I am just wondering what your opinion is. i think that i am ready but the person is almost ten years older than me.
2007-05-14 05:12:30 · 25 answers · asked by steven 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It is a difficult question. Let's think. It depends on many aspects. It is a serious decision and doing it first you have to think about your future.
1. About your age. If you are young don't hurry. Sexologists say that about 20 is a good age. I don't know what is yours.
And those young people who have sex look older. It's not a problem while you're young. But it wouldn't be very good after some time, when you'll get older. It's in youth we try to look older, but after 35-40 you'd want to do everything to look at least your age. It's from my experience too. I dated one boy, yes, he was 16, but he was supposed to be (looked like he was) 20-25. I looked younger than I have been and people thought there was a 10 year difference between us.
Read Shakespeare. Paris asked Juliet's father to give her to him. The last said that this early maturity would harm. Well, of course, in the end he finally decided to marry his daughter, but wouldn't you agree that what he has said first was wiser?
But it's not the most important point. The most important is your motivation. What do you want to do it for? If you really feel that you're gonna be with this person and your intentions are serious, then it's good. I'll be honest, it's stupid to do it only:
- because you're bored and want to be with someone. This person will fall in love with you and you'll not find any occasion to get rid of it. It's from my friend's experience. She felt that she needed hands of a man, but she didn't love him. It's her situation I described. It is his broken heart. Even if he thinks that he's satisfied with such relations, he lies to himself. Even if you both think that "It's OK, I'll not be disappointed!" it still will be a kind of illusion, unjustified hope.
- if you're not sure if you're ready. You say: "I think that I am ready". Pay attention, you didn't say: "I'm ready", and as a person who studied psychology a little, I say that you still doubt. It matters, you see not only what you say, but how you form your thought. Subcouncsiously you still are not that ready if you form your thought this way. If you didn't have a doubt about it, you wouldn't have asked this question. And one doubts it means that he's not ready. If one is really ready, he doesn't doubt or ask, he does it confidently.
And I'll share some of my wishes. One day I met a person I really wanted to be with. I didn't date anyone before, but he did. And he, a person who always thought: "It doesn't matter, before dating someone seriously I have to try it with others!" (he was that kind) - you know, I was the only one to whom he said: "If I knew that I'd meet you, I wouldn't have done this with others." It was amazing, he's not a christian! Of course, his experience didn't matter in general, about the one you really love. But you know, permanently it still influences. I don't say that you have to do this or that, but my advise is not to waste yourself. Believe, it would not help you to find a person you really love. Just don't waste away your feelings for those people you know that you're not gonna be with. At first it's useless, you'll not gonna be together, but it leaves a broken heart.
It's also stupid to do it only to show your power and your skills. Because what matters is not that you show the power, but to whom do you show your power. When you show your power to those people you'll not be with in the future, you're not meant for, it's like refuelling another's autmobile. Today you fuel it, and tomorrow you'll not drive on it. Then what did you refuel this automobile for?
That's why I say that a person has to be sure about his/her feelings first.
2007-05-14 06:32:46 · answer #1 · answered by Irene 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Because:
1. All risk or pregnancy cannot be eliminated
2. Risk of Sexually Transmitted Diseases is always there.
3. Sex is an emotional commitment
4. Sex is best in the context of marriage,
I would recommend that you be prepared to be a father and have a family. Then you're ready for sex.
Now if you're gay, that's another question entirely. You're sixteen and there's NO WAY a man of 26 should be in a relationship with you. Give yourself time to keep your head clear. The last thing you need is to be facing AIDS in your 20's or less my friend.
2007-05-14 05:25:58 · answer #2 · answered by waldguy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are only 16!! which means he is 26! I looked at your yahoo 360 page and looks like your talking about another male. He would be considered a child predator and could face major jail time for it.. He only wants sex from you. He doesn't care about you or he wouldn't be taking advantage of you like he is doing buy putting you in this situation! Tell a parent or a teacher because this is sexual abuse by someone that knows what he's doing and needs help!
Bottom Line, any OTHER time if you are questioning it already image how you will feel when you've done it and you can't take it back. You want your first time to be special. Make sure this person is not just taking advantage of you.. Make them wait until you are ready! IF they will not, they never really cared for you at all.
Wait Please so you don't regret this later!
2007-05-14 05:20:41 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't have sex unless you are able to fully accept any responsibilities for the outcome, such as a pregancy. Therefore, you should have a steady job, your own place (it is very disrespectful to have sex under someone else's roof, by the way), and emotionally stable.
If you have all that by age 16, good for you. If you still aren't ready by age 30, well, you better get moving, or you'll get arthritis for sure!
And remember, even though you practice safe sex, a condom can break; and the pill isn't exactly 100% safe either.
2007-05-14 05:33:00 · answer #4 · answered by quizicalgal 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Age...doesn't matter too much with me...its about maturity...and also being married...just make sure that if you decide to have sex with someone who is that much older than you, they are not taking advantage of you....esp if you are a teenager or early twenties...it is a very common thing...it happened to me...They older more exp people know how to lure you in most of the time...be careful...use your better judgement...aka your head, not your heart...if you are having doubts...don't do anything...there is no harm in waiting...better things come to those who wait...if that person cares about you and is special enough to take away your virginity...they can wait on you too and show you they value and respect you...If you want to ask me anything else...just email me or send me a message...
2007-05-14 05:21:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
ITs when U feel like your old enough...just make sure u are responsile enough to take on anything that sex brings...such as..a child...STD's those things. because even though there is birthcontrol, its not %100 and i have gotten pregnant on all three forms i have ever tried... I have 3 children now , and am trying for #4 ..and i am 20yrs old! so yes, i lost my virginity at a very young age....and i dont regret having children but i wish i would have waited to have sex... The age thingy,,, well my husband is 9yrs older than me and says its the best sex ever..so, i dont think it has anything to do with "experience" you can learn new things everytime you have sex...be spontaneous...well good luck to you...just make sure YOU are ready..dont do it for them...
2007-05-14 05:42:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you are old enough to take responsibility for a possible pregnancy that could occur. If you are not mentally and financially ready to have a child then you should not be having sex.
2007-05-14 05:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by zeus112999 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is any one set age. I know people who are 30 aren't mature enough at times. But if I had to pick a good age that I believe is reasonable I'd say around 18 when you become an adult.
2007-05-14 06:25:07 · answer #8 · answered by d4cav_dragoons_wife84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you are in a committed loving relationship for a good period of time. No younger than 16 which is the age young adults may marry in many states.
2007-05-14 07:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looking back, I would say it's really stupid to do so before you're out of highschool, and I have to agree that it's much smarter (and better) to wait until you are ready for marriage.
This is just my opinion, from my experiences.
2007-05-14 06:33:57 · answer #10 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋