What makes people think it's okay to tell someone to gain weight?

Question

It's not okay to tell someone to lose weight.

I go see the in-laws every few months and they are quite the hefty family compared to mine- including those younger than me. I'm thin but muscular and curvy. I've done some swimsuit modeling and still do promotional modeling. I'm a bit of a fitness freak as well. Anyways, besides the obvious reasons why anyone would ask such a thing incessantly. I'm more so surprised it doesn't cross anyone's mind that it's just simply rude and inappropriate to say that to someone- especially an adult. It's the same thing every time I see them even though we meet every few months. I always say the same thing. "I don't need to gain anything. I'm just naturally thin and have been all my life." You'd think people would leave you alone but it's a broken record every time. I'm not willing to stoop to low levels by retorting with the obvious insults that plague the obese but my patience is running low for people that have no knack for simple etiquette

I'm just curious to see what others have to say. This instantly turns me off to every family gathering and I always tend to wander off into my own world. I can't wait to leave every time.

Well, also I'm Asian and they are Italian. There is a huge difference in genetics there.

Answer 1

I grew up and was an adult in an area where older women were always saying I was "too skinny" and I needed to eat more. Well that's because they were larger and they thought large equals healthy. I'm not "skinny" just small boned, I got that from my mother. And I look them in the eye and tell them that and that I can't help it!

I moved, and now I get mistaken for pregnant! Which to me is even more rude! I guess people just feel the need to have something to say, no matter how rude it is.

Answer 2

I would start crying the next time they say something like that and tell them I can't gain weight no matter how hard i try and that I'm sorry I dissapoint them. I'd make a huge scene so that they'd never bring it up again.

Answer 3

when I visit relatives in india, they'll say that I lost weight (regardless of my actual weight change), and they mean it in kind of a derogatory way. I think the implication is that I don't know how to take care of myself and feed myself properly, so I should appreciate their food and hospitality while I am there. I do take care of myself, and I am a good cook so of course I'm a little offended, but they just don't know and it's more that they're saying what they think a priori of the actual evidence. with family you sometimes just have to let comments like that go.

Answer 4

I think it's just as rude as telling someone to lose weight. It's probably because they're jealous

Answer 5

From an etiquette point of view it is just as rude for someone to tell another that they need to diet as it is for someone to say the opposite. But when it comes to family (including in-laws) such criticism comes with love.

Because you are dealing with family it is completely possible to avoid these critical statements, which are probably actually meant as an indirect compliment. I am sure no one is intentionally trying to make you feel bad. And, within a family it is not rude to correct the offending party since the criticism to their judgment on a healthy weight is being made with love too! Families are creatures of habit so don't be surprised if it takes a visit or two for everything to sink in. If they continue to forget you could sit them down at the computer and have everyone compare your BMI with the BMI calculator at the link below, to theirs.

Answer 6

Probably the same thing that makes SOME people decide it's ok to tell me to lose weight.

Answer 7

Be kinder than necessary, you are blessed with good genes and are to be commended for taking proper care of the temple that is you. Do not let the insecurity of others bring your energy down to a level of I have to have a spare fat store for the famine years, they only want you to be as "happy" as they are. Check your BMI and if it is within acceptable norms tell them so.
My best galpal in town is an ecto/mesomorph in her body structure and has trouble keeping weight on when she is stressed. She checks her BMI and is currently taking a weight gain supplement after workouts in lowfat icecream because a recent death in her family has gotten her down and she has no appetite for the curve promoting foods. Women of all shapes and sizes can have style, grace and are beautiful, like yourself for who you are and don't be too showy about your assets with those who do not appreciate you for who you are.

Answer 8

no your dazzling that became into out of order enormous time! she's in all probability strolling around looking like demise and assume every person else to look ill additionally, i understand 10 to fifteen lbs won't make anybody look pregnant by way of no stretch of the mind's eye!! please dont permit your loopy neighbor get on your head, im happy to pay attention youve positioned on weight and your getting healthy, pleasing aint epidermis and bones!!! you pass woman!!

Answer 9

Keep a food journal and weight yourself regularly to track your progress

Answer 10

45 minute jog at a 10 minute mile pace