How can I stop my mother from blackmailing me?

Question

I'm 20 with a 4 month old daughter, I'm living in a small town with my family right now, I plan to move back to the city with my daughter to live with my boyfriend. My mother does not want me to do this and plans to go to my boyfriend with information from the past that would ruin our relationship if I try to leave, I could really use some advice, anything that could stop her from doing this, thanks

Answer 1

wow, that really sucks that a mother would do that. but here is my advice: You need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him the situation AND make a deal with him. ok, first you tell him "i want to move with you, however my mother doesn't want me to and she is threating me with telling you something that is not true". then you say what your mother would be telling him. for example this is what your would say to your boyfriend "she is going to tell you that i 'yata yata yata' a few months ago, and it is not true, babe. she just wants to anger you so that you don't take me into your home cuz she doesn't want us living together." then the 'deal' is "Honey, you have to trust me. I wouldn't lie to you and you know how my mom is." Your boyfriend should take your word over your mother's becuase YOU are the one who is most significant to him. I mean, you guys have a baby. He needs to trust you. the only other thing i can think of is that u just tell him the truth and apologize with all your heart. i hope you understood the little advice i tried to give you. it's confusing to type, but if it were over the phone it would be alot easier. it worked for me cuz i was once in a similar situation. good luck.

Answer 2

Ok. First, is this bf the daddy? Did he do something bad to you or cause trouble in the family or something? Maybe your mom is afraid for a good reason and you know why. Maybe not. Either way, I'd have a talk with her and find out exactly why she doesnt want you to go. And why she thinks its ok to act like a child about it. If the bf is a genuine good guy, I'd tell him that your mom is against the two of you together. Tell him that she's already threatened to come between the two of you. As crappy as it sounds, he should hear your past mistakes from you first. Then if your mom does try to start crap, he'll be ready for her.

Answer 3

I always believed in the corrrect order of doing things. Especially, when it comes to children. What comes to mind is the old phrase...First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. You are a twenty year old child who probably has no real job skills, no college degree, moving to a city with guy who won't accept your past and probably doesn't have a good job himself. Now you have an innocent beautiful baby who is now a victim. You better really really try to talk to your mom cuz sooner rather than later you'll be back crying to ur mommy to help u take care of that kid. Sad, this country is getting so so sad.

Answer 4

If I were you, I'd go to your boyfriend and talk with him about this information from the past. If you are planning on staying in a commited relationship you are eventually going to have to be honest with him.

Does your mom not want you to go bc she is going to miss you or bc she is worried that you are not going to be able to care financially for yourself and her grandchild?? I'd talk with her and try to ease into it (if possible) making the move gradually. Sometimes parents have a hard time letting their kids grow up and live their own lives. Pointing out to her that you are an adult and that you are doing what you need to do in order to move on with your life is a good start.

Hope that helps

Answer 5

that's ashame,maybe shes just saying that so you will think about what you r doing /protecting you/and grandchild ,you r living under her roof for some reason ,maybe we dont have the whole story here,is bf the daddy?is he supporting you and child ?if he really cares about you and child what ever mommy says wont make a difference you can speak w/bf and tell him what she said and how creative she can get when she doesn't get her way if she really is the threat,but whats more important is that you are being responsible and making wise decisions about whats best for your child maybe if she see's that you do know what your doing [if you know what your doing]she will be less fear full of your choices, tell her that if she plans to be a part of this child's life she will allow you to make your own choices and mistakes how else will you learn just remember theres a child here and you better make good choices,good luck on your journey in life ,i tried to see both sides here ,try to see her side too..

Answer 6

face the music.if it were me i would have a heart to heart talk with my boyfriend you should be honest.let him know how much you love and value him and how important he is in your life.if you are lying to him about the child you have to tell him the truth its only right.let him know you need to tell him something and you hope he can and will forgive you and give you another chance.tell him you cant live with the lies anymore and you didnt want anyone else like your mom telling him this.stress its between the two of you and you want other people to stay out of your business so you two can work things out.good luck.be brave and own up to your mistakes,and never let anyone blackmail you - the truth always comes out anyway!

Answer 7

Blackmail her back and then cut her out of your life for doing such a rotten dirty thing to you. Tell her if she ever wants to see you and her granddaughter again she better not do it. Then move and change your phone numbers. This reminds of the couple that kidnapped their daughter to keep her from marrying a guy because they didn't approve of him.


Note: The people on here that say to tell your bf the truth about your past are crazy! The past is the past and it's not his business. Especially if it may change the way he feels about you!

Answer 8

Tell her that you are an adult and what she is doing is blackmail and that is illegal and if she keeps at it, you will go to the police. You should also tell her that if she threatens you or does tell him, you will never talk to her again or let her see your daughter and that is your right. Also ask her what type of mother would ruin her daughter and granddaughter's life and if she loves you she will shut the hell up.

Answer 9

oh wow that sucks sounds a lot like some one i know, she ended up moving out with her bf and the mom told her bf that she didnt really love him and all that, i think youshould just tell your bf that ur mom doesnt want you guys together and he should be prepare for what ever is coming i think you should be honest with him about what ever it is that you dont want him to know or maybe just tell him that there are things from ur past that you are not happy about and ur mom wants to tell him to ruin u u guys but if she tells him, ask him if he still loves you and if he still wants to be with you.

Answer 10

How horrible of her. I would think you should go to your boyfriend first and tell him what your mother is planning to do. If he wants to know what your mother is going to say, then tell him. If he loves you, he won't care. If he does care, he isn't worth having anyway.

Good luck to you. Tell your mom what she is doing is not right.