funny? or not?

Question

Good Advice

Some wisdom that you guys considering to get married have to have in mind.

For you that are already married, I assume you did the right thing. I was happy. My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, quite much indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, quite obviously too, and made me feel uncomfortable. One day, she called me and asked me to come over, to check the invitations. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she can't overcome. So before I get married and commit my life to her daughter, she wants to make love to me just once...

What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just come and get me. I just watched her delicious behind as she went up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the front door... I opened it, and stepped out of the house.

Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, 'we are very happy and pleased, you have passed our little test. We couldn't have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!'

Lesson learned: Always keep your condoms in your car.

Answer 1

Yes this is funny man i love it and good job man because you rocks you really did hit the spot with this one man way to go because i just can not stop laughing at your joke man and thanks for making me laugh man because i really did enjoy it and plus i had just gave you a star because i really do love your joke lol 10/10.

Answer 2

I haven't laughed so hard in a while man. LOL. Thank you.

Here's something in return.

One fine day, John was at a used bike sale. He saw this beautiful Hog in mint condition on sale for only $1000. All the chromes were sparkling shiny for its age so he asked the owner before he buys how he maintained the bike so well. The owner said make sure you lube them up with Vaseline before it rains.

With his shiny Hog, John picks up Jane, his girl friend, and went to visit her parents. When the time for the dinner came, Jane pulls John aside and tells him a very unusual family tradition. "We never say a word while we are dining!". "In fact, if you speak during the dinner, you have to do all the dishes that have been accumulated over all these years"
Thinking Jane was joking, John enters the kichthen to find a huge pile of dishes that filled almost entire kicthen except for the dinner tables.

After about 10 min of silent dinner, John was curious to see how far these people will go to avoid doing dishes and hence avoid talking. So John suddenly had his hand on Jane's bra. He looked at her parents. They looked quite upset but didn't say anything. He ended up doing her right there on the table and he didn't hear a peep out of Jane's parents and also Jane ^^;. After they were done, he looked across the table and thought Jane's mom was kinda hot. I mean he already did the damage anyhow so he decided to take on Jane's mom this time. The dad will be sure to freak out this time, John thought. So he comes over the table and totally violated Jane's mom. Jane and her dad's faces were totally red, meanwhile Jane's mom had her hand over her mouth not to make any noise. It was hilarious.
When John was almost done this time, he hears a thunder so he quickly "pulls out" and reach for the Vaseline in his jacket cuz he wanted lube the bike before it really starts to rain.

And suddenly something happened that broke the 20 some years of tradition. Dad got up and screamed: "OK. Where are the freaking gloves? For god's sake, I'll do the dishes, OK?" and started doing the dishes.

Answer 3

Very good. I went to the pharmacy and asked for a packet of condoms/ "Do you want a packet of three?" He asked. "Or a packet of four and be one jump ahead!"

Answer 4

very good i found that hilarious anyone who didn't must be a proud.and a very good lesson learned need to keep than in mind ha ha

Answer 5

rofl. that whole thing i thought should be in the like dating section, except for the last line, that actually made me lol.

Answer 6

did that really happen?im such a blonde

Answer 7

funny

Answer 8

lol that was funny..... but the lesson was random lol

Answer 9

hahahahaha thats a really really really good one!!!

Answer 10

that's pretty funny