my dad who is 93 yrs old recently underwent brain surgery and hes in the first stages of alzhiemers before?

Question

this surgery to remove a pool of blood out of his brain due to two falls this past winter,i found out that his alzghiemers has gotten worse since the surgery and I am forced to be his caretaker.my mother is recuperating from knee reconstructive surgery and my brother is a very busy dentist this leaves me with no choice but to handle my dads childlike actions.hes doing things that hes never done before.on mothers day we were invited to my nieces home and as people were getting ready to leave my dad sees this and thought he was home so he started to get ready for bed by unbuttoning his shirt and his pants,iI said dad,youre not at home and he fixed himaself up.thank god no one was in the room! I know for a fact that we need an aide to stay with my father until my mother gets back home,my brother thought of this but never followed through and hes leaving it all up to me.I find this a very exasperating chore because Ive never done this in my life! no matter who iI tell this to,I get hell.

for those of you that dont get the question,I am asking how do I cope with this as its too much of a responsibility for me to take on my own

Answer 1

Please, please, please go to the Altzheimers Association website!!!!!
You are taking on an overwhelming and stressful situation that can be handled once you have more facts on this terrible and progressive disease. Do NOT be so hard on yourself. I have worked with people with Altzheimer's for the last 5 years and it is frightening and difficult to see a person you love change so much. If you call your local hospital and ask for the social services department they should be able to give you names of companies that provide in home care. Your village hall should also be able to give you information on senior services in your area.
You are not alone! And remember, your mom should not be alone to handle this when she is better.

Think about how frightening it is to live in his mind. One day you know how to use a pen, the next day you see it and know you should know what it is- but the memory of actually being able to use it is gone. The cells in his brain that had that knowledge are gone. Love him, remember the man you know and keep him in your heart.And treat the man he is becoming with patience and dignity. Just as you would want him to do for you. As his caregiver, you must take care of yourself also. Take help that is offered, try simple things he may have enjoyed as a youngster to distract him, and make sure he is never left alone.
Please contact me at [e-mail] if you want to just vent or for more specific strategies that may help.

Answer 2

Get in touch with the 'Area of the Aging' in
your town. They provide many services for
those over 65. They usually have people who
will come and stay with them and help assist
at home. They may also provide meals on
wheels so they have something to eat. Or
they can help you decide what nursing home
and what processes you will need to go
through. They will come and speak with you
and your dad and help you make the decisions
of what is best for him... http://www.aoa.dhhs.gov/eldfam/How_To_Find/Agencies/Agencies.asp

You can find the area of aging in your area
by looking in the phone book. Hope this is
of some help.

Caregiving is not an easy job. Everything
surrounds the one being taken care of and
you feel yourself thrown into being totally
responsible not only for their care, but their
life and health as well. It makes you feel
like you are on RED ALERT all the time.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear that, but I don't understand what the question is.

addition: generally, it sounds like you are going through role overload. In other words, you are taking on more that you can handle, however there are many coping strategies in order to help you reduce the stress. Take time for yourself. Although I know you have to be with him, make sure you allow yourself some time in the day to devote to yourself. In addition, try to stay optimistic. If you stay optimistic, pointing out things you enjoy in the day, your attitude will increase. Furthermore, talking this over with loved ones. By talking, your emotions will come out in an effective way. However, this is a difficult situation and is not expected to work right away.

Answer 4

Boy, I feel for you. Nobody really seems to want to hear what the caregiver is experiencing. They ask about the patient, but they don't really want to hear the answer. It is very frustrating, and it leaves you feeling all bottled up, unappreciated and scared.

My father died of Alzheimer's in 1983 when I was only 27 years old. My mother cared for him, and he did everything from pee in his boots to get lost in the woods on their farm. It seemed like nobody understood, and it was a very isolating time in my family.

Now my mother has it, and I am her caregiver. My two sisters are "too busy" and can't really be bothered much. When people ask me how my mom is doing, and I begin to answer, I see their eyes kinda glaze over and I know. They were only asking to be nice. I'm thinking of joining an Alzheimer's caregiver support group.

ADDITIONAL DETAILS:

If your father has medicare or a long term care policy, find out what benefits he qualifies for under those plans. You may be able to get him into an assisted living facility or a nursing home. Or it may be possible for a trained professional to assist him at home.

If these are not options, you'll have no choice but to get in your brother's face (in a nice way). This is too much for one person to handle. He's your brother's father, too.

Answer 5

Talk with his doc. and see if you and get help with his It is a very hard thing that you are doing Your Parents would be very proud of you . But the most important thing is to remember to take care of you. Tell your bothers you need help after all it is there father too. I very much under stand were you are coming from I spent 3 months running from work to the hospital then back to work and then back to the hospital then a month run doing the same thing but to a nursing home then to a retirement home for one month then to my sister s house of one month all be for my dad pass away And I t was me and my one sister the other one though we should put him in a home and for get about him but how can you do something like that to the man who was always there for you
One more place you can see if about help is the mental heath department of you local hospital they will have support groups so you know that you are not alone in this they are a very good help please check it out

Answer 6

I hate to be rude b/c I see you are in a very stressful situation but what exactly is your question so I can try to help?

EDIT: You may want to start thinking about putting your father in a nursing home b/c this is way too much for one person to hadle. You could make it some place close so you could visit often. Don't feel bad about it hough...we age and there is nothing to stop it...you will be doing him a huge favor b/c if an emergency were to arise the nursing home will be better equipt to take medical action...good luck, and god bless!

Answer 7

How much worse would you feel after your father dies if you turn your back on him now that it may be an inconvenience for you to take care of him?

He cant control what is happening to him. Even though he cant express it inside he knows there is something dreadfully wrong with him. He must be terrified! Remember the same thing could happen to you someday.

Answer 8

It's much like rasing a child, no first time parent has done that before. Take it one day at a time. And rember, one day he took care of you in much the say way.

Answer 9

It is one of the hardest things a human being can go thru, taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer's. But he took care of you when you needed it!!! It is your turn.

Answer 10

I dont know what to tell u but just enjoy him while hes still alive cause he wont be living much longer