Another view of marriage.
If you had a husband whose responsibility it was to pay for all your costs, provide you with suitable housing, pay for all your children's expenses, provide you with social recreation as well as treat you kindly, patiently and with justice, would you cooperate with him?
Would you try to make him happy, respect him and forgive him for any wrongs he might do?
Along with that, you would have the right to earn and keep your own money and he wouldn't have the right to tell you how to spend it. You could be a millionaire but he would still have the responsibility to pay for all your needs. Doesn't that sound great?
It happens.
by: Velma Cook
2007-05-13 11:40:00 · 22 answers · asked by muslim-doctor 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Yes
Yes
and yes.
2007-05-13 11:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
That's all very nice, but does this man love me?
Does he think he might have the right to dictate to me?
Does he feel he might be justified if I don't go along with his program to hit me?
Because, if he were laboring under any such misconceptions, I would let him know in a quick hurry that I am not merchandise to be bought.
Surely, in marriage, we must both treat each other kindly, patiently, and with justice? Surely we ought to cooperate with one another?
It is his duty to support me and my children, isn't it? It is also his duty to love me as Christ loves the church, even to the point of giving his life for me. In fact, he is to love me as much as he loves his own flesh, is it not so?
Wouldn't a decent woman be more than willing to contribute any money she made to the household? Wouldn't she want to spend her money on her children, and on her husband, if she loves him?
What you describe doesn't sound much like marriage to me. I don't think I'd be happy in such a relationship.
I'd say, if this guy wants unconditional adoration and obedience, let him buy a dog. It would be cheaper in the long run, and the dog would be happy.
2007-05-14 22:56:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, but I disagree. Nothing in life is certain except death. If something were to happen to my husband, I would have to be the provider, and that is not a bad thing, unless I was out of practice. Two people should work together, but the house is not the man's. In most cultures, the house is the woman's.
2007-05-13 18:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by Shinigami 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
marriage is more than a financial arrangement.
paragraph 1 - i would always try to cooperate with my spouse, that's part of having a spouse.
paragraph 2 - of course i would NOT forgive him for any wrongs he might do. just because he provides financially, doesn't give him a free pass to do whatever he pleases.
paragraph 3 - why would a happily married person want to be so selfish and keep all their money to themselves? answer is, they wouldn't, so no, that doesn't sound great. in fact i wouldn't wish this situation upon anyone i cared about.
2007-05-13 18:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think it's some kind of un-American plot to subjugate women, you "dirty hippy". Sorry for answering, I'm a man but I'm bored.
I am married to an asian woman and our marriage is suppose to adhere to those "ideals". My wife and I are partners. It's us against the world. Anything else but total commitment to each other is an "accident waiting to happen".
Would I want a subservient, slave for a wife ? not hardly. Would my wife want a religious blow-hard for a husband ? I doubt anyone but a moron, pervert or a user would be interested in that life-style.
Happily (though not deliriously) married man
2007-05-13 19:01:12 · answer #5 · answered by rick m 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There seems to be something wrong with this. I can't quite figure out what it is, but there is a wrongness about it. Women need to understand that your husband doesn't provide for you, but that you provide for each other. You are each others support. The relationship should be a partnership. The wife should not be placed on a pedestal by her husband,and she should not look to him to grand all of her needs. So no, this does not sound great. It sounds fake.
2007-05-13 18:50:21 · answer #6 · answered by Je veux changer le monde 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Would I try to make him happy? No. He should make ME happy. Respect him just because he is a man? No. Forgive him for anything? NO.
What part of NO, don't you understand?
Islam is a sexist religion, and this will not make anyone think otherwise. Being barefoot and pregnant, is not my idea of a good time. Along with catering to a man's every whim and cooking, cleaning and caring for a bunch of screaming kids. Unable to even LEAVE the house for some peace and quiet. No wonder your woman want to strap a bomb to themselves, it is their only way out of a living hell. No Thanks!!!!!!!
2007-05-13 19:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by tonks_op 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah and exactly what and who's definition of "kindly, patiently and with justice" would that be?
Along with who's definition of "respect" ?
Also "forgive him for any wrongs he might do" ?
Does this included beating you when he felt he was "justified" in doing so?
It sounds like smoke and mirrors my friend with a bunch of undisclosed definitions, expectations and restrictions to boot.
Not to mention you have implied that the woman's one and only choice and role is to be a home maker and raise children.
No thanks, I am perfectly capable of supplying all those need, home, clothing, food recreation for myself and don't have to give up my freedom of choice or independence in order to get them.
2007-05-13 19:03:39 · answer #8 · answered by Fluffy Wisdom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you want to be a gold-digger. Or have your parents spoiled you soo much that it warped your sense of reality? Or perhaps a certain religion has warped you. It's hard to tell.
You are supposed to marry someone you love, not because you want a slave, or perhaps, you will end up being the slave.
I will be independent of my husband, and he of me. We will share our finances, and we will both support our family. I couldn't stand having him doing that for me. Spouses are meant to love you and support you emotionally.
Also, who would want to just spend all day cleaning, and then have him use you? What's the point in that? Or have him beat you into submission?
Be independent, be your own person. Believe me, it's much more fufilling.
2007-05-13 20:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by xEllie13x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I already try to make my husband happy and forgive him any wrongs (though he has never done the big ones, like cheat, or anything like that).
So far as the rest of that scenario, even if I had my own income with the right to do with it as I chose, I would still feel like a kept one. I prefer our current setup.
2007-05-13 18:45:52 · answer #10 · answered by julz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
so if a husband pays for everything and provides everything we are to forgive what ever he does???
Nope not for me...I have been offered it but I would never do that.....I would be selling out. If a man loves me and we both provide for the family then it is a family...other wise the situation you are proposing is that of a kept woman and yes there are many like that.....but it is not for me at all.
2007-05-13 18:46:23 · answer #11 · answered by Patricia G 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋