I was raped at 13. I am now 22 and I don’t think I’ll ever have a normal relationship, because I’ve completely gone of sex and what guys going to want a girl who doesn’t want sex?
2007-05-13 05:31:43 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You might want to seek some professional counseling. My daughter was raped by her 16 year old cousin when she was 11 and didn't even tell me about it. I only know because I found a letter that she'd written to a classmate when she was 16 where she'd talked about a sexual encounter that she'd just had with this boyfriend of hers. Since then she has had several relationships and has no hangups about the rape and it hasn't curbed her needs at all. She's 20 now. She didn't get counseling though because she had me! It had been years since the rape happened and I've been her support and she managed to get over the incident herself. If you don't want sex then don't feel pressured or forced to have it. You'll only be hurting yourself. There is no rule or law that says you have to be in a relationship in the first place. I've been on my own for almost 22 years and I haven't missed anything good. Be confident in yourself and live your life as you see fit and don't worry about some man.
2007-05-13 05:39:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you have had counselling regarding that ordeal. Unfortunately, there are many women like yourself. Talking ,even anonymously with another in your predicament will help. You can have a normal relationship and experience love making with your partner if you so choose. You want a husband, family i am sure. Plus, sex with your partner is a bond. Take your time, find the right guy. Don't rob yourself of one of lifes sacred pleasures, Because of some inhumane, heartless abnormal being. Start now...and may the wind be at your back !
2007-05-13 06:01:39 · answer #2 · answered by nutcracker 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-21 12:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sam..I am sure that you could probably have a normal relationship somewhere down the line...being rapped at such a young age is harder to re coop from than from an older age... if that makes sense to you. Given your age now I would take the time to find a quality guy and they are not easy to find since sex seems to be the biggest thing out there now for dating and relationships, but you really need to trust and feel comfortable enough with someone not only to share the intimacy with but you will have to tell him what happened to you, how it made you feel and what is and is not okay to do with you. If you need someone to talk to you can email me
2007-05-13 05:48:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Rape victims can definitely have normal relationships.
Any kind of trauma, health, criminal, etc. can change the way people feel about intimacy. It can be difficult to readjust without professional help.
Have you seen a counselor about this? There are alot of knowledgeable professionals out there who specialize in helping people find their way back to a healthy, satisfying lifestyle.
Definitely do not settle for this if you haven't had help. No one can be expected to "fix" these things themselves. It would be like performing surgery on yourself and then being disappointed when it turns out poorly. :)
2007-05-13 05:37:34 · answer #5 · answered by rbanzai 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Let me first say,I'm sorry for what has happened to you.I'm also sorry for your loss.YOur virginity should have been given away to someone you loved,instead it was stolen from you.I hope whoever committed this atrocity against your body and indeed your soul has been incarcerated for a very,VERY long time.
Now,I'm aware that it is a common occurrence that women who have been raped have an aversion to sex,And this is truly,absolutely understandable.I think you need to find someone that you can connect with on every level of emotionality before moving to a physical plane.Once you can understand that what happened to you is NOT your fault,and that whoever you choose to have a relationship with is NOT the man that hurt you can you begin to strive for a physical relationship.Conquer your mind my dear.
I wish you well,and again,I'm sorry.
2007-05-13 05:40:28 · answer #6 · answered by E 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i'm really sorry about what happened, but i honestly think that you'll have a normal relationship. i know girls who were raped and went on to have happy marriages and children. it just takes time to come to terms with it. i think that seeing a councillor could really help...getting over it on your own is a big thing. and when you find the right guy, if you still don't want sex he'll love you for you
2007-05-13 05:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by xangel123x 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is possible, but it will take time to work through the issues of trust and to want to have a normal sexual relationship again. You might want to seek professional help to assist you in getting to that point. The rapist took a lot from you already. Don't let him deprive you of a normal relationship for the rest of your life. Good luck to you!
2007-05-13 05:35:10 · answer #8 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i had a horrible experience also, i got help but i still have something that bother me in the sexual arena. you have to be up front and honest with your partner tell him your situation(if you can, but you should only try this with a man you trust) but you can't expect a man to go without sex all together. thats not fair. here honesty is the best policy. maybe go to couples therapy to be able to establish a healthy sexual relationship that can help you not remember the past and him be able to love you mind, body, and soul. help is out there girl, just stay strong. one thing that helped me was to remember that sex needs to be thought of as the deepest act of love, not something out of hate or pain. i hope everything goes better for you!
2007-05-13 05:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well,you can have a normal relationship,or atleast normal if you just give it a try.Try finding a guy that will wait for as much time as you need to get intimate again.And when you meet someone it's conciderable to tell them that you need time because you were raped,I'm shure the guy who will be the one will understand.
2007-05-13 05:35:16 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋