Why do you Discard your Parents when they are old?

Question

Does it sound Cruel!

But the actual fact is every 8 in every 10 Household neglect their parents when they reach 80+.
When they are full of illness and full of problems

i would consider the following form of action "discard":
Put them in the old folks home.
Push responsibilty among siblings.
Visit Them less than 5 times a year.

The common excuse are for discard:
My house is too small for them to come and stay.
Both me and my Husband/Wife are working.
We are facing Financial Difficulty
We have Kids to take care
Many more....

Can you guys pls contribute "WHY & WHAT" have circumstances made you so "choiceless" that you have to discard your own parents?

Dont you remember how they sacrifice everything to take care of you when you are sick when you are a kid!

Answer 1

Both my parent and parents in -laws are in their late 70's. Both still live in their own homes, live their own lives, and spend their own money.
Would I look after them? I have. When my father in law had a stroke, the mother in law came to stay. She lived too far from the hospital to visit (over 100 km) lives in the country and doesn't drive. So she lived with us while Dad was first hospitalized and then sent to re-hab. For months she stayed with us. She said sorry for being a burden, and I said this is just what families do, we look after each other.
Sadly two months after Dad got out of re-hab, Mum broke her hip. Dad came to live with us, so he could visit her each day. She spent months in hospital, but did get back on her feet, and, when well enough, they moved back home together. So would I look after them? Yes. That's what family do, we look after each other .
But it is interesting to note that my parents have already chosen where they want to be when unable to look after themselves, and its not with us kids, even though that was is an option. They are planning to move into a retirement village (which also has a hostel) and its their choice. Mum already volunteers as a helper there and wants to go there, because she likes the staff, the buildings and that they will let them be as independent as the choose.

Answer 2

I was going to say it's probably because they're old.

Also, however, many of the elderly aren't seen as having much to contribute now nor in the future, and in an almost corporate sense, are seen as expendable or a necessary financial burden unlike the future investment one has in their child, at least that's how I see America as being toward their old peeps.

With Baby Boomers coming into power, a huge generation of quasi-radical thinkers had grown up in spite of their parents' objections and thusly may feel like those same parents are especially out-of-touch now (as the Boomers themselves are losing touch, the grandparents are just WAY out there, clearly) and are beyond useless, even detrimental to them and their children unless kept at a distance. Another possibility.

One thing to remember is modern societal developments in a more positive light as well. Many times, the elderly may not have been treated round-the-clock even if some great psychological disorder or disease was evident in the past, where in a facility they now can be. My grandmother for instance, is able to get the care she needs, the medicine she needs, etc. at certain intervals even if she forgets because there are people trained and adept at making sure she is upright and active. Some of these "old folks homes" do a lot better job of taking care of our parents and grandparents than we may do with our kids.

Answer 3

i will nevr want to do that in my life.. I know how much troubles i have given my parents and how much they have gone through to support me all these years...
Even if i cannot support them financially, i make sure i be there for them all the time. Even a $100 dollars counts.. If all the parents were to neglect their kids when they were young.. What will happen to the World?? I jst don't understand how they choose not to think all these when they have a family and their parents are old..
For a second, without their parents can the kids step on the world?? Never...
Hope the youngersters who are turning to adults now will nevr be like these...( Children have to understand that their parents becames like kids when they are old)...
(i will never be forgiven by GOD if i were to do this to my parents, thats for sure!)

Answer 4

I took care of my parents as best I could. My father passed away while he lived with me. I took care of my Mother until I was no longer able to give her the care she needed. Yes she went into a nursing home but we did not discard her. My family and I made sure she had company everyday. Dont judge someone who has to make the choice of having to put a parent in a nursing home. She needed the medical care and she knew and understood it was the best thing to do.

Answer 5

First of all, your assumption that they are "discarded" is not necessarily correct. Old people will get far better medical care in an old folks home than they will living at home with their kids. Also, aging parents get exactly the relationship with their kids that they deserve. Those parents that were cold, distant, and loveless when their kids were little will get kids who are cold, distant, and loveless when mom & dad are old. You sow the wind and reap the whirlwind.

Answer 6

Yes it is cruel!!!!

It is because they become part of the NEW family that the old one is not important to them anymore.... that's bull the one you were born into should always stay the number one family to you in fact the new one should become part of your family and visa versa.
In SA the black people never ever throw the old people in old age homes, they take them in and look after them until death do them part and that is how the whole world should be

Answer 7

The answer "why & what" is no matter how hardships their parents bring up their kids, but to please their parter they will discard their parents bzc they have no choice, actually they not bear to do that,but life is such,their parter said :i love you "is better then their parents said "i need you" hopefully everyone able to chose a kind parter n love their parents .so said bye bye to old folks home,and stay happily under one root,with no regret in life.

Answer 8

discard is such a harsh word that i would never use for my parents..

i will never ever discard my parents.. they are taking care of me their whole life so why will i do that to them..

they do everything to support all my needds may it be financial or emotional and thats what i will give them as well..

when they become old.. i believe that its the time when their children will take their part..

Answer 9

I support your question and noble thought and hopefully you will do all this. In reality that is what is happening in the world, it is a sad thing, but if everyone think and able to keep their parents the world will be a better place....cheers.

Answer 10

I WILL NEVER DO THAT!!