it wasint what i expected?

Question

i lost my virginity tonight, and it wasint what i expected. i thought that it would make me feel better about myself, sense all my friends are doing it and they told me i should. now i feel guilty as hell and i dont know why? i feel like i let my parents down, like i ignored everything they told me. they trusted me and i did this behind their back. just to fit in. help what should i do, what can i do to feel better? i just wish i could turn back time! if i just new then what i know now. that i would lose something so sacred forever, my innocence.


ps: i can't tell my parents they will be heartbroken. plus they won't trust me any more.

Answer 1

Just take it as a lesson learned and move on with your life. Next time don't be so quick to do things because your friends are doing them. Do not come down on your self because that is not going to help. Just realize now that you are going to be better off listening to your parents rather than trying to impress others. Hold your head high knowing that you have learned a lesson from this and will not let this happen again until you are ready.

Answer 2

A lot of girls feel this way after their first sexual experience. I think this is why parents ask their children to wait. Television makes it seem like sex is so great, and it can be something beautiful between two people who love on another, but it is that love that really makes it special not the sex....and no that is not just some line. It is really true.

You cannot turn back time, but you can keep moving forward. Now you know what it is like. Your curiousity is resolved. So you move forward from here, and you be really responsible about it.

1. I hope you had safer sex. This is always the most important thing, because there are lot worse things than pregnancy that can happen to you, like HIV. No method of protection is 100 percent safe, so it is important that all your partners are tested and that you have regular check ups, and find reliable methods of protection. See a doctor for advice on all of this.

2. Not having sex at all is what is safest from disease and a pregnancy you are not ready for....just because you slipped up this once does not mean you ever have to do this again until you are for sure ready.

3. A guy who really loves you will wait for you to be ready. He will until you are both in a place where you can really make good choices about the issues outlined in number 1. I always tell my boys, if you are not ready to have a baby, and financially able to support it, then do not have sex. There are thousands of sperm in one release and it only takes one to make a baby. Those are way better odds than the lottery.

I hope this does not sound like a lecture. I just want you to be okay. Get over beating yourself up about this, because you cannot take your actions back, but you can decide how you will move forward. Stop having sex now. And chalk this up to a hard lesson in the sisterhood. If we women really supported each other the way we should be supporting one another in this world we would be honest about the fact that sex is not all that great when it is not with someone we love and want to be with forever.

Love yourself enough to wait until you really find the person you love and want to be with for a really long time. And if and when you are ready talk with your mom about this....she might just understand more than you realize....she was a girl your age once too.

Answer 3

Everyone makes mistakes. Just remember that the next time you give that much of yourself, you should be sure that you care deeply for that person and that they feel the same way about you.. Making love is one of the most beautiful experiences in life. Having sex is a totally different thing.

You are feeling guilty because you lost your virginity for the wrong reason. Don't worry, you are not the first girl to make that mistake. There have been plenty before you, and there will be plenty after you. Just take your time and make a better decision next time. Don't beat yourself up about it. You can't change things now, just move on.

Answer 4

Been There. Done That.
The truth is you can't turn back time. You can't change what happened.
You made a choice, decided it was a mistake, and have (hopefully) learned from it.
Confess to yourself, and realize, that you will probably never be able to tell your parents.
This is a great time to take control of your life and decide that this is not something you want to continue to be involved in.

I am sorry you had to 'learn' this way - it sucks.

I hope you used proper protection and if you did not you can always get the 'Plan B' pill at any local pharmacy without a prescription if you are over 16years of age. If you did not use proper protection you will also want to be sure that you go to a Planned Parenthood (totally confidential) and be tested for any STD's.

Answer 5

if ur friends told u that u should, then they arent true friends...
the night i lost my virginity, i went strait home and told my parents cause i felt so guilty for letting them down cause i promised them i would wait until i was married. trust me, i wished i could turn back time too, i still wish i could. but everyone makes mistakes that they will always regret. there isnt really anything u can do to make ur self feel better, but i would go get tested to make sure u dont have anything. go get some ice cream and relax and watch a movie. think about what u did, and whether u should tell ur parents. if i were u, i would tell my parents, that way they know that u feel confortable and that u can tell them anything. and u wouldnt have to keep lieing to them about being a virgin... just tell them

Answer 6

You weren't ready for sex- plain and simple. I can remember being in your position. I was 17 when I lost my virginity- and I did it because my best friend started having sex w/ her boyfriend. I'd been seeing the guy for a few weeks- he wasn't even that serious about me. He'd been with several girls before me. I was so desperate to do what my friends were doing. It wasn't romantic at all- we were at his house and his mom wasn't home. I told him I wanted to have sex- it was over before I knew it and afterwards he just got up and started watching TV. I felt horrible. I've changed alot since then, but I still regret the decisions I made when I was a teenager. I know you're hurting right now, but just give yourself some time. Pray- it works wonders. Give yourself some time to heal, then try to use this a learning experience.

Answer 7

Well some things in life you cannot reverse but it prepare you for other difficult decisions. You realised that you did something that you were not really prepared for at this stage in your life.Don't beat yourself up about it. In future when other difficult questions comes up or peer pressure tries to make you do things that you know your parents will not to happy about,step back mentally for a few moments and say "I am a individual that is in control off my destiny and not a sheep that follows the herd." I'm sure one day under the right circumstances you will enjoy sex. For now be a leader,not a mindless follower.

Answer 8

I probably don't even want to know how old you are but I will tell you that through out life we all make mistakes. The purpose of this is to learn and grow. Most of us have made similar mistakes but this doesn't make you less beautiful or innocent. You have to forgive yourself, learn from this and apply what you have learned in the future. You are not "bad" for having sex. Most parents are hypocrites when it comes to this topic. They tell us things like "wait until you are married" when they didn't wait themselves. The reason they tell us this is because they know from their own past that you will get hurt if you make the same mistake that they did and this is exactly what happened to you. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. God isn't mad at you! I understand that you can't tell your parents but perhaps there is another adult you could discuss this with confidentially. Your friends are not mature enough to help you get through this grieving period that you are going through. Please try to find a counselor that you can speak with. You are not alone and you're definitely not the only one that has/is going through this. I am really sorry you are going through this and I'm sorry you are alone right now at this moment.


Please people! She has not "lost her innocence" She is a child! Children are innocent. She does not need to pray to god for forgiveness!!! Many/most people have sex before they are married. Who are you to judge?

Answer 9

Sex without love is overrated. Sex can be the closest physical thing to experiencing heaven on earth, with the right person at the right time. Obviously, it wasn't.
I hope you used protection. Don't let friends talk you into doing something you don't want to do.
Talk to a trusted adult, whose opinions you respect, and who won't 'rat' you out to your parents. You feel guilty because you ignored your best judgement, and it will take a while to get over that.
I would also like you to read your Bible/Torah/Koran, and study what it says about forgiveness - and apply it to yourself.
Wait until you are ready to commit yourself to someone, for a lifetime.

Answer 10

First, you must realize that you don't have to fit in to feel good about yourself. You must feel good about yourself because of who you are inside and not what others expect you to be.

Well, now you've lost your innocence. Sooner or later, your parents will figure it out because you will not have that look in your eyes that parents sees. I know for me, I saw it in the eyes of my child a month or so after he had his first experience. He was sixteen and I could look in his eyes and tell that something was missing.

In any event. When you have sex at a young age, and your parents have instilled in you values and you go against this, it never is a good feeling, despite how much you liked the boy.

Since you cannot go back and turn the hands of time and regain your virginity back, you have to ask for forgiveness within yourself and heal from this so when you are a much older woman and you make love to your husband, you have no resentments and you feel the feeling that comes with being intimate with your husband.