Is this the end?

Question

My husband and I do nothing but fight. He doesn't respect me, he just talks to me like ****. I get upset and say things I shouldn't, but he just says whatever he wants, whenever he wants and doesn't even care if he hurts my feelings. We have an almost eight month old son, and I'm a SAHM. Our son is going through a stage where he really gets upset if we put him down (please, no parenting advice) and I'm having a bit of a hard time keeping everything around the house caught up. He was yelling at me tonight that I need to get off my *** (my son was asleep on me) and "do my job" He sleeps all day because he works third shift and I never ask him for a bit of help other than to get the baby up and change him in the morning. That's it. He never talks to me, he talks to waitresses more than he does me in a weeks time, he barely kisses me, never hugs me or gets annoyed when I hug him, we never go anywhere unless he bitches about it. He just wants to do his thing. I'm so over it. I just want

him to appreciate me. I love him, but I just don't feel the same about him anymore, and I'm assuming he doesn't feel the same about me judging by the way he talks to me. Not a single day goes by that he doesn't tell me to shut my damn mouth and quit bitching, and this could be about a simple statement I've made like him not putting his clothes in the hamper. What wife doesn't say stuff like that?! I just want to get along and be a happy family, but he has no interest in doing stuff with me. We don't even have sex anymore. We have once in the last three months. Please tell me what I need to do to fix this? I'm ready to just give up.

Just a note.. we've been to counseling, it just made things worse. I've talked to him and pretty much been ignored every time. I've told him that I'm going to leave or that he should and he threatens to take our son. I've tried everything I know of.. I just feel like he hates me.

Answer 1

I think he sounds very abusive. I don't know what your financial resources are, but your son will suffer growing up in a situation like that. In addition, having an eight month old son is a full-time job. You are working hard and if your husband doesn't know that it's because he has little understanding of what it takes to be a good parent. The house is going to be messy. Things are going to be undone. If a little person grows up with parents who don't show love to each other, he'll never be able to become a full adult. He has to be able to see an example of a loving relationship.

Answer 2

Im so sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time in your marriage. It sounds pretty bad... and if you have tried counseling already and didn't work, then I think this marriage is over. Where there is no respect, there is NOTHING! Dont listen to his threats about taking your son. A child is usually always better off with the mother, and Im certain you will keep your son.

Life is short sweety, and you deserve to make it a happy one. You deserve better! There are a lot of good guys out there that are looking for a good woman. So leave that trash of a husband you have, and get out there and be happy!!

Good luck...and be strong.

Answer 3

What he is doing, is Mentally and Emotionally abusing you.
Hopefully he hasn't hit you or the baby, if he has then it's time to get OUT, no matter how much you love him.
Yes, babies cry when they get put down, its a separation anxiety they go thru even tho you can be right there next to them. eventually they grow out of it.
Also, babies get upset when the mother gets upset, they can sense this even tho they are babies.
Which I'm sure adds to your husbands anger.
Have you asked him.....Do you love me? If so, why do you act the way you do?...Don't say it in a mean or snotty voice, because you won't get an answer, he'll just *****.
LOVE is not treating you the way he IS treating you.
I wonder if his father treated his mother the same way?
And if he treated his mother the same way.
You might want to talk to them if you can.
IF they have any influence on him, it might help.
Good Luck and Happy Mothers Day.

Answer 4

Well, you are asking for this advise therefore I'll spell it out for you. Whether you take the advise or not, it's totally on you.

I've been married for 27 years. My husband and I are best freinds but when our children were young and I gave too much attention to them and not to my husband, he became quite jealous of our child. Being that I knew the entailment of husband, child, me, I soon put my child down to spend time with my husband. We just had our eigth child 18 months ago and I tell you, it was getting pretty rough because she would only sleep fifteen minutes at a time and wanted to eat all the time. I had to let her cry. I knew she was fed and dry so I let her cry and she eventually learend to play by herself and sleep longer periods of time without me holding her. That only happend to our first son and our last daughter.

With that said, if you want to save your marriage or if there is any chance left in the marriage take my advice.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Sometimes you have to get rid of the things that hurt you in life and just let go. At first it will be a struggle and depressing but with a little encouragement you'll get through. There's no point trying to fix something that isn't working.

Answer 6

i know this isnt what you want to hear, but he is borderline abusive, i think you should leave him personally, he isnt trying, and as for your son, he most likely cant take him from you, the court in mast cases vote for the mother, especially if the man is verbally abusive

if al else fails, try a trial seperation, give him some room to breath, theyres nothing wrong with you, its him, maybe hes jealous of the baby? if it dosnt stop leave him, but try to talk to him, andif that fails make yourself heard, shut of the power so he cant watch tv or ignore you, bring your son in the room and hold him, he wont yell at you or hurt your sont to get to you, do somthing to make him listen....you may just ahve to move on, i know it hurts, but i do wish you best of luck

Answer 7

Don't wait until he hits you to go to a women's shelter. Take your son with you. This will do one of two things. Either he will wake up to what he is doing and work with a marriage counselor, or you will have a head start on getting a new life.

Answer 8

Time to get a lawyer. Your husband is abusing
you and you don't have to take it. There no
way in hell he can take your baby from you.
Go to a lawyer, explain the situation and he/she
will tell you what to do. May be you should try
a legal separation first(lawyer will advise you
on that). If that will not bring your stupid hubby
to his senses, than it's Splits ville. Do not take
any abuse from him or anybody.It's not good
for your baby to see his mother to be treated
like that. And how you can love him if he is
treating you like dirt. The way you describe
it, to me it looks like he is cheating on you.
Get angry girl and kick him to the curb.
Good luck!!!

Answer 9

Oh my...I'm really sorry to hear that. :( but girl, you just gotta keep strong and focus on your son more. If he isn't going to help you raise your son than you're just gonna have to be an independent woman! There's no use in reasoning with him and I suggest that you block him out until he is ready to work things out. Be strong! God bless :)

Answer 10

one advice why the f*** did you marry him and why did you have a child with him if he hates you why are you whit him

just like they say there's plenty more fish in the sea if you know what i mean


girl stop suffering you don't differ live that way enjoy life you don't need men like that put him to childsoport

and be happy with you son find someone else that will love you

sincerely,Jocelyn