Christians: Help me with forgiveness?

Question

I know that as a christian I am supposed to love everybody. However there is this person that repeatedly does things that really bother me. The things she does are all different so it is difficult to talk to her and ask her to stop. How do I get over my annoyance and forgive her?

Answer 1

When you feel that your emotions for her is taking away the best in you, ask for God's strenght to overcome it and pray for her. Remember God loves her too. Look at her through the eyes of Jesus. =)

Answer 2

Answer: We forgive for own health and well-being. Once we have forgiven, we can then accomplish some other things. We can find out if the person who hurt us or is annoying us is really purposely doing what they're doing toward us - is that who they really are and what they're all about? We can then start living our lives and not get caught up in the negative emotions we feel towards annoying or hurtful people. Sometimes we can help others, too, either by the example we set, or by just showing that forgiveness can work for them and is a powerful tool.

I love answering this question!!! That's because I have also struggled with the concept of forgiveness. For the longest time I commiserated with people who could not forgive. You hear the most horrible stories in the news and look at the victims and say,"How can these poor folks ever forgive those who victimized them, if I were in their shoes, I know I couldn't and I certainly could never expect them to have to forgive." But since then I've had a revelation of sorts.
I've learned that their are different degrees or levels of forgiveness. For someone like you or me, who have only to deal with someone that's annoying, or for someone who has been truly scarred, the answer and the secret to forgiveness is the same: Ultimately, we forgive for our own well being. Think about it. If we don't forgive, then we too end up hating or being paranoid or whatever. And in some cases, that can ruin your health in a lot of different ways - ulcers from worrying, or respiratory problems from not breathing correctly, or elevated heart rates. People who go around hurting others or just purposely being annoying do so because they can't get away from who they are and/or they want to bring others down to their level of whatever negative emotions they can't escape. In many cases, IT IS indeed who they are and what they are all about, they really cannot change. By realizing that they can't help doing what they do, we can have pity and compassion and forgiveness for them, and then move on with our lives. Do we want to descend into the hell that they are stuck in? No. By focusing on the forgiveness and compassion and pity and any other virtuous feelings we can muster towards them, we can also then release any negative feelings of hatred, fear, sorrow, grief, confusion, etc..., that we may have for them. By releasing these negative emotions, we prevent these emotions from consuming and overwhelming us. And we prevent the negativity from having any influence in our lives.

Fortunately, in your case, it sounds like it isn't as extreme as all this. It may just be she just doesn't know that she is annoying you, and somehow you just have to give her a few subtle hints to let her know and see if she'll stop.

Well, thanks for this question!!! Hope this helps shed some light on how you can use forgiveness in your life.

Answer 3

I am really glad that you have posted this question, because I have been going through the same circumstances for quite a while. I have been able to forgive the person for the abuse that she has handed out, but I am continuing to be annoyed and hurt. Don't confuse your feelings of pain with unforgiveness. They are two different things.

In some senses, it is impossible to truly forget sins that have been committed against us. We cannot selectively "delete" events from our memory. The Bible states that God does not "remember" our wickedness (Hebrews 8:12). God is all-knowing. God knows that occurred. However, having forgiven us, He treats us as if the sin had not occurred. God does not hold our sins against us. In that sense we must "forgive and forget." If we forgive someone, we must act as if that sin had never occurred. We remember the sin, but we live as if we did not remember it. Ephesians 4:32 tells us, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Answer 4

It seems unusual that you only have one annoying person in your life. Proverbs 12:26 - The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

You can't predict the future or make a system up that will work, especially in regards to regulating other people's behaviour.

Answer 5

By seeing it is her problem not yours. In our self we are not capable of total forgiveness. Focus on God and not your friend. Leave this friend to the hands of God

Answer 6

Forget forgiveness and judge the hell out of her!!