I fell in love with him when i found he loves me with all his heart. he would do anything for me even if it means leaving his house. But that would be a prob in my house 'cos i'm still in college. He's trying his best to stop his marriage but its of no use. If he tells abt me, then we would face serious consequences. I'm totally lost and helpless. I dont want to give him up though. I have one more yr to complete my engineering after which i'm free to do anything. He cannot even push his marriage for another yr. Pls suggest me a way out of this. Or atleast give ur opinions if u were in my position so that i can face the reality.
2007-05-13 16:23:41 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The prob is, his parents were smart enuf to find out that he's been talkin to one particular no. for the past three months. Though i changed my no. now, the older no. has my address with which they wud trace me. I am ready to face his parents even if they find me. but what he says is, if I was brought out then my parents wud know abt this and that wud spoil my life and my parents' as i'm still in college. From all ur answers i feel there is one point made clear: That he's playing foul. But he promises that he wud divorce her in one yr and will marry me. There is another issue... We actually exchanged rings in sign of marriage as we cannot get married in reality. He didnt tell me he was engaged when he proposed me. I knew this only three weeks back. Now the issue is i have to give up not just my boyfriend but my husband. If i ask him to pressurise more he simply asks me to decide for myself, and that wud mean we getting separated forever. :-(
2007-05-13 20:46:46 · update #1
Sweetie,first of all if he genuinely loves you as much as he says,and you seem to think he does then why is he even in the position of having a fiance?Seems to me if he loved you as much as he says he does,he would want to be with you as opposed to putting you through this.Surely,he could find a cheap apartment of his own,and you both date.He doesnt have to depend on you,if he automaticly leaves his fiance.Also,Why would his marriage need to be pushed another year,if he is wanting to be with you?If he wants out,he doesnt have to mention you.He simply has to say,to the bride "..I have had a change of heart,and I no longer want to marry you.." end of discussion.However,he seems to have you thinking he is helpless and is being controlled and forced to be married to this female.If he truely,wanted out of this relationship,he would be out of it.I would sit him down,and have a serious heart to heart,one on one conversation.Alot of things need to be addressed such as,what/who is forcing him to stay in this marriage?,Why he has to tell about you to get out of the relationship?,Why did he allow himself to get involved with you,if he knew he was engaged?.The list is literally beyond endless.This is a ridiculous situation,and he doesnt seem to know what he wants.You are a college student,and you have many things to be focusing on.If he has no idea what he wants in general,how is he going to know what he wants in a relationship?He doesnt seem very mature to me.He needs to figure out what he wants in a relationship and who he loves and want to spend his life with.He is hurting you,as well as his fiance.I can merely advise you,but he doesnt sound like a very good man.The discussion definately needs to be.You need to speak with him,cover whats in your heart and your mind.If he cant leave her,he doesnt love you as much as he says.I apologise,but no one can be forced,and he doesnt "have" to tell about you to get out of the relationship.Good luck hun,and have a good night!!
2007-05-13 16:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he loves you and you love him that all the motivation that you will need to pursue your relationship together, what's the sense of love if you cannot fight for it, relationship isn't about shortcuts, sometimes you must struggle to get what you want you cannot have the things you want if your not putting some effort on it.
Tell to this guy that if he can live the rest of his life with lie, then tell him that he should forget about you, he is a man, and being a man he should face that consequences with you. Anyway the final decision is for you to decide, but think about the future, don't regret whatever decision you come-up with, because maybe one day you'll saying that, if I just fight for our relationship then I wouldn't be like this regretting things. I'm saying this because I've been in a similar situation like this, in that time I didn't say a thing I just let her go and even if I had someone right now I still love her, whenever I see her I want to hug her and say that I love her so much but it's to late, if I can only bring back the time I'll do what I must supposed to do.
2007-05-13 17:27:43 · answer #2 · answered by jc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both say that you both love each other , then see to it that he cancels the wedding and stands by you.
If it means going against his parents, its ok.They will defiantley be hurt for the moment, because they feel they have been betrayed.
Also parents will feel how can we face society etc, etc.
But in time to come all will be well.
Because if he marries the girl he is not in love with, he will definately spoil her life, his and yours.
Yes that girl will be broken hearted but its better than being in a bad marriage.
You should have the guts to go upto yur parents and tell them the truth.If they can help you great.
Otherwise just go upto his parents and tell them.Im sure if they are all wise parents in time they will ralize and give in.
Think and rect fast before its too late.No use feeling sorry for yurself once its too late.
All the best to you and your boyfriend !!
2007-05-13 16:32:38 · answer #3 · answered by Big Mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wise up sugar... He doesn't care about you or love you like you seem to think he does, otherwise he wouldn't be getting married. He's just trying to have his cake and eat it too. He wants miss wifey to support him and play house with him, and then wants you on the side. Screw him, don't let any guy make a cumdumpster out of you, you're too young and have too much going for you! If he's not willing to give up his soon-to-be marriage for you, then he's not worth a moment of your time. Oh by the way, in most cases, once a cheater always a cheater. You'll find out the hard way if you don't let it go now.
2007-05-13 16:28:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like one smooth operater to me ,young lady
He is stringing you along . There are some guys that could
convince 10 women in one week that he feels that kind
of love for you ,seems to me he is one of them. If he
really loved you he would not marry someone else. Period.
Dig? He will come up with 10 million reasons why he can`t
cancel his plans .Bluntly he is keeping you around for booty.
I am telling you what I honestly think .I have been around
I am 23 and a college senior in psychology, and a part time dancer.
2007-05-13 16:42:53 · answer #5 · answered by tiffanny_young 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say that "he's trying his best to stop his marriage but its of no use" - but I don't get it. All he has to do is say that he's changed his mind about getting married. He doesn't have to give reasons. If he says he can't stand up to his fiancee and tell her that he's not happy with getting married at the moment, then I'd suspect that he has other reasons for not stopping the marriage - like maybe he wants to keep you on the side, but still wants to marry his fiancee? You've got to admit, it sounds suspicious.
2007-05-13 16:44:33 · answer #6 · answered by Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If both of you blindly love each other then be assertive. Ask him to refuse to marry any other girl. Keep it in mind that it's very difficult & painful to forget one's first love. Suppose, he marries another girl and you too marry another boy. And on one unfortunate day, your spouses come to know your love or you continue to meet even after your marriages - can you imagine what will happen. Hell will break loose. Your marriages will be on the rocks and lives of four people will be stressful and painful. SO TRY YOUR BEST AND PRAY TO GOD.
2007-05-13 16:32:46 · answer #7 · answered by Gentleman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear you belive or not his love for u is not true, he would have stoped getting married to other girl if he really loves u. you can consult with your family, you may complete u r further studies even after your marriage. pls. don't be a late, think fast as time is less. if not u will suffer for your life time. wish u all the best.
2007-05-13 20:49:46 · answer #8 · answered by Shana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't in love with you and wouldn't do anything for you! Stop living this lie! This man is marrying someone else. If he would do anything for you then he'd break the marriage off, get an apartment near your university and await your graduation date! Love isn't saying, "Oh well since she's still in school let me go marry this other chick."
Search his heart and make sure it's love. Notice I didn't say search his pants!!!
2007-05-13 16:31:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he is getting marriage and not stopping the wedding then he don't want to and you should just let that train go and wait on the next one to come along. And it will because if he get married then he is not meant for you at this time. And if he is your soul mate then he will return to be with you just give him time.
2007-05-13 16:29:46 · answer #10 · answered by kool aid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy got my Spanish teacher to ditch her fiancee the day before their wedding. He took her to dinner, went to the bathroom, gave the waiter a plane ticket to Paris and had him give it to her with a note that said meet him at the top of the Eiffel Tower at some certain time. Now she married him.
Try it.
2007-05-13 16:26:47 · answer #11 · answered by [NICKNAME] 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋