we were doing great before. but somehow lately, i cant stand on his angry attitude. he's like always try to find my faults. at the same time i cant really tolerate with him anymore. previously, when he's mad, i'll usually tolerate and be soft. seems like i cant do that anymore. we will fight like hell even on a small matter. we were planning to get marry in 2 years time, but i just cant imagine my life if this situation remains. :(
2007-05-13 22:38:36 · 15 answers · asked by la la la 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have survived the trials for four years already. That's a big thing. I'm sure you love each other but over-familiarity gets in the way.
Both of you needs a breathing space. Space. That's just it. Don't just throw away this relationship that easy.
You said you are not sure if you still love him or not. Just hang on to this "not sure" part of it. Don't ever make a decision when you are in extreme emotions (like when you are very happy, sad, hurt or down).
Talk to him when he's cooled down. Talk about the happy times. Also talk about the bad times but focus on how you both fought it through.
You may want to suggest a vacation together so you could rekindle your love.
If you are both open to it, why not take some time off from each other. This will make both of you realize how both of you need and love each other. However, I do not highly recommend this thing seeing how tricky it can be.
So, good luck...
2007-05-13 22:54:05 · answer #1 · answered by ••Tara•• 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I say don't even think of getting married yet. Or if you plan to, get counseling together first. Thing will get worse or stay the same once you get married.
Sound like you guys need to take some alone time to communicate. Make it a date on ur calendar to talk about why he's so mad and why you never said anything before. Make a date and really be open and honest. And stop the finger pointing. When you guys have the talk, make it a rule that if a comment is made to be mean or snide and doesn't benefit the relationship, then don't say it.
Or you can separate or break up. Why stay if you are unhappy?
2007-05-14 05:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by Amy L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that person is making you feel bad...lives only to find your faults then i don't think you guys have a future together. Marriage is a huge commitment it can't last if there is no tolerance and understanding and specially if there is no love and respect for each other.
when you say you are not sure you still love him...that's already a sign that the deal is over..you are just getting along because of the time you have already given to the relationship and are reluctant to break it off because you would hurt him or things like that.
I think its time you look at the matter in detail..and not emotionally..look at facts..evaluate how you feel about him...imagine living with him 24/7 and having kids with him...is he the guy you want to be the father of your kids? is he the guy you want to bring up your kids with? does he give you love and support when you needs it?..and things like that.
give it a thought and you would have your answers.
Best of luck.
2007-05-14 05:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by comp90 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and see a psychologist or counselor! That always sorts stuff out cause this person doesnt know either one of u and will point out what u are both doing wrong. My bf and i were fighting a lot as well and i told him that if we didnt go for counselling i was going to break up with him cause i couldnt take it anymore! We went and it is working! We are much happier now cause this person helped us both see what we were doing wrong. U need an outsiders opinion. Besides u cant marry someone if you already have these problems! sort them out first and if you still wanna break up then go ahead but atleast you have tried!
2007-05-14 05:48:16 · answer #4 · answered by Stacey-Lee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People will often fight over simple things in any relationship. It has to do with not wanting to loose yourself in a relationship and we try to hang onto what is familiar, relationships change our independent familiarities. Especially after time (the honeymoon is over). If your softer response isn't working (a great idea when we notice our partner is "re-acting") I think he's overly controlling and at the least very angry. If he is not willing to recognize this or worse is completely belligerent when he is approached on the subject. Please run like hell outa there. He is more then likely has an abusive and controling personality.
2007-05-14 05:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by Joanie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk and sort yourselves out, find the reason why you fell in love in the first place. Maybe you should spend some time alone and see if you miss him! Think about if you love him or not, it could be that you are just used to having him around or maybe its a case of seeing what was there all along for what it really is, they say love is blind but maybe you still do love him but you are just seeing how he really is. if you dont like it then it wont change!
2007-05-14 05:46:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it seems to be attitude problem with him. I would recommend to work it out with him about his behavior and ask him to change it. Most men are like that and the chances that a new hook up will also be the same after a while. But if he is really very bad and could not change you can obviously dump him because you don want to get yourself hurt emotionally or physically.
2007-05-14 05:47:27 · answer #7 · answered by kalyan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just said that you are not sure if you still love him. That leads me to think that you don't love him anymore. If you fight like this now, I don't think it will get any better. You only have 2 options, breaking up or counseling. Since he has anger issues, I'd really consider breaking up. If he really loves you, then after you dump him, he would consider the counseling to get you back.
2007-05-14 05:44:42 · answer #8 · answered by ..... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eliminate mercilessly the problems of your life and not people. Adopt a positive attitude towards relationships.
When we have misunderstandings with father, mother brother, sister, we do not think of replacing them with new ones, right ?
Then, why can't we work on this 4 year relationship, tell him that you don't like his anger and he would change it, B +ve
2007-05-14 05:44:13 · answer #9 · answered by Goldman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counselling because you will not survive married if you can't get over the fights. You need to work out your problems.
2007-05-14 05:41:32 · answer #10 · answered by Notherenow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋