were both in the military and have a child together. I have govt housing and he has a room in the barracks. he stays with me because of our child. We both agreed not to have intercourse since our child was born and we wont until were married. We are both wrong in the first place for having intercourse before were married. Im trying to change my life around and set things right with god, but I want to know since were not having intercourse or anything sexual for that matter until were married if its ok hes living with me.
2007-05-13 09:15:19 · 17 answers · asked by militarychick03 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
" I " won't say it's wrong ... but you could be doing better for yourself, child, and future family. Here's what I found in the book, "The Good News about Sex and Marriage" by Christopher West which may give a better explaination on why you could improve your situation and what marriage means to Christains:
"2. Marriage certificate.
When a bride and groom stand at the altar and declare their consent before the Church, it’s not merely a formal recognition of something that already exists between them. At the moment they give their consent, bride and groom are fundamentally changed. They become right then and there (and only then and there) husband and wife. What did not exist five minutes before does exist now- a marital bond sealed by the Holy Spirit that, once consummated, can never be dissolved by anything but death.
Sexual intercourse is the expression of this bond. It’s the visible sign of this invisible reality. If this bond doesn’t exist between a man and a woman, sexual intercourse between them is utterly void of its ‘raison d’etre.’
Regardless of how much passion, feeling, and sentiment may be involved, such acts of intercourse can never be acts of true love. If the couple understand what sex and marriage mean, and live out of respect for that meaning, then the thought that they would have sex before God establishes the marriage bond between them (via their consent) is unthinkable.
A couple who is regularly engaging in sex before they marry, and sees nothing wrong with it, demonstrates that they don’t understand the meaning of sex and marriage. Such a couple will most likely fail to comprehend the significance of the marriage bond altogether. They’ll tend to reduce the change in their relationship to a piece of paper --- a “Marriage Certificate” --- and continue having sex as they always did.
The fact that the couple is now married does not automatically make their sexual union what it’s supposed to be. Sex is only what it’s supposed to be if it expresses the commitment to free, total, faithful, and fruitful self-giving. There are many married couples who have plenty of sex that actually violates their own wedding vows. The fact that it’s happening after the wedding has taken place doesn’t make it OK.
Instead of framing the discussion in terms of premarital sex vs. post marital sex, it’s much more accurate to speak of non-marital sex vs. marital sex. It’s impossible for unmarried ppl to have marital sex. They have no marriage bond to express, no wedding vows to renew. On the other hand, while the existence of marriage bond is no guarantee that sex will always be marital, it is absolute prerequisite for the possibility."
2007-05-13 09:22:06 · answer #1 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to be honest here and say that I am living with my fiance. It was for financial reasons and we too have agreed to abstain from sex until marriage. We know in our hearts that we shouldn't be living together as Christians until we are married, yet we are doing it. We look forward to our wedding day next weekend when we CAN enjoy the fruits of our relationship the way God intended without feeling the shame as Christians of feeling that we are sinning. I certainly can't say it is wrong, because look at me. I can only tell you that the Bible frowns upon this. I would encourage you both, if you love each other, to get married ASAP so that you can feel better in your hearts and you won't feel the shame that you seem to be feeling by this question. If you want a big wedding, go for it, but if you want to be married privately beforehand so that you can feel good about your living arrangements, then you can go to a courthouse and pay about $50 for a marriage license and $50 for the judge to marry you (it varies by state and region). Then you can have the elaborate wedding ceremony with family and friends later. Many courthouses will allow the elaborate ceremonies there at the courthouse even.
People might not like my answer, but I'm only trying to answer in a way that I think applies to what you are asking. You will get no judgment from me, but I would suggest that you find a way to be married soon in order to feel that you are doing the right thing by God's standards. God Bless You both.
2007-05-13 09:29:02 · answer #2 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually,you are brave to admit that you are wrong. I myself thank you personally coz you give me hope in life. you should not make love until you are married. Actually,it is not Okay to live with him. but if you are sure that you will not have any knid of intercourse may God bless you and guide you to the right way.Thanx again....
2007-05-13 09:25:59 · answer #3 · answered by zein_egypt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you reside with all people (roommate or boyfriend/female pal, fiance/fiancee, husband/spouse) expenditures must be chop up 50/50. What makes you think of it quite is incorrect? you're merely attempting to get out of your person household projects and in case you will not be able to deal with paying your 0.5 of the expenditures, then you quite're in a international of hardship. that's what becoming up skill. you reside on your place merely as much as he does...you utilize the warmth, the water, the electrical powered energy merely as much as he does. for this reason, you pay 0.5 of each and every bill, which includes groceries. that is what becoming up and being an person skill.
2017-01-09 18:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Titus 3:1: “Continue reminding them to be in subjection and be obedient to governments and authorities as rulers.” (When people heed these instructions, the name of each party to the union is kept above reproach, and any children are spared the reproach that falls on those whose parents are not married. Additionally, legal registration of the marriage safeguards the property rights of family members in the event of death of one of the mates.)
Heb. 13:4: “Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.” (Getting legally married plays an important part in having a marriage that is accepted as being “honorable.” When defining “fornication” and “adultery,” we should keep in mind what is stated at Titus 3:1, quoted above.)
1 Pet. 2:12-15: “Maintain your conduct fine among the nations, that, in the thing in which they are speaking against you as evildoers, they may as a result of your fine works of which they are eyewitnesses glorify God in the day for his inspection. For the Lord’s sake subject yourselves to every human creation: whether to a king as being superior or to governors as being sent by him to inflict punishment on evildoers but to praise doers of good. For so the will of God is, that by doing good you may muzzle the ignorant talk of the unreasonable men.
2007-05-13 09:23:39 · answer #5 · answered by sxanthop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you're legalistic; For only law(legalism) makes anything a sin (crime), anyone a sinner (criminal).
His Grace does not:
- accuse (John 5:45) anyone
- condemn (John 3:17; John 8:3-11) anyone
- fault-find (Hebrews 8); only faulty law does
- impute sin (Romans 4:15; 5:13; 2Corinthians 5:19)
The GRACE of our Lord Jesus Christ with you all. Amen.
2007-05-13 09:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to this question depends somewhat on what is meant by “living together.” If it means having sexual relations – it is definitely sinful. Premarital sex is repeatedly condemned in Scripture along with all other forms of sexual immorality (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13,18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence outside of (and before) marriage. Sex before marriage is just as wrong as adultery and other forms of sexual immorality, because they all involve having sex with someone you are not married to.
If "living together" means living in the same house, that is perhaps somewhat of a different issue. Ultimately, there is nothing wrong for a man and a woman to live in the same house – IF there is nothing immoral taking place. However, the problem arises in that there is still the appearance of immorality (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3) and it will be a tremendous temptation for immorality. The Bible tells us to flee immorality, not expose ourselves to constant temptations to immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Then there is the problem of appearances. A couple that is living together is assumed to be sleeping together – that is just the nature of things. Even though living in the same house is not sinful in and of itself, the appearance of sin is being given. The Bible tells us to avoid the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3), to flee from immorality, and not to cause anyone to stumble or be offended. As a result, it is not honoring to God for a couple to live together before marriage.
Recommended Resource: Why True Love Waits by Josh McDowell.
2007-05-13 09:18:48 · answer #7 · answered by Freedom 7 · 2⤊ 4⤋
I am not Christian and won't claim to be so I think it really depends on how YOU feel about it.
If you feel guilty and feel that it is against what you believe in then it probably is wrong but if you feel okay with it then I'd say it isn't. Search your heart and you will find the answer.
2007-05-13 09:24:03 · answer #8 · answered by )0( Cricket Song 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is commendable to live together; a child needs a father. It is wrong to avoid sex: it is the basic glue of any relationship. In few species of animals is the female sexually receptive at all times; the exceptions are those (such as us) in which raising the young takes a lot of time and effort, and sex has the evolutionary advantage of helping to hold the family together.
2007-05-13 09:21:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you are living together and not having sex then yes it's wrong. Please come back to reality. You had sex before, you have a kid (that's wonderful) you live together. Go ahead and live a normal life with sex. You cannot pretend that you are virgins can you ? So go ahead and have a good time.
2007-05-13 10:45:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋