Basically at school (we're in 6th form and between 17-19 years of age) we have a huge friendship group. Theres this particular guy who throughout the 2 years would have mood swings and always seek attention. Now its become much worse! Basically he just needs to constantly be with agirl. So he's asked out almost all of our female friends out, HE DOES NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER! THE GIRLS THAT HE PICKS ON ARE OFTEN SIMPLE AND HE KNOWS THAT THEY WOULD NOT SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE!
AT FIRST HE WOULD BULLY THE PARTICULAR GIRL LIKE THROW A JUG OF WATER ON HER IN PUBLIC AND MAKE OUT THAT HE WAS THE VICTIM AND HE WAS MADE TO ACT IN THIS WAY AND HE ACTS ALL GOOD IN FRONT OF ALL OF US. THEN HE MOVED ONTO ANOTHER GIRL AND SAID SOME QUITE PERSONAL OFFENSIVE THINGS TO HER, HE ASKED HER OUT TO THE PROM AND SHE'S VERY SIMPLE AND HE SAID NO AND HE STARTED SWEARING AT HER BY TEXTS AND EMAILS BUT NEVER IN FRONT OF ANY OF US. NOW HE HAS MOVED ONTO THE 3RD GIRL.
2007-05-14 04:02:41 · 22 answers · asked by Bo 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
THE 3RD GIRL HE IS THE WORST! SHE TRIED TO STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH HIM , BUT HE THREATENED HER THAT HE WOULD CONTINUE TO SELF HARM. SHE NEEDS HIS PERMISSION FOR EVERYTHING! EVEN IF SHE DOESNT TELL HIM THAT SHE'S SIGNING OFF MSN HE SWEARS AND MENTALLY BULLIES HER. HE SAYS THAT HE WILL TURN UP AT HER HOUSE AND HER PARENTS WILL FLIP (STRICT FAMILY) AND THIS AND THAT! HE BULLYS HER SO BAD THAT WHENEVER SHE SEES HIM SHE BREAKS DOWN AND GETS SOOOOOO SCARED!
HE'S JUST SENT HER A TXT SAYING THAT HE'S GNA MKE HER LIFE HELL!
HE'S JUST SENT HER ANOTHER SAYING THAT IT STARTS FROM NOW!
WHAT SHOULD WE ALL DO?????
2007-05-14 04:07:08 · update #1
Go to the police. He is harrassing her, and it is documented on the test message. He sounds dangerous. Nip it, NOW!
2007-05-14 04:11:29 · answer #1 · answered by Sabrina 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ok. This is a problem you cant solve as a group, but you can help a great deal as a group.
Heres what to do: This boy has issues about control and needing attention. He's not desperate for a girlfriend or someone to keep him company, he just wants things his own way because he is a singleminded bully who doesnt care about other people, thats why he picks on weak or timid people. He wouldnt pick on a tough girl becuaase he knows he would lose and lose badly.
You have to stick together on this :All of you agree he is NOT a part of your group any more. Go, as a group, with the girls he has picked on, to his parents, if that doesnt stop it, go as a group to your form tutor or head of year and say he is a bully hes bullying girls we as a group are opposed to bnullying and we need you to use the school bullying policy to do something about it.
There is always a trusted adult who will listen and help and this is a time when you need to pull in that advice, seriously guys you cant handle this alone, someone has to lay down the law to him and it has to be a parent or a teacher, someone in authority, do it.
It will work. He just needs the appropriate person to put him inn his place. And once hes been dealt with - ignore him freeze him out of the group basicaly act as if hes not there. You dont need someone like that hanging around, he will spoil the harmony in your circle of friends and spread a lot of misery while hes at it. Report it, you will be glad you did.
2007-05-14 04:37:25 · answer #2 · answered by Marilyn's Sister 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems as if your "friend" has what can only be described as a personality disorder. From what you say, he can be pleasant around you, denying any claims that he has done any wrong. But when he doesn't get his own way, he becomes confrontational, aggressive, manipulative, and also lashes out physically. I would guess that he has trouble forming close relationships of any kind, and it sounds like his behaviour is escalating.
Personally I would gather your friends together to discuss the problem. He either needs to be confronted about his behaviour and boundaries need to be set, or you all need to agree not have anything to do with this person.
As regards to the incident with the water, and the threatening and abusive text messages, then someone in authority needs to be alerted. He needs to understand that this behaviour is totally unacceptable.
If he continues to threaten that he will self harm, let him. It's not your problem. It sounds he has you all marching to the beat of his drum.
I hope you sort this problem out...good luck!
2007-05-14 04:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by raymondo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insecure, abandonment issues, needs to feel loved. Remember that a person who is "attention seeking" does it because they feel a deep emotional deprivation of attention not just to annoy everyone else.
That doesn't mean you have a moral obligation to be the person who gives the attention - oh no! - that would just end you up in more of a mess. But before reporting him to the police or the principal, maybe talk to the school counsellor (I think most 6th forms have them now) or his favourite teacher, and see if they can help him. Being chastised and hated for his behaviour will just make him feel more rejected and therefore feel a need for even more attention. It will make things worse not better.
2007-05-14 04:17:00 · answer #4 · answered by tickle me emo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up, chill out. Anyone who doesn't want to know him can just block him on email and MSN, and contact their network provider to have him blocked from calling and texting. Go to your year head together and explain that this is harassment and you are all frightened and he will be monitored. Tell your parents, if any of your group's parents know his parents then ask them to make a phone call to let them know. If you just stop giving him all this negative attention and reinforcing the bullsh*t he will give up and go away, or do something stupid and receive appropriate professional help. Leave him to it. Get on with your coursework.
2007-05-14 04:38:30 · answer #5 · answered by tigerfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This must stop. This type of bullying is not acceptable in any school. You must confide in your form teacher and let him/her know what is happening. The teachers are trained and experienced in how to handle such situations without getting the students in trouble.
If you do not report this now, the incidents may get worse.
Pls talk to a teacher you trust and feel comfortable with.
Do not delay. Do it NOW!
2007-05-14 04:14:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and the other girls get together , and report this guy to the head if so to the police he's no good , he could do alot worse sounds like even a sex attacker, hes clever DO SOMETHING NOW AND TELL THE GIRL TO STAND UP TO HIM
HE'S DANGEROUS AND NEEDS TO BE STOPPED !
2007-05-14 04:13:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to stop being secretive and tell some one who can help.Bully's rely on secrets that's how they thrive.He seems to have found the weakest in No 3.
HE IS DANGEROUS.
Get help and get it fast.You should be seriously concerned about him NOT strict parents.
GET HELP RIGHT NOW, OR YOU COULD LIVE TO REGRET IT.
Good Luck
2007-05-14 04:22:58 · answer #8 · answered by David 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mental!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think he has some serious issues, sound like he obviously has the potential to be aggressive verbally (as displayed) and physically in the future. Its difficult to suggest to someone they may need some counselling but I cant see any other option. Maybe try and explain what he is doing from your point of view and see how he justifies it. It may make him realise what he is doing. Good luck
2007-05-14 04:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he nos his game and thats wot it is stay away from him inform sumone at school so they no but it sounds 2 me hes tryin 2 rule the roost and make u scared dont give in 2 his pressures his tryin 2 get him self noticed hes a bully.....
2007-05-15 09:36:14 · answer #10 · answered by miss walker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he needs to be controlled, first off...and shown that his behavior is unacceptable...and you need to talk to him first. Tell him, that you really like him as a person, but that he is getting a reputation as a weirdo..then talk to a school counciler to get him some help...don't let him slip through the cracks...
2007-05-14 05:18:49 · answer #11 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋