Is it necessary to tell men you are dating about your past relationships?

Question

If they ask, how much informtaion should you give them? Should you give them details about your past sexual life?

If you are not sleeping with him and never intend to sleep with him, do you still have to tell.

Answer 1

NO, NO, and NO !!! It is only necessary to tell a man what you are comfortable telling. Jeez... you are your own person, not his property!! If the man you are seeing can't respect your personal boundaries and privacy then you need to toss his rude self to the curb and find a better man!

Answer 2

No and No. I have dated a lot of girls and had some nice long term relationships...in one now, but I personally don't want to hear about my girl's past conquests, dates or sexual experiences. If/when she starts asking me, I change the subject...or I will say something like," sure I dated a lot of girls, but none as nice and cute as you!" It seems to me, that if your guy is asking you questions about your past love life, he is really asking for reasssurance from you that you like him as well as others you've dated. Whether true or not, your answer should be, "you are the best I've ever had". If it is true, great; if it isn't, a "white lie" is in order. Otherwise, sharing the details with him is going to put him in a situation where he starts comparing himself to your past boyfriends. He will probably become more insecure and maybe even start acting jealous when you are around other guys. You sure don't want that! The key to a good relationship is "trust" ; leave the past where it is--in the past. Concentrate on the here and the now, and get your boyfriend to do the same. (If he insists about knowing every detail of every past date and boyfriend you've had, time for a new boyfriend). If he really wants to win your heart, let him "woo you" , but enough with the questions from the past! You deserve more and better! Take care.

Answer 3

Hello my Dear, I am a retired pensioner and live in Australia in the country. I have learnt a few things along the road of life and may be able to help you with your question. The short answer is no. Until your relationship develops into a strong love affair, you need not tell him anything and if he asks tell hin that you may tell him about your past when you think the time is right. If a man really loves a woman, he does not care about her past and is only interested in the future. If you were making plans to marry then that would be different. Before marriage, it is best that your partner knows all about you and you about him so that before you make the big decision to marry - and it is a very big decision - that you go into it in the full knowledge of each others experiences. If a marriage is to be successful, you need to both have complete trust in each other. I see an old couple who sit in front of me in Church who still hold hands. They are well into their 80's. I hope you find love like this, it can be a most beautiful thing. Be careful in your choice of man. I picked the wrong woman and suffered divorce after 21 years of marriage. It is a most hurtful experience and if you take the time to consider what you both want out of life it will be time well spent. I hope you find real true love my dear - Grandpa

Answer 4

In general, I think a good question to ask yourself on this issue is this: how much of THEIR past sex lives do you expect THEM to share with YOU?

If you expect them to tell you just how many partners they've had in general, then you shouldn't feel it necessary to give out any more information than that in return. However, if you expect them to go in more detail, such as names of past lovers, then you should ought to be willing to share the same info.

One thing that I have always thought important to share is if you have ever had sexual relations with someone who is a common acquaintance of both of you. That way there would never be a situation where your mate would find out you had slept with someone he knew either professionally or socially without you telling him, thereby making him feel like you had deceived him about it for some reason.

Answer 5

For the love of all that's holy...... NO! Would every man like to know the sorted details of your past encounters? Yes. Is he going to be a happier man because you shared it? No. It's a strange dichotomy. We would like to know only so as to compare ourselves to your other partners. Turns really ugly though if we at any time feel that we can't live up to a past experience you've had. It'll eat away at a man until there's nothing left but the husk of former manhood. All he needs to know is the potential for disease, and that you found him because you weren't happy with whatever you had before. Never, and I repeat, Never tell a man the gory details of how you got to be so great with that special little thing you do. Tell him your glad he likes/loves it, and that it makes you happy to do for him, then leave it at that. Please women, follow this advice as though it were gospel!

Answer 6

It's none of their business. I give no details, and if asked, I just smile and say, oh I don't remember, that was a long time ago, and change the subject.

I mean, do YOU really want to hear about his past sexual exploits? Probably not.

One of my past boyfriends started counting up how many girls he'd slept with before he met me. It was a pretty low number. Anyway, he was so proud of himself. I guess I didn't seem impressed, so he wanted to know how many I'd been with. I told him, forget it, not telling you. Please? PLEASE? He was pretty insistant. So finally I said, ok.

He waited a bit, and then said "Well, how many?"

I hesitated, and then said "I'm still counting"

lmao! I never gave him a number and he stopped asking.

Point being, they don't really want to know, even when they say they do. Keep it to yourself. The only thing that should concern them (and rightly so) is whether or not you have been tested for STDs and are clean.

Answer 7

There is no need for details. If you have had relationships in the past and not practised safe sex, then both of you should get tested for EVERYTHING. This is a common practice now a days.

There is no reason to tell a man you are dating about you past relationships, other than "I like..." which is something you may have discovered in a past relationship.

Answer 8

If it seems as if the relationship will fail due to lack of information or trust then maybe re-think the relationship and the person you are dating do you want to answer question for the rest of your life? Another approach is to but your back up and say, "If you truly like me then my past should not matter, take me as who I am, not who I was."

Answer 9

Not necessary unless they ask you. If they do ask, give them only little information. They will be satisfied with that. Only give them as much detail as they ask. If they want more detail, they will let you know. The rule of thumb is "less is more".

Answer 10

If you are dating about your past relationships?

or do you mean "thinking" ?

Give em as much information as you think you should. Details on sexual life if you feel like it, but usually most girls keep that out.