im 21 and i have very protective parents. they don't want to let me move out till i graduate college , get a job as an architect and get a good car. my sister is 28 and still lives at home. she is successful but i dont want to be here longer. i think they want me to be like her but i need my freedom. its like im still a child because i still have to ask permission to do everything. i want to move out w/ 2 other girls. the place is 850 all together w/ 3 bedrooms. i only make 650 a month...do u think i should do it? i know i could make it work and i realize i wouldn't have money to just waste but my parents WONT LET ME. im over 18 but they dont care. they will NOT let me leave. what do i do? how do i make them see that i need to do things on my own? any advice please!!
2007-05-13 20:07:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
oh.. and no i know that 650 isn't a lot of money. i do get more than half of my tuition paid for so i would only have to pay about $1500 a semester out of pocket. also, i get benefits from work and a free class each semester which means i only have to pay about 900 for school. one major bad thing is i dont have a car. but my friend (hopefully future roomate) has every class with me and doesn't mind car pooling as long as i help a bit with gas. also, i know how to ride the bus :) . my parents use the issue of money against me but im responsible and know i can do it. im a good person. no drugs, kids, great grades...ive never gone against them before and its sad to think id be dissapointing them. 3 years left of school and i dont think i can take living here. we have began to fight about little things and its getting annoying! plus other family visits CONSTANTLY. i need my space. and my freedom....help??
2007-05-13 20:30:51 · update #1
Legally you are an adult so just move out. It may cause a rift between you and your parents but it wont last long. Just make good decisions finish school and pay your bills. Show them that you are the responsible adult they raised and all will be well.
2007-05-13 20:14:17 · answer #1 · answered by Andrea 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This brings a tear to my eye, but I think that you should *go for it*.
Every little eaglet has to leave the nest sometime, and they don't necessarily leave in order.
You're old enough to start your life as you see it, or at least to test the waters with your toe as it seems you really want to do.
Sure, by all means, do it, or you'll always hate yourself if you don't try it.
So the worst that can happen is you three girls break up and you move back home. And your parents will quickly understand, especially if you're still in the same area code. Heck, I bet you could even get your parents to kick in a few bucks month for the telephone. And maybe auto insurance.
What's most important is that you finish college. If you can't do that then move back home.
Only one word of caution, just be sure that you're with two other reasonably responsible girls, and for pete's sake, make some group RULES about cleaning (and especially boys!) and such, and stick by them.
Your parents still like you living at home, you and your sister were probably raised to take good care of a home. This quality will probably follow you into the shared-apartment world as well. There's no real reason to severly lower your standards, even a small place can be kept neat and clean.
Good luck!
2007-05-13 20:20:00 · answer #2 · answered by Radzewicz 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont ever hear why purchase the cow if the milk is at no fee till you would be relaxed for 10 15 years being a woman pal then a better half then do it maximum relationships dont very final whilst its a bf gf residing formerly than a significant dedication aka marrage and its not worth putting mom an dad threw it and can now not talk over with them as quickly as greater if in 2 years you harm up with this guy and now you have not have been given any mom dad or bf
2016-10-05 01:09:55 · answer #3 · answered by durrell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that you get part of your tuition paid for. Who pays it? If it is your parents, then you can kiss it goodbye if you leave. But it sounds like you need to make a break for it! They really can't stop you from leaving, but they can stop you from taking anything from their home. How is it that you have 3 years left of school at age 21? Are you going part time? Can you find a better paying job that will help with tuition?
I think you are afraid of becoming your sister. And maybe the decisions they've seen you make scare them into wanting to keep you safe and at home. But they are your decisions to make, as long as only you are the one who pays for the poor ones! Good luck- it is tough to go it alone!
2007-05-21 18:26:47 · answer #4 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as a parent of 11 i have a daughter that graduates high school in a month i do not plan to try to stop her from moving out i wish her the best i have faith she will succeed you are 21 that surely means you are a Adult ,age wise so come on be a adult act like one move out let them know you love them and thank them for all they have done but let them know you need to be on your own and start living your life they are just trying to help you but i feel they still want to control you its time for them to let go i wish you the best i hope you give it a go and live life to the fullest
2007-05-13 20:17:58 · answer #5 · answered by rick k 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Finish school--that is your priority---then you can get a job that pays enough to get a place and a car----you are focused on the wrong thing---and you think 650 is good money??? Not if one of those girls moves out---then you have to pay more--or move back in. Reduce the stress and appreciate the family generosity--so what if you need to ask----just remain on good terms and finish school. The rest will happen naturally.I think you are lucky to have the help when you need it the most. relax, smile and good luck to you.
2007-05-13 20:16:47 · answer #6 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're 21, you can move. Just get a truck, some friends, and go. They'll get over it. More kids should be like you. What's with your sister?
By the way.... never, never, live with your best friends.
2007-05-21 15:56:45 · answer #7 · answered by lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard one
If you move and you have to work a lot to pay the rent, you are jeopardizing your future.
And living with roomates can be as hard as living with you parents
But you are suffocating...
You could try to negociate what is the more important to you with your parents
You could
a) speak alone to your parent that will the most likely to listen to you
b) try to have someone intercede for you (aunt,sister...)
c) if you get along with your sister, ask her how she is dealing with it
d) hang in there until you get your diploma
You could try to understand better what your parent's fears are, so you can negotiate better with them
Good luck
2007-05-13 20:16:57 · answer #8 · answered by annelle 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
not to sound like a smart *** but um you are over 18 just leave...what are they going to do tie you down? call the police? if they love you and are as protective as you say they wont stop talking to you and will be there if you get stuck!!!
2007-05-21 14:38:24 · answer #9 · answered by n&z-mama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No way ! Just endure your parent's a little while longer. Are have you thoght about moving on campus just to have a little more freedom ?
2007-05-21 09:42:32 · answer #10 · answered by Tivas Tivas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋