He died in Dec. 31yrs old. How can help her handle today?I am going there for a BBQ and I am the only other child. I am 35. What can I say to ease the pain she must be feeling?
2007-05-13 05:32:27 · 8 answers · asked by HethLN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It will be hard for all of you. There are no magic words to ease the pain except that you are there to love her and also to help keep his memory alive. May God bless you all.
2007-05-13 05:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your family's loss.
I, too, became an only child when my brother died. That was back in the summer of 2000, and I can honestly tell you that I was mortified when Mother's Day rolled around the following year. I didn't know what to say or do, and I knew that that was one day when she must be feeling her loss very keenly.
The stark truth is that there is absolutely nothing you can say or do to make up for the loss of a sibling, especially when you are the only one left. I am so sorry to tell you this, but she is going to feel that loss and pain every single day for the rest of her life. All you can do is tell her and show her that you love her. You can never make up for her loss. Just tell her that you, too, are thinking about him, and missing him, and leave it at that. There are absolutely no words for the situation. I wish there were, but I know now there aren't.
I wish I could tell you something else, something better, or more useful, but I can't. She will draw special comfort from you, so be there for her. That's all you can do.
Be well,
Bronwen
2007-05-13 05:50:36 · answer #2 · answered by Bronwen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think just being with her is terrific. Everyone will know who is missing. But that shouldnt deter from the fact that she is a wonderful mother of TWO! If she is a person who likes to talk about it, then just listen and let her talk and say that he is still with her and what a perfect mother she was to your brother and how you feel sorry he died. However, if she doesnt want to talk about it or seems to be not ready to, dont bring it up. We are all going to die and so its nice if we can move forward, enjoying the time we still do have together with laughter and caring, no? My condolences to your family.
2007-05-13 05:48:32 · answer #3 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your cue from her; if she's showing how sad she is, offer to talk things over with her, or just listen. If she seems to be handling this day with strength, follow her lead and do as she does.
Just be there and love her. Acknowledge that your brother is gone, but do whatever you can to make her day as special as he would have wanted. Your being with her will help ease her pain.
2007-05-13 05:44:58 · answer #4 · answered by MomBear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not ignore the fact that she had another child....I would maybe toast to her and tell her that you know "your brother" is looking down from heaven and sending her many mothers day wishes...and that she was a fantastic mother to the both of you...it will be hard for her no matter what but it will be harder if everyone ignores the fact she had 2 sons
2007-05-13 05:37:17 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am very sorry for your loss. there really isn't anything you can say to ease her pain. she'll have to go through it. this is a year of firsts for you and your family. all the first times w/o your bro. it may sound morbid to some but, you could offer to take her to the cemetery to visit your brother's grave. it may help.bring some flowers and talk about him. it may get her to smile.
2007-05-13 05:41:32 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you understand how much of a void is it but that with the two of you You will keep his memory alive and try and remember the good times that you were so blessed to have had him in your lives.
2007-05-13 05:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by Gypsy Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry!! I must know how you feel and yes I do!!
Just hang in there and think of how nice it is and how great he was!! And give your mom a big hug!!
2007-05-13 05:39:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋