumatized, maybe before you even took her in. I'm really good at befriending cats, when it gets difficult like in your situation and I stay away and don't pick them up until I've gained their trust. But also leave little treats for them, and don't force yourself upon them. It's like playing hard to get. It's work in relationships, and pets. For me anyway!

Answer 10

Cats have their own personality and for the most part aren't as loving as most dogs would. She may sense fear or hesitation in you and might not like you for it. Or she may not have any reason at all. Cats are their own 'person' and are highly indpendent creatures. Try not to take it to personally. If all else fails, get yourself a kitten to cuddle with.