Is it terrible that I want to get married now instead of waiting until I graduate from college?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 3 years now and we've talked about getting married. He just graduated from college and has begun working full time. I don't graduate for another year and a half. I am ready to settle down and begin the next part of my life. I don't really have the nerve to talk to my boyfriend about it. All of my friends are getting married and it seems like everyone is pregnant. I feel that I am ready to get married and start a family. WHAT SHOULD I DO???

Answer 1

that is the same situation i am in sort of...i am 2 years away from graduation and getting married next summer. the best advice i can give you is what my dad told me. that is to do what makes me happiest but not to forget all of the things i want to accomplish. my fiance supports me and wants me to finish school so i think getting married before i graduate will give me more motivation to finish! good luck

Answer 2

I think you should sit down and really decide what you want. Are you ready because it seems like everyone else is ready? Or are you ready because you truly are ready? It will take a lot of soul searching to figure that one out.

Really, if you got engaged now and had a year and a half engagement it would not be that bad. A year and a half is actually a good time to be engaged. Give you time to enjoy the engagement, take your time planning and not feel rushed.

Weddings can look glamorous and fun from the outside, but the marriage that lies at the center truly is hard work, especially the first year. Put that on top of your college classes and if you really think you're ready to accept the challenge then talk to your boyfriend about it. But in the grand scheme of things, a year and a half is not a long time to wait.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I think it's very important to finish college first. My husband and I got engaged when we still had more than a year left in college. I used that time (spring break, christmas break, etc) to plan the wedding and work out all the details and kinks. We got married the summer after we graduated. It was great. And worth the wait.

I cannot tell you enough that I think you should wait wait wait wait wait. Don't rush. I'm totally happy that we both graduated before we got married. And then we waited two years before we had a baby (we're the first of our friends to have a kid though, kinda opposite of you). And even that, I wish we had waited. :)

Finishing your education now will help things down the road. Maybe it won't make that big of a difference right off the bat, maybe not in the first year, 5 years, etc. But it probably will in 10 years, 20 years, 30 years.

Example: my mom just got her masters. She has her same exact job (she did night school), teaches the same exact classes, does the same exact thing. And just for the fact that she has her masters, her salary increased by a third of her original salary. That is a huge pay jump. Education matters.

Even if you plan on finishing college after you get married....that's so hard to do. So many people drop out once they get married.

Finish school. Wait. It will be worth it.

Answer 4

of course it's not terrible! you know what you want out of life and who are we to tell you when the right time in your life is to make your mistakes and good decisions? I got married when i was 20 and am now 24. i met my husband when i was 15. i was 5 months pregnant with our second daughter when we got married. the bottom line is until a person gets married, no matter how long you wait with that person, you will never really know if everything will turn out alright until you actually do it. only then will you know you have have made the best or one of the worst decisions you ever made. it is very different than being together for a long time. it's a whole new ballgame. we have struggled to keep it and it's something you work at everyday, but isn't anything that's worth keeping? go ahead if you feel it in your heart and doing it for the right reasons. if you base it on a good foundation, it will stand the test of time. congratulations. i hope the best for you because i remember that time in my life.

Answer 5

Not knowing your spiritual background, I'm not sure if you'll respect the only opinion I can offer you: a Biblical perspective.

The Bible advises men to "rejoice in the wife of their youth" and that he who finds a wife "finds a good thing." We are also encouraged to marry rather than burn (in lust). All these things point to the fact that marriage is indeed a good thing, even for the young.

As far as starting a family, that too is blessed by God. The Bible says that children are a gift and a heritage and that a man is blessed and happy who has them, even lots of them!

I graduated in the top 5% of my high school class with multiple scholarships to college. However, I got married and started my family during my Sophomore year of college and I never went back to school. I'm grateful, because I'm a stay-at-home, homeschooling mother. Had I finished college, all I'd have today is more school-loan debt and a "degree" to dust. I'm not against college, in fact I'm all for higher education. I just know that it's not for all people. I'm a living example of that. Should you finish school? I can't answer that for you, but if your heart is toward getting married and starting your family, I'm all for that, and I believe that's a Godly thing to desire. The Bible says some valuable things for women in Titus chapter 2 and in Proverbs 31. The Bible also tells us that He will give us the desires of our hearts. If He has given you this desire, this desire to be married and a mother, then He will cause it to come to pass. He will give it to you.

What should you do? Well, you could talk it over with your boyfriend. You can practice/learn those skills you'll need as a wife and mother by babysitting, cooking, and bargain-shopping, etc. You can talk to your own parents about becoming a spouse and parent. It can be scary having those talks with your parents, but it will be no surprise to them. They've known all along that you would grow up someday and get married. They'll be honored, glad, relieved that you came to them to discuss the most important earthly decision you'll ever make.

Anyway, I hope this has been at least somewhat helpful.

Many blessings,
Momwtrmn

Answer 6

Honestly if you are too nervous to talk to him about wanting to get married now then you aren't ready to get married. You are probably feeling a little left out because your friends have "started the next phase of their lives" and you aren't. If he's just started working and you have a year and a half of school left then you seriously need to wait. This time will be full of lots of stressors for the two of you as it is. There is no need to add planning a wedding stress into the mix. At least not right now, wait at least another year to start planning and then you can get married after graduation if it's really urgent for you to do it soon.

Answer 7

The next time you two talk marriage, ask him if that is what he wants. If his reply is yes, then ask him when he would like to be married. He just graduated and he might want to wait a year after he gets his career started (if he isn't in one now). If that is his answer, just be patient. He is only looking out for your future.
Just make sure that he wants to be your husband, not just talking marriage. And if he wants to get married tomorrow, go for it. Three years is a good time to have gotten to know each other.
I just got married last year, started college 7 weeks ago, and it is hard, but it is making my husband and myself closer because we have been friends for 10 years and he respects me for wanting a better life for both of us.
Good luck and happy planning (I hope).

Answer 8

Definitely finish school first! However, you can be planning your wedding for the next year and a half. Talk to him now so you can get married right after graguation.

I didn't finish college. Got married instead and regret it to this day!

Answer 9

you really do need to talk to you boyfriend about it...because what if hes ready too, but is worried you will be upset if he brings it up before YOU graduate too!? Clear up the confusion, and tell him how you feel...you already know that this is the guy you'll end up with for the rest of your life...so whats the worst that could happen? you wait a year and a half? big deal! time flies, and everyones situation is different...
its great that he just graduated too, let him save the money up and in a year you'll have a beautiful wedding...there really is no harm in waiting, i know your anxious, but look at it this way, it takes a YEAR to plan a wedding, talk to him about getting engaged, and see how that conversation goes...


just one day, when he's sitting down on the couch, go over and sit on his lap, and put your arms around him, and smile and flirt, and put your forehead agaisnt his, and say,
"babe, i cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you... i just want to get married...."



good luck! :)

Answer 10

i could wait and get engaged in a pair of twelve months and then have a twelve months-long engagement. this gives you a lot of time to save & you could plan the marriage for merely when you graduate. It seems such as you're able to quite extremely wait, so do not enable individuals stress you into this. the final difficulty you want to do is commence your marriage off on the incorrect foot, which could be very in all probability in case you're decrease than economic rigidity. additionally, in case you have a protracted engagement you have the earnings of being waiting to save around for the suitable costs and lock in distributors at decrease rates. suitable needs :)