How to convince parents to kick out my uncle????

Question

My uncle has been living with us for 6 months now. He was only supposed to live with us for 3. My mom wanted him to make something of himself so she got him a job, yatta yatta yatta. But he's making no effort to find a place of his own considering he has a steady, good paying job. He's a BIG alcoholic. I've never seen a bigger alcoholic ever in my life. He drinks at LEAST a 6 pack every day, most days more than that. I no longer bring friends to the house because who wants to hang out with a drunk alcoholic around all the time? I'm 15 and it's summer now. I want my old life back. He also is staying in our workout room. Our treadmill is now in our living room, an ab lounge in my room, and a set of dumbells in my brothers room. All of which were in our work out room. He's just been nothing but a nuisance. I have to post more details. Sorry so long.

Most importantly, he shows my parents no respect. He yells at my mom and he's racist, which normally wouldn't bother me, but he says the racist comments right in front of my stepfather, who isn't white. He treats my parents like trash. He has no repect for any of us. And on top of that he doesn't help pay rent, bills, anything. He spends his WHOLE paycheck on alcohol.

I've told my parents to kick him out and they just get mad at me. I can't take it anymore. They keep saying, we will do it next week, or in two weeks. Then when the time comes they just push it even further. How can I get them to get rid of him? I want my old life back and so do my brothers.

My parents don't listen to me no matter what I say. I tell them that he has no respect for them, I tell them that he is a bad influence for my younger brother. I just can't take his crap anymore and my parents just yell at me when I calmly and rationally talk to them about it. I feel like they are taking his side instead of even listening to what I have to say.

Answer 1

Here is the hard cold facts: Your parents are not helping him at all, what they are doing is enabeling him. That means that even though they mean well they have created an enviornment where he has no reason to better himself. In fact, he is as you said getting worse. The fact that he disrespects the household proves that he could care less about any of you. His yelling racial slurs is a test to see how far down he can get before he will get kicked out. As you can see he can get pretty low. you said that your parents will not listen to any of the children. Since it is you and your brother that are the only ones that are being reasonable you need to make your parents realize that they are making him worse and they are not protecting you from being exposed to a very harmful situation. If you really want to make a change then both you and your brother need to get help from people that know more about these things. Look up this web site. You can get all kinds of help here:
http://www.al-anon.org/alateen.html
find the one nearest to you and get as much literature as you can. Leave it laying around the house so your parents can find them. If they get angry at you just say that you and your brother are family and that since they are not going to protect you two, that you have to go to strangers now to find protection. If they say something like how you and your brother are turning your backs on family, tell them that you are the children and that they and the Uncle are the adults. You need to say this to them over and over again until they get it. This is what you have been learning the last six month: That it does not matter if you and your brother turn to drugs and alcohol because they will not care enough to make you stop.
If you have any other family near maybe you can ask them to help you by letting you and your brother stay with them.
Here is another web site:
http://www.drlaura.com/main/
E-mail here and she will have better answers. It is sad that you need to grow up and protect yourselves when you should be feeling protected. Good luck and if you and your brother want to e-mail me and I will help you as much as I can. You will both have my full support!

Answer 2

This is wrong. Do you have an adult friend like a minister or a teacher or anyone who you could ask to be with you and your brothers for a meeting with your parents? Schedule it and write down just what you wrote here? You all deserve a childhood rather than living with a loser because your mother is an enabler. You said you stated it to them calmly so I guess they wont listen to you which is why I suggested a different adult, like an advocate. If you do not know anyone can you ask the dept of social services in your city or town how to reach a childrens advocate? I hope that your mother realizes that she will lose you in a few years when you move out due to this and are on your own and she will never be able to recapture these years. I am sorry for you all but good you wrote . MEANWHILE, study very hard in school, get very good grades so you can go to college and get a good job later and make enough money to move out.

Answer 3

You need to talk to your parents about the fact that you feel that you can't bring friends over anymore. You need to let them know that you understand that your uncle is having a bad time, but that he needs help to get better. You need to be as understanding as you possibly can and make sure your parents get that fact, but you also need to tell them how this situation is effecting you. Becareful not to sound like you are only thinking about yourself. Is your brother older or younger? if the brother is younger, then you could mention what kind of message the drunk uncle is setting up for your brother. The big thing is that you need to talk to your parents about this.

Answer 4

Wow- sorry- that's a tough situation. I can see, though, why your parents are allowing this to happen. They are hoping he will start acting like an adult and get his s**t together. Unfortunately, their kindness and support are now actually having the opposite effect- your uncle is way too comfortable with the status-quo. No way is he going to leave! Your parents have become enablers, and need to realize it. Look in the 'phone book for Al-Anon- I know they have a group for teen relatives of alcohol and drug abusers. Maybe (hopefully!) when your parents realize how deeply your uncle's presence in your home and your life is affecting you, they will kick his butt out. If not, at least you will learn ways to cope with a bad situation. Best of luck, kiddo.

Answer 5

a guys point of view............gina............first of all, don't take chris' advise...its wrong to steal i'm sure you know that...i wish you would have said how old your brothers were...hopefully there almost as old as you...this way, what i'm about to suggest would go over with a lot more clout...here are a few questions you have to ask yourself...will mom and step-dad listen if you all talk ? can your family have a decussion at dinner ? if so then you kids need to tell mom and pop you need to talk to them at dinner tonight...have unc there too...tell them whats on your mind...i know you said you've done this before, with negetive results...but this time confront your uncle at the same time...DO NOT raise your voice or appear to be angry...don't...belive it or not this will show maturity on your part...you could even go as far as finding an empty apartment that he can move into...find out all the information about it...rent , deposits...keep it within his wage earnings...then after you have all this information write it down, neatly and bring this piece of paper to the table with you...you and your brothers need to say whats on your minds calmly and then while your speaking about this you need togive your mom and pop a copy and give one to your uncle too...even though you are still concidered a child by your parents standards, you do have a right to be heard...you lived in this home before your uncle did...you see, a young person such as yourself getting mad really is passed on as a temper tantrum...tell mom and pop how you feel about drinking...one more question...if unc were to quit drinking could he stay, at least awhile longer? act the young woman that you are...not a spoiled child...you will get more this way...be sfae...be kind...and i wish you love...

Answer 6

Get your family together and tell them all of the things that are bothering you. put together the cost of having him there, and show them how he isnt contributing. He is also embarrassing you and your brothers. Have your brothers help you, and show your parents that it isnt only affecting you, but your brothers as well. He treats you all terribly, and they cant continue to ignore that. He is also an alcoholic, and he seems to freak you out a bit, make sure you mention that. Good luck.

Answer 7

Your uncle needs some guidance. Leave some travel brochures laying around the workout room. He'll get the hint.

Answer 8

Maybe you should talk to your parents about how having an alcholic in the house is a bad influence to you and your brother. Tell her he makes you feel uncomfortable

Answer 9

You and your mom need to have a heart to heart, and just tell him that he has overstayed his welcome and its time he gets on with his life. He really sounds like a loser, and you need better roll models than that around...

If your parents do not want to listen then tell them you would like to stay with a grandparent sometimes so you dont have to be around your uncle. You could contact Child Protective services, and they can help you all come up with a solution. Maybe they can help your uncle get his own place.

Answer 10

Tell your mother you never thought you'd see the day when this uncle controlled her and told her what to do in her own home. What's next? When he says "jump" she'll be asking him "how high?"