Is it better to have kids early or later in life?

Question

I'm 10 years old (20 in September) and my boyfriend is 23. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and we are more than boyfriend/girlfriend we are BEST FRIENDS. We have a strong healthy relationship and we are 100% sure that we are soulmates. We have been talking about having children now at a early age so we have time to do the things we want to when we get older. We both have very good jobs and we can afford a child right now. Should we wait until we are older and go ahead and do it now?

We own our own home.
We have 2 cars.
We make $100,000+ each a year
I can take paid maternaty leave (so can he).
We will get married before the baby comes.

Is it a good idea?

Sorry!!! I'm 19. lol. (not 10.)

Answer 1

sound like it to me as long as your 19 and not 10 lol. i think you had a typo

Answer 2

I was 18 and my husband was 19 when we got married. We'll celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in June. We, too, decided to have children early so we'd still be young when they were grown. We had 3 children born when I was 20, 23, and 26. I was 38 and had been on the Pill for 11 years when we found out that I was unexpectedly pregnant! Our little surprise baby was born when her siblings were 18, 15, and 12. I am now 48 and our children are now 27 (almost 28), 25, 22, and 9. So, I have had children young and children when I was later in life. There are pros and cons to both. I strongly suggest that you get married first and then have children. Even though you have been living together and are committed to each other, the dynamics of your relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend will change when your relationship is husband/wife. Take some time to be a married couple first and then have children. Your children will have the benefit of being brought into an established marriage and you will still be young.

Answer 3

First - You Need To Edit Your Question, It Says You Are 10 Years Old...lol...Then 20 In December

Second - If You Think It's The Right Time, Then Hunny, It's The Right Time... Nobody Can Tell You Yes Or No, But Yourself...

Personally, I Think Having Kids @ A Younger Age Is Better Because You're More Energetic, You Won't Be Too Old When They Grow Up, You Can Still Relate To Some Of Their Problems When They're Older...

My Father-In-Law Is 44 and Just Had His 4th Child... He's Raising Her Alone And Is Doing Great, But Having A Hard Time Losing So Much Sleep...

Answer 4

I had my son at 30 and I think that was the best time for me. I had a chance to be an adult with the only responsibility of making sure the bills were paid and getting to work on time. Having children really changes your life and your relationship with your partner. It has been over a year since my husband and I have gone out to dinner alone without our son. Children take over your body and then they take over your life, so......no one can tell you what the right time is for you. I just think you need to decide if you want to make that commitment to another person(baby) because that it is what being a parent is. A lifetime commitment that at times will, more often than not, take precedence over the commitment you make to your partner. So.....think about it. Offer to keep some friend's kids or nieces and nephews for a weekend or a week and see what being responsible for kids is like, firsthand. It won't be the same as having a child of your own, but it may just give you a taste of what goes into caring for a child 24/7. Good luck to both of you!

Answer 5

Girl if you both "feel" your ready go for it!! A baby is an absolutely amazing experiance that you will forever love. The only reason I put feel in quotes is because I don't think anyone no matter how much planning is 100% ready for the change a baby brings them but it always works out and you just learn to do it! It's amazing how quickly you adapt to the huge change a baby brings you. Plus, if it makes you feel any better I am 19 my boyfriend is 21 we are in the same situation and just had a wonderful little boy who is now a month old...and we are doing fantastic. Plus I love being a young energetic mother! It's great!! Best of luck to you guys on whatever you decide!!!

Answer 6

My parents had me at 20 and 21, and I think they found it hard in the beginning, but I know that having a grandchild in their late 40s has been awesome for them. However, I know that they wish they were closer to retirement so that they could stay home with the baby and babysit him for us...they miss that time with him, but everyone's different in that aspect.

I had my first child at 28, and I found it to be perfect for me...I was done with school, we had our house, and we were married, which was all I wanted before having kids. Sometimes I think about missing my pre-kid life, but I'd never give up my son....it's the greatest thing in the world.

I know that often when I have patients who are older, they have done everything they've wanted, and they have their careers where they want it, but often it's a huge adjustment for them because for so long everything has been "just so" in their lives, and everyone with kids knows that "just so" doesn't really exist with kids....However, they often have more flexibility with their careers and can be more creative, working from home or going in later in the morning, etc...

I have an uncle who is 55 and adopting a baby, and will probably pay college tuitions until well after retirement, but wouldn't do it any other way.


If you have your life the way you want it to be for a child...then go for it! THere is clearly no perfect time!

Answer 7

It sounds to me like you have a very stable, healthy, happy relationship and outlook on life. Why not start now. I had 3 by the time I was 20. Granted two weren't planned but, we had a house, 2 cars, great income, etc. Now we are expecting our fourth and final child in a month or so and we are extremely happy in our choice.

Being younger has its advantages, you can relate well, you have energy, the excitment, and by the time their off to college you still have plenty of time to enjoy together. I am 24 and some people haven't even thought of planning a family yet. But everyone is entitled to their choice.

I wish you and you boyfriend well. :)

Answer 8

Hey, it's up to you! Sounds like you already have all of your ducks in a row.

For me, later was better. I liked that I had all of my twenties to develop a career, go to concerts, travel, party and hell, sleep in! I was not ready, really until later. So, I had my first at 35.

Naturally, your mileage may vary.

Good luck to you!
DN

P.S.-not to be too defensive or anything but I do want to say for the younger moms on here, when you are 40, you will still be able to roll around on the ground and lift and play with your kids. You whippersnappers seem to think that you start losing your strengtha t age 30! Well, I am here to tell you that if youa re in any kind of shape at all, you don't feel too different at 40 than you do at 20!

Answer 9

i have 2 teens and 2 toddlers


i was not ready for children with the first set, i wasn't sure who and what it was that i wanted out of life..maybe just me

i have the tots now at 37, i have a much firmer grasp on life now, but i may not live to see my grand children grow up...

children are a huge responsibility at any age...

make sure you and hubs are tired of your life as a couple cause when you have kids that part is over in a big way. enjoy your lives together all u can, then bring babies into the fold

hope this helps

Answer 10

its nice 2 have children early i think b/c u can play with them like get down and roll around the floor etc lol. not that older parents cant but ur just more agile i think. many people wait to get a career started and whatnot but if u have all of this already then go for it if u want to best of luck

Answer 11

I started at 18. No regrets. My children are happy, healthy, intelligent and well-cared for. It's what I always wanted to do.