Men Why are they so difficult to figure out?

Question

I'm a single mom I work I go to school so I think I'm a very hard working person but for the past couple of years I haven't had any luck with guys. Lately its my self-esteem level hit a big time low. My family moved to a new town about two years ago and being a single mom I haven't had much of a chance to make new friends! About two years ago right before I moved one of my friend's took me over to one of her guy friend's houses and him and I hit it off really well. We started talking and it was great. Then I remembered that I was moving soon and I couldn't do a long distance relationship plus I was really scared it was my first time being in a kind of relationship since I had my little girl so I kind of scared him off by pushing my daughter on him to fast. So he stopped calling and we never saw each other again. Then about 3 weeks ago he calls up my friend and ask for my number just out of the blue and he starts calling me again. I've talked to him a few times its really boosting my self-esteem. I know that the two of us have grown up a lot but I’m still kind of scared of having a long distance relationship. I just don’t know why this guy I only met once 2 yrs ago wants anything to do with me now. I didn’t even think he ever thought of me again after it ended. I want to ask him that but I’m scared to. I have my own confessions to make like how I kind of knew what I was doing when I scared him off but I’m afraid if I tell him that I kinda meant to do it he might get scared again. I don’t know why but I’m happy to just be able to talk to him when he calls me its like the 2 yrs never happened. And my friend she just keeps saying I knew there was something there. He said that he hasn’t had a real girl friend in 3 yrs and its kinda the same with me could it be that we are both just lonely. ( he’s a cute guy and very nice I know he wouldn’t have trouble finding a girl but he works a lot.) I just don’t know what to do or what to think why after 2 yrs?

Answer 1

you lose nothing by going and having coffee with the guy

Answer 2

Doesn't sound like he's the one that needs figuring out ~ lol You are very afraid so you sabotaged the relationship before it could go anywhere. Apparently he sees alot of good qualities in you and that's why he's calling again. I'm sure he has matured in the mean time and thinks you are worth the time to try and make this work so why discourage it?

Long distance relationships can work if we want them to and the fact that you knew each other before should help the situation. I met my husband on a church site and we were 1200 miles apart so even though we had a couple of issues in the beginning, we opened the lines of communication and worked on things and are very happy today.

You two need to work it out where you can get together and talk face-to-face, then explain to him the fear you had when you met him before and apologize for making things so uncomfortable at the time. Men do not think like women, although we always try to put them in that mold, so alot of hard feelings come out of it when we try to change the way they are without understanding them and the way they are.

Sure hope you can work it out ~ sounds like you have a winner so don't chase him away again and live with the "What if I.......?" God be with you.

Answer 3

well,first off,your first instinct is usually the right one.It is rare that a man after 2 yrs. calls unless there is a reason,like what you stated...LD.I have had it happen to where my ex will call out of the blue after a yr. and its supposed to be like we never parted,but when the bottom comes,its he was lonely,and wanted someone familiar.
My advice would be to go very slow,the problem with long distance is they can be running a whole nother life you know nothing about..Just be careful,and don't let YOUR loneliness make you a victim.It is better to be alone and open for a local relationship,then get into a bad one,esp. when there is a child involved.She has to deal with any changes you make in your life so always think about how it will affect her as well.And guess what I have 2 single sons looking for good women,child or not,so there are good men left out here.....Later,Alice

Answer 4

Well first off, you shouldn't date him at all if you think that you're only speaking to each other because you're both just lonely.

But it sounds like you really made an impression on him if he's calling you back after only meeting you once 2 years ago. He obviously thought about you. I think that you might as well give things a shot and see where they go. Good luck :)

Answer 5

A better question might be, why do women have to over complicate everything?
Men are not confusing. We are simple and obvious.
It's only when females start to do this "I wonder what he REALLY means" when they get confused.
It's not rocket science.
He likes you. That doesn't mean you are "soul mates" and all that other new age rubbish, it just means what it means.
If you are confused about why he's interested in you, then simply ask him.
Us guys get so exasperated that women won't simply ask us what they want to know about us, and tell us what we need to know about them.
Just call him up and tell him ALL of this stuff, see what he's thinking, tell him what you're thinking, and whatever happens, at least it's reality.
What you're doing now, is playing games, whether it's intentional or not.

Answer 6

not only men, women are extrmemely difficult, and this isnt that difficult of a situation of you think about it. the best thing you could possibly do in this situation, would be to just flat out ask him, tell him whats on your mind, your not connected in any way with him, and you want to know. what you need to do is make sure that its legitamate, and make sure that someone good is going to be introduced into your childs life. this guy sounds good for you, if he felt like there was something there 2 years ago, and never got to go on his impulse, he may have just been beating himself up untill now, regretting that nothing ever happend, give him a chance, ask him what ever you want to, now is that time. make sure its for a good reason, and then go with it.

Answer 7

Why not, after 2 years? Try it. It might work out. But avoid sexual involvement until you get to be friends and mutually decide to be in a relationship with future implications and set a wedding date.

Answer 8

With the distance I would say forget him. Find someone closer to your location to date. If it didn't work out with this man when you were in the same town, it won't work out when you are face to face again. Don't waste your time because long distance relationships can seem very good when you don't have to see each other and just build things up in your mind.

Answer 9

You are thinking way too much on this one!

Take it one day/step at a time, don't rush it and stop worrying so much!

Remember, humans do things for only two reasons, love or fear. Doing things out of fear gets ya nowhere. Doing things out of love will make you happy every time.

Good Luck!

Answer 10

take it as a compliment. he wanted to talk to you after 2 years...usually that is a sign that you made a positive impression upon him. what do you have to lose, just go for it. you only live once and if you do not try, you will never know and maybe spend the rest of your life wondering...what if.

Answer 11

Just relax a bit and take things as they come. I think things will develop naturally on their own.