a wonderful girl on a dating chatline a year ago. we chatted off and on for weeks until we eventually met up. she is a 25yr old single mum. i have been visiting her regularly ever since and for the past few weeks i have been spending every day with her and her family at her mums house. the problem is i think ive fallen in love with her. i have told her and she said she loves me as a friend but nothing more. then today when i was with her she spent all day cuddling up to me and stroking my hand. im getting mixed signals and dont have a clue how to read them. what do i do please help.
2007-05-13 11:50:11 · 11 answers · asked by DAVID H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i must just add that whilst i said we had spent everyday at her mothers she doesnt actually live with her mom. she has 2 children both boys under 4, and has done an excellent job bringing them up without a man in her life.
2007-05-13 12:17:59 · update #1
Easy. You move on and you find someone else that doesn't play head games. There is too much of an age difference here. You are wanting one thing out of a relationship and she is wanting something else. She was rather young when she had her children. Maybe she isn't in a hurry to settle down. You say that she has done just fine supporting her two boys on her own. But don't kid yourself. Of course she wants someone to help her with taking care of her kids. It would make it much easier on her. Maybe she is confused as to what she wants with you. I don't know why she would even bother introducing you to her family members so soon unless she was planning on having a serious relationship with you. Maybe the age difference bothers her more than you think it does. The only way to know for sure is just to ask her. If she doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about her, then you need to end the relationship and move on. I honestly think that you would be better off dating a woman your own age. If you don't have kids and want them, find yourself a woman that doesn't have any. It would work out better that way. You haven't been dating this young woman long enough for her to have introduced her children to you at all. It is best to not get attached to the children so soon in the relationship in case things don't work out. Good luck. Take care.
2007-05-13 12:09:43 · answer #1 · answered by cmg1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she's sending you pretty mixed signals. Could probably be two things: 1. Maybe she's unsure herself. Being a single mum complicates things.Maybe she's testing her feelings to see if she feels more. Give her some time to figure it out, take it slow. She probably doesn't want to hurt you if she isn't yet sure how she feels, but if she does feel something more than friendship it will creep up on her eventually, don't worry. 2. Maybe she's lonely and likes having you around and giving her attention. She made it clear that she only likes you as a friend so her conscience is clean and if something happens and she uses you she can just say it was a accident and she didn't mean it. Basically, woman are strange creatures and be carefull if you don't want to get burnt. Just give it a bit more time, say a few weeks. If you're still not sure ask her straight and if she still wants to be just friends tell her to stop playing with your feelings, since she knows how you feel about her.
2007-05-13 12:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by booha! 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a tricky one.
There are two approaches
1. Hope that the friendship will turn into a romance
2. Get out while you still have your sanity.
My experience suugests that the second course of action is wiser. Usually sex happens pretty much within the first three meetings if it is going to happen at all.
See this link for more info:
www.intellectualwhores.com/foundations.html
2007-05-13 11:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
U need to ask her where this relationship is going because after all you are getting mixed signals...talk...ask where do you think you will be in two years? Married? Still single? If she can not answer...there are plenty of other fish in the sea...its just not too easy fishin these days...good luck
2007-05-13 11:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she loves you "just as a friend and nothing more" then push her away when she starts cuddling and stroking your hand. Friends don't do that with each other. She's leading you on in case she can't find anybody better.
2007-05-13 11:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately, i dont think these signals are mixed. i think she does just like you as a friend and really just misses that male affection. remember shes a single mom so she may not actually be interested in something more right now. if u feel like ull still be in love with her take some distance apart. good luck!
2007-05-13 11:55:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. Why do you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you that way?? You can spend more time seeing if she begins to have those type of feelings for you or you could keep her as a friend and look for someone else.
2007-05-13 11:54:54 · answer #7 · answered by Weimaraner Mom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just ask her what do she want out of life then tell her what you want and if she don't want the samething you want you have to tell her that she right there is nothing here but a friendship but I'm at a point in my life where I need a woman in my life... hit me back and tell me what happen. bugg007us@yahoo.com
2007-05-13 11:58:02 · answer #8 · answered by Brownsugar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to come right out and ask her and tell her that if she just wants to be friends then she needs to back off and stop giving you hope and screwing with you mind and emotions...maybe she si slaone becasue she plays mind games and if that is the case you need to just leave her and find someone that wont do just hat
2007-05-13 11:54:06 · answer #9 · answered by dede 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have put your feelings out there already. you just need to wait and see what she is going to d. Just remember she has a kid. So its not just herself she has to think about its whats best for the both of them. just give her time she will let you know
2007-05-13 11:53:51 · answer #10 · answered by mother of twin girls 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋