How many children have I had?

Question

I lost my first child when I was five months pregnant. Since then I have had another child and am expecting twins. When people ask me how many children I have, I'm not sure whether to say two and expecting twins, I have one child and expecting twins or should I say I lost a child, have one, and am expecting twins. I'm just not sure how to respond.

Answer 1

you don't need to tell people that you've lost one, it does not need to come up in everyday conversation. Now if you become close to that person go ahead and tell them. but do you want everyone to fill sorry for you all the time? i think not

Answer 2

You have one child, are expecting twins and if they are close enough to remember the first pregnancy or are a good friend you feel like confiding in - you lost a child. The loss of a child is a deeply personal and private experience and many people will be taken aback by this disclosure. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Hi,

I too lost a baby girl at 5 months. I now have a 5 and a half year old son. When people ask me how many children I have, I have to do a quick mental check of how well I know that person and why they are asking the question. If it is a stranger, I don't go into my life history. Sometimes I'll say "I had two, but one died" but I don't say that to a stranger, I'll say that to someone I am getting to know better.

Hugs to you. I know that it is still hard and you must think about your other child and all the 'could have beens and would be's' years later.

Answer 4

it would depend on who was asking if it was me, just some one asking say they are your first, chances are the people who love you already know about your loss, and people who are asking are only wondering how many siblings the twins will have, i don't see the need to get into it all, i am sorry about your loss but the twins will be too young to understand, when they are two and people ask if they are your only 2 in front of them, what will you say>? i really do not think it is necessary, it is a horrible loss and it was your child you loss but try to focus on the bueatiful twins you are about to have and there feelings

Answer 5

I really think its nobody's business that you lost a child. Just say you have 1 and are expecting twins.

Answer 6

why would you bring up your loss? It's so depressing! I have twins and lost another baby at 3 months pregnant. When people ask I say that I have two children. There's no need to keep bringing up the tragedy.

Answer 7

I have one child who is alive and I lost my second. When people ask, I tell them I have one child. I don't feel like going into the "I'm sorry", "how did it happen?", " how does you husband feel?". Although, they are being concerned, I just don't want to have to explain it all again. Usually the only time I bring it up is when people ask "Why only one child? You need to have more".
It's a personal decision. That's just how I deal with it.

Answer 8

tell them i have one child , and i am expecting twins. Out of respect for the lost child, say i lost a child,when i was 5 months.

Answer 9

When they ask how many children you HAVE, the answer is "one", depending on who they are, you can add that you are expecting twins. Not to sound cruel but most people don't want to hear about miscarriages, stillbirths and abortions. I wish you all the best with the twins!

Answer 10

I had the same thing happen to me...I just say I have 2 children and I tell people I lost my first baby, if I get to know them better and feel comfortable....I have been pregnant 3 times.....alot of times if you come right out with it people don't know how to reply to that...I found it easier to keep it for people who can relate and understand