What should you tell a christian who has lost their virginity at one point in time, and is now in a new relationship, but wants to wait until marriage to have sex again? Even though they are physically not a virgin anymore, is it possible for them to have the mind of a virgin again?
2007-05-13 10:14:34 · 17 answers · asked by pocketful_of_sunshine 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
This person was not married at the time they lost their virginity. And they were a Christian at the time too.
2007-05-13 10:46:01 · update #1
I believe they can have a mind of one, in the sense to wait until marriage. Being pure in thought and deed.
We all make mistakes. But when we repent, we are forgiven. Jesus told the lady caught in the act that He didn't condemn her, and not to sin anymore. I believe this is the perfect example, for the "outsiders" and those who have fallen to sin.
2007-05-13 11:05:53 · answer #1 · answered by RB 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
always look at the present and the future, If you have done something wrong then just simply repent.
I am a muslim by the way and the islamic point of view is that God forgives everything and He will not judge you on what you were in the past, rather He will judge you on what you do now. If you repent and dont repeat the sin, then you are doing a really good job and God will reward you, but if you repeat it again and again and you died without repenting then you will be in trouble.
And I dont think so that virginity means purity. Purity comes from decencey, faithfulness and honesty.
So just forget about the past and try to do good in the future.
2007-05-13 17:25:13 · answer #2 · answered by shahin_iqbal92 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
*sigh* Don't Christians just love to torture themselves over sex ...
I can't imagine what the 'mind of a virgin' could be without some damaging hypnotherapy. But as for waiting to have sex, why not?
If people can be 'born' again, I guess anything's possible.
Just because someone once did something doesn't mean that they have to behave like that every time, does it?
I hope that helps. Peace.
.
2007-05-13 18:01:33 · answer #3 · answered by Wood Uncut 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, sorry but you married that original person.
Divorce is not an easy option unless they cheated on you while still in the realtionship
The only exception is if you weren't an official Christian at the time of sex
Then you have some repenting and salvation time to do
How much is hard to say
If you lost your virginity to RAPE how long does it take you to forgive the rapist and make him a friend you have lunch with on a regular basis
2007-05-13 17:39:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
From the book, "Good news about Sex & Marriage" by Christopher West:
4. How can I regain the understanding of sex if I’ve already blown it?
In light of the redemption that Christ has won for us, nothing is completely “Blown.” Nothing we’ve ever done could possibly be more powerful than the cross of Christ. When Christ died, he took all our fallen humanity with him, and he rose from the dead so that we too could live a new life (see Rom 6:4)
Jesus became sin so that we might become the righteousness of God (see 2 Cor 5:21). This means there’s always the possibility of “renewing our minds” (see Rom 12:2). There’s always the possibility of conversion. There’s always the possibility, no matter how deep in the pit we may be, of turning around, walking, toward the light, and experiencing new life.
If I may paraphrase St. Paul’s words to the Romans: I appeal to you , in view of God’s mercy, to offer your sexuality as a living sacrifice, whole and entire to God. You need not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but you can be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will understanding and desire God’s will for your sexuality & his good, pleasing, and perfect will (see Rom 12:1-2). And living according to God’s plan will bring you the joy and happiness for which you’ve been searching your whole life.
Everything else is a sham. Yes Christ’s teachings are difficult. We should never underestimate that difficulty. How many among us, by our own strength, are able to love our enemies? I have a hard enough time trying to love my friends. How many among us, by our own strength, are able never to lust in our hearts?
It seems there’s a fundamental dilemma here. Christ holds out his will only for us to realize that we can’t live up to it. And how does Christ respond? “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Mt 19:26). Let’s pray:
Lord, please help me. Give me the grace to trust you with my whole self - all that I am, body and soul. I give you my hopes and fears, my achievements, and failings, my strengths and weaknesses, my sins, my longings, my desires - especially, right now, my sexual sins, longing, and desires. I lay them all at your feet. Help me to be the man (woman) you’re created me to be. Renew my mind that I might see the great gift of sex and marriage as you’ve created them to be. I know I cannot live your will on my own, but I trust in you to make up what I am lacking. Amen”
2007-05-13 17:36:38 · answer #5 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yup. I have the same problem. I'm not a virgin anymore, but I'm choosing to stay abstinant 'til marriage. People make mistakes, but it's never too late for repentance.
2007-05-13 21:48:44 · answer #6 · answered by wolf_howl_21 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
I am Muslim, and I think I can give you decent advise since both of our religions believe in waiting until marriage to have sex (and my best friend is a Christian woman).
I also greet you in Peace :)
It is wonderful that you have decided to follow God again and remain "chaste" until you get married. Even though you lost your virginity--its important to remember that you can still become "pure" again. In Islam, God tells us that he can purify anyone. You must remember that many people who followed God made horrible mistakes, and God forgave them and purified them. Look at King David--he actually made the horrible mistake of adultery. But because he was so sincerely sorry and he never did that agian--God forgave him and blessed him. I love King David. So, you must know that God can and will purify you. You will not physically be a virgen again--but you will become purified as time goes by.
I would strongly advise you to be careful with this relationship you are in. Oftentimes, people who decide to become abstinant make the mistake of having sex agian--because its so easy to slip up and make a mistake. One of my Christian female friends was exactly like you--she decided to become abstinant and become a devout Christian. She did really good, and then she started dating another Christian man who was abstinant too. But one night., when he went to her house -they ended up having sex. They both felt horrible afterwards. So, my warning to you is this: do not ever be alone with your boyfriend--ever. That is something that Muslims follow--never be along in a room with someone of the opposite sex that you are dating/involved with. Never, ever be alone with him---because even the strongest Christian or Muslim is still a human being with human weakness. Even Billy Graham--the popular Christian preacher--says that is golden rule is to never, ever be alone with a woman whose not his wife. He says he's even gotten off elevators with women, and people think he's crazy--but he as never cheated on his wife. We're all human.
If you want to become pure--you must not even engage in physical contact with a man--no kissing, no hugging, no touching. That may seem strange--but Muslims do not engage in physical contact with people. Many Christians--and I'm not trying to sound negative--but many Christians will say that they are "virgens" or "abstinant"--but they engage in oral sex and heavy petting--and that is Not being abstinant. My question is: what would Jesus do? Do you think Jesus would be doing those acts? Think about Jesus...So, to be pure--it must be a total process. Focus on God, pray, do good deeds, and leave your old ways behind you. You will become purified if you do those things.
Peace
_________________________
PS--and I agree with Sahin above who said that " Purity comes from decencey, faithfulness and honesty". Follow God, be a good hearted person, help people--and those things--in combination with being physically chaste--will help make you Pure again..and please ingore all the negative answers you recieved. These people are not telling you how many STD's they have, how they have herpes and genital warts, and uterine cancer--and how they've stayed up all night crying from been used and abused by different men and women who've run through them. Dont listen to them, but follow God who is leading you to an awesome life of redemption and Peace.
2007-05-13 17:36:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
What is real purity? You are it! Just know yourself as you are now. Look how far man/womankind has fallen from the truth of themselves. Mistaking themselves for just there body they create error. Taught by unworthy teachers it is not there fault. Seek the truth of yourself, do whatever it takes, drop off untruth until only the truth remains. And as quoted from a great Mystic "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free". ~ : )
2007-05-13 17:37:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Oh you religious nuts and your technical virginity fixation. Go over to the dating page, you'll read that the "virgins" do absolutely everything except actual vaginal-penis penetration. For some reason oral sex, anal sex, and just about everything else isn't considered "sex" by those folks, because they are *ahem* virgins. Right.
2007-05-13 17:19:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Ones mind is never controlled by any limitations except the ones we placed on it ourselves
2007-05-13 17:18:38 · answer #10 · answered by nikola333 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋