This isn't me but one of my bestfriends. She called me in tears because her boyfriend had taken a friend (who is a girl) of his for a meal whilst she was on holiday. He told her casually in conversation and she wishes he would have told her outright.
She has not said this to him however and is very angry.
What do you suggest she say?
2007-05-14 03:00:43 · 31 answers · asked by snapesbabe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think she should tell him she's annoyed and see what that dinner was really all about. maybe it was nothing.
2007-05-14 03:07:54 · answer #1 · answered by Sara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that she has nothing to worry about, if something has or was going to happen between her bf and the other chick he wouldnt have told her casually, also guys dont open up as well as we do sometimes casually is the only way they talk. A relationship is based on trust and she should trust him to go out with any female, if theres no trust whats the point. Give the guy a break...
2007-05-14 10:06:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest she says (in a calm way) that she was upset, but then she needs to explain WHY she was upset.
Is it because she was jealous or worried about another woman? If that was the reason then that is her problem and not her boyfriend's problem. She needs to remember that people each have their own 'rules' or ways of doing things - her boyfriend may not have thought he'd have to tell her that he was having a meal with a friend.
If she was in tears it suggests that she is worried about something, or perhaps doesn't trust him. Maybe she just needs to ask him to let her know when he does it again.
2007-05-14 10:13:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
men & women are allowed to have friends. the bloke (if he really does value his relationship with this girl) should have mentioned to her that he was taking so & so out for dinner. I'm sure they communicated while she was away. Otherwise it will seem "sneaky", but it depends on the status of the relationship also....if a new one then it's important for each person to know the boundaries. If she still wants to keep the guy (& I think she should be reasonable) she must tell him that she felt it was odd of him not to mention this outright. His reaction could tell alot!
2007-05-14 10:10:50 · answer #4 · answered by daddywozabankrobber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your friend should tell her boyfriend that he should have just told her outright... just like you said... but honestly, he did tell her. I would understand if he didnt and she had to find out from someone else. I would be pissed at my boyfriend with that but he did communicate it to her... he is just letting her know that it meant nothing by not making a big deal out of it or asking for permission. He doesnt have to run everything by her but he was being considerate and not keeping it from her. Tell your friend to grow up a little bit. He wont change.
2007-05-14 10:05:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He took her for a meal not to a brothel. Tell her to calm down males have female friends and vice versa he probably didn't tell her outright because he didnt think it was a big deal. She could ask her boyfriend to tell her if he's going out with friends because she's a worrier. My boyfriend often spends time with his female friends but they are friends so im not worried.
2007-05-14 10:07:27 · answer #6 · answered by mintycakeyfroggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's just a mate what's the problem? Sure he should have been straight but lets face it, if there was anything dodgy going on he wouldn't have owned up!
I am in a relationship and I still go out with my male mates 2 of whom I was previously involved with in a intimate way, my partner has no issues with it. Just like I have no issues when he goes out with his female mates, or ex wife!
2007-05-14 10:55:49 · answer #7 · answered by Blondie Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be angry too!!
Get him to consider her feelings by reversng it, that is what I always do.
She could say "How would you feel if (a male friend) took my out for dinner while you were away? Would you be hurt? Especially if I kept it from you and you found out?"
Thinking from the other person's point of view often puts things in perspective and makes people really think, and allows them to sympathise.
Good luck to your friend, and let's hope this guy sees sense!
2007-05-14 10:08:19 · answer #8 · answered by Kimmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should take one of her male friends for a meal, see how the boyfriend reacts. He'll know how it feels then, even if this girl was a friend, to everyone else they presumably would have looked like a couple. He should have told her outright, if he was my boyfriend i would dump him.
2007-05-18 09:21:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest she sit him down and tell him that she isnt happy about what he did and its bugging her and ask him to put himself in her position and say how he would feel.
But honeslty by the sounds of it he didnt think it would be a problem and obviously wasnt cheating because he mentioned it to her openly.
She should think about that because if he really was trying to cheat on her he wouldnt have told her and she would never have known.
2007-05-14 10:07:01 · answer #10 · answered by MichM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be this was not a planned meal.May be he was just in need
of company,his girl was away and he did't want to be alone.
He did,after all tell her.If she's going to go KuKluxkookoo
about such simple things then may be they should talk about
and examine their relationship.
2007-05-14 10:08:03 · answer #11 · answered by samsterino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋