My bf is married had just got a child...?

Question

we are working in the same company,.. he was just a collegue then, and before he got married, we were just friends. anyhow, the marriage was an arranged one, she is his cousin,.. they belong to the Muslim community, (from Jordan exactly) and it is a tradition to them. we keep on hanging together because we are working in the same environment, and eventually fall in love with each other. i know for sure that he loves me. the problem is his wife just give birth, and now he is in jordan,.. i thought i could accept it wholeheartedly but i am hurting. he already proposed marriage to me, since he can marry 4x, but my family can't accpet the fact that i'll be just the second wife, and as a catholic, they don't want me to embrace the Muslim faith. we love each other so much, but i am torn. help me please.

Answer 1

He is more about his relgion than you apparently,so my advice is to find someone who thinks for himself and not lets others tell him how to live. Other wise he would dump her and stay here with you.

Answer 2

This is difficult. There is a lot of error here, and quite frankly, it is a sin because its adultury and there is a child involved. However though, it will work out if it's meant to be. Chances are though if it was, he'll lose his child and family if he chooses you because in the Muslim faith, marriage and children are very sacred to them. Yet, you will lose him if he decides to stay in Jordan. You will lose your family too if you go with him, or they'll eventually accept it in time. If things don't go as you hoped for, than you'll have to get over it and move on because there is really nothing you can do. Love can be so deceieving, but good luck.

EDIT:Reading everyone's answers, I think it's best to dump him and find another man who will truly love and appreciate you.

Answer 3

Hi, how old are you? You're contemplating committing yourself to an enormously difficult situation and setting yourself up for a huge fall. In this situation, you'll never be put first. Trust me, your family loves you more than anyone ever will and they'll be there for you to put the pieces of your broken heart together. If you're torn now, it's only the beginning. He has an entirely different country, culture, family and belief system. Stop this now before you spend the next 15 years trying to get over him and losing any chance of meeting someone who can and will put you first and only.

Answer 4

Well, that question didn't go where I expected it to. Different cultures have different standards. If you are willing to relinquish your cultural standards, those of your Catholic family to embrace his out of your love for him, by all means DO. I think, however, the difficulty you will have is respecting the position of the first wife and may even have a hard time with the liberties allowed the men of the Muslim culture that aren't equal to the freedoms allowed their women. Careful consideration must be given to all the aspects of such a life changing decision. Best of Luck to you, to him and to his first wife and child.

Answer 5

Don't be a dummy! Ditch that dope ASAP!

If he cheats on one wife, he will cheat on two wives.

Furthermore, polygamy is against the law in the USA. And if you want to go to Jordan as a second, non-Muslim wife, just go ahead and cut your own throat so your family can attend the funeral here in the states. And it will probably be less painful than the indignities you'd suffer at the hands of his family and other wife before they manage to kill you.

Answer 6

RUN!!!!!!!! you do not want someone else man, a triangle doesn't roll you will not want to be second, listen to your family this time they are right .

Answer 7

Take this from someone who knows it all to well... STAY THE **** AWAY AND MOVE ON FAST!