A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she.
2007-05-14 03:31:29 · 6 answers · asked by k9mpgsd 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
News anchor Dan Rather, the Reverend Jesse Jackson, NPR reporter Cokie Roberts, and an American Marine were hiking through the jungle one day when they are all captured by cannibals.
They are tied up, led to a village and brought before the chief. The chief said, "I am familiar with your Western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill you and eat you, do you have any last requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan so I'd like one last bowl of chili." The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it and said, "Now I can die content."
Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing 'We Shall Overcome' one last time." The chief said "Go right ahead, we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and then said "Now I can die in peace."
2007-05-14 03:32:52 · update #1
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take my tape recorder and describe the scene and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job until the end." The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "I can die happy."
The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what is your final wish?"
"Kick me in the a**." said the Marine.
"What?" said the chief, "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No. I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the a**," insisted the Marine.
So the chief shoved him into the open and kicked him in the a**. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from his waistband and shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he lept to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the cannibals with gunfire. In a flash the cannibals were dead or fleeing for their lives.
2007-05-14 03:33:07 · update #2
As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the a**?"
"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you jerks call ME the aggressor?!"
2007-05-14 03:33:17 · update #3
like it like it...star 4 u...
2007-05-14 03:36:02 · answer #1 · answered by Arraya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
made me laugh lol
2007-05-14 04:27:39 · answer #2 · answered by rebelady28379 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked those. Pretty darn funny. :))
2007-05-14 03:36:31 · answer #3 · answered by spicy_salsa69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
marines kick asz!! well, he got his kicked too. . . . you know what i mean
2007-05-14 03:59:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha ha ha lol material
2007-05-14 03:36:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol good ones :) !!!
2007-05-14 03:56:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋