im 22 and my parents are against me dating. ive been with a wonderful man for over a year and things are great. I've met his parents and they love me. I am very focused and plan to go to graduate school after i take a year off to work. My bf is planning on going to law school and has a very good job at the moment. I know my parents will disapprove. Even if i brought home bill gates they dont want me dating at all. Im so scared to tell them but i think its gone on far enough. My dad dated while in school and my mom got married when she was 23 but they wont let me date. I hate the fact that they are so strict and unrealistic. I am completely dependant on them until i find a job to live on my own...should i tell them and risk not seeing my long distance bf for a WHILE or not tell them and keep hiding it. The only reason im contemplating telling them is that my graduation is nearing and my family as well as my bf will be there. I dont want there to be an awkward situation. What should i do
2007-05-13 20:30:49 · 26 answers · asked by lovesickprincess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
YOU need to talk to them hun. My friend is chinese and her parents were liek that. She just talked to them, and told then how she felt. Do should you.
2007-05-13 20:33:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 22 years old? What you need to do is stand up for yourself. You are an adult, and just because you are dependant on them does not give them the right to run your entire life. Tell them how it is, and if they have a huge problem with it, I suggest you get a job and support yourself. It's hard but if I can do it, I swear anyone can...
Stop saying "they won't let me date" You are 22 years old. They have no say at all over what you can and cannot do. Show some backbone, girl. They will always try to walk all over you like that if you keep showing them that it's acceptable to do so. Sometimes you just have to piss your parents off, and there is no way around it.
2007-05-21 20:34:49 · answer #2 · answered by Brittnee S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The longer you wait to tell them the worse it's going to be. The fact is you are an adult and they have no right to dictate how you live your life. At the same time, since you are an adult you have to stand up and take charge of your life.
What I would suggest is that you sit down and talk with your parents and just tell them straight up that you have been dating someone for over a year and he will be coming to your graduation. Don't ask them for their permission and don't leave the subject open for debate. Avoid getting into any discussion about what they did and at what age. If they talk about you being irresponsible you can simply bring up your performance in school while you've been dating.
You may even be surprised by their response. It may turn out they are delighted to hear you've met someone or at least respect your desire to control your own life.
Of course there is always the possibility there could be some negative backlash such as the "not while you live under the roof of my house" threat. But if this happens, you simply have to decide if you are going to stand up for yourself or allow your parents to rule your life.
2007-05-14 03:43:53 · answer #3 · answered by Justin H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The last piece of info was most important. You are near graduation. You soon will be leaving your house. You are a dependent grown woman who handles her own for the most part. It is time to tell them. If they dont like it, tough. You cannot live their life. You have to live your own. If they are so anal thaty they will kick you out or something then what kind of parents are they. Its not like you are irresponsible or something. At 22 its time to stand up for yourself. They only have a much power as you give them.Truth be told, it is a real sign that you should get a job asap and move out because they are old fashioned and probably unwilling to change. Best of luck. Read my source. It might give you hope.
2007-05-21 23:34:58 · answer #4 · answered by Wheres the Rum Gone? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I am 22 as well and I understand your frustration. You definitely need to talk to your parents. Talk calmly and openly- try not to get mad or yell or anything. I am sure that you parents just want the best for you, even though they are definitely being too strict. Although, my Mom understands that now I am older, I will date who I want to she still doesn't think anyone, even Bill Gates, is good enough for me. If they can't understand and compromise with you, then maybe you should try to get a job and move out as soon as you can. Hope everything works out for you!
2007-05-22 02:54:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, what a difficult situation. you're an adult...what can they do to you, lock you in your room? or are they so controlling that they will take away everything they've ever given you, lock you out of the house, etc. is this a cultural thing? the only way to become independent, is to pay your own way, live in your own house, and live by your own rules. i'm thinking you'd better tell them about the b/f soon, since he's going to be at graduation. maybe they will be more understanding since you've stated it's a long-distance relationship?? very best of luck to you.
2007-05-14 03:39:31 · answer #6 · answered by pirate00girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not hide it any longer.. as you say, you are an adult. Tell them, and live with the consequences. If you are adult about the relationship, and tell them the same, they can accept it, or tell you no... If the answer is no, then you need to move, get a job, and get a life on your own to prove that you are serious about being adult, and the relationship as well.. Tell them honestly, they will ***** and moan, but will probably accept it since you are 22 for gods sake!
2007-05-14 03:36:26 · answer #7 · answered by R. W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up. You are an adult. You are free to do what you want. If they still dictate your life at 22, that is ridiculous. Move out if you have to. Tell them, see how they react, if they overreact, move out. Seriously. That is not healthy to not want their daughter happy at 22. You are 22 not 12, you don't have to hide anything even if you think they are going to freak out. You should be truthful with them as well and if they disapprove find elsewhere to live. I moved out when I was 18 and boy was I super happy.
2007-05-14 03:34:54 · answer #8 · answered by Melanie P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm having a hard time with the fact you want your cake and eat it too...here you are "completely dependent" on your parents at 22 years of age...but you are upset they feel it is okay to still act like parents, and let you know what they feel is in your best interest.
Pick who you want to be, their child or an independent adult, and do the corresponding thing about your boyfriend.
2007-05-14 03:40:25 · answer #9 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are treating you like a child because you live and act like a child. Grown-ups are not completely dependent on their parents and they do not sneak around to date. You should stop seeing the boyfriend, get a real job and a place to live. After doing this, if he still wants you in his life, resume the relationship and introduce him to your family. If you cannot do these things, you aren't ready to date and your parents are right to forbid it.
Good luck hon.
2007-05-22 01:08:20 · answer #10 · answered by dana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents just want the best for you. They want you to finish your schooling first before you worry about dating. This doesn't mean they are right. It means they are being overly protective. If you have done all they asked and made the right decisions up to this point they should cut you some slack and let you date. Inform them you respect them but you are a adult and make those decisions for yourself now.
2007-05-14 03:43:52 · answer #11 · answered by Matthew c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋