My fiancee and I have been engaged for almost 4 years and the wedding is more than a year away, yet after all these years her parents are not treating us or the occasion with excitement. They keep telling her to wait longer. She is 22 and fairly young. It breaks my heart the way her parents just blow off her pleas for help at planning the wedding. Maybe we should elope? She doesn't want to do that because she wants their support. Her parents do like me but I think that they believe she can do better. What do we do?
2007-05-13 02:10:19 · 9 answers · asked by salieri.mozart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My mother passed away and my father is out of the picture.
2007-05-13 02:16:10 · update #1
First of all, I apologize that you are going through this. I went through the same thing. My parents did not like my fiance and didn't want me to marry him. My mom didn't help me plan anything unless it was on her timeline and I couldn't bring any of my bridesmaids with me. Then I finally stopped asking her because I couldn't wait on her forever and I was accused of being selfish, etc. There's really not anything your finacee can do to make them excited. Perhaps if she would sit down with them and point out how they are making her feel, they would understand that they are hurting her. If that doesn't work, I say, carry on without them. Once you're married, it's all about you and her, not her parents. Good Luck!!
2007-05-13 02:16:56 · answer #1 · answered by jwurz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Her parents might just eing afraid that she is still young to know what she really wants to do with the rest of her life. Waiting for their support might never happen, did you sit your fiance' down and ask her is this an excuse forus to keep push the wedding back? Maybe her parents aren't the only problem. because if she loves you and you want to elope than she'll be willing to elope to prove a point to her parents. the point she'll be proving is that she loves you and will follow any where and than maybe they'll finally come around. Maybe her parents are afraid that they are losing their little girl.
2007-05-13 10:16:34 · answer #2 · answered by tasheema22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just think that girls at 22 change by the time they are 30. I wonder how old you are. I bet you are older. I think her parents just want her to be mature enough to know what she is doing thats all. Dont take it personally. If she has been with you since age 18 then she hasnt dated many people to know herself. If you want a stable marriage, I would say wait a while and respect that her parents have the wisdom of age as well as a better knowledge of their own daughter. What if you took a break just to be sure this is right? I know its difficult but I am just trying to avoid a divorce later on. Whatever you do, God Bless You
2007-05-13 11:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT elope, it will only make matters worse &
cause fights between all of you ( I know someone who did that)
they are just concerned because MOST people that get married @ that age end up divorcing
some churches give premarital classes why not try that & see if that will put her parent's minds
@ ease
best of luck & do what you know is right
2007-05-13 09:15:48 · answer #4 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make her parents act the way you want to, so the two of you will just have to push forward. I know it's a tough situation, but maybe a close friend of your fiance or another family member can jump in and help her plan the wedding.
2007-05-13 09:33:39 · answer #5 · answered by Lele44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely they are just worried about you getting married so young. Although you have waited a long time and are over 21 in their minds, you are still to young.
Her parents may come around once it gets a little closer, but in the meantime, can your mother help her or a sister or close friend?
As much as she would like their blessing, she is marrying you.......... and you two will be family. You two should plan it together.
2007-05-13 09:14:32 · answer #6 · answered by mrsmommaid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ask for support. If you dont recieve it, then go on and let her have her day. Maybe they are not aware that this is bothering her. Do not elope, let her have her day, that is important to her. Remind her that she is what is important.
2007-05-13 12:05:35 · answer #7 · answered by mamatucker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just elope it is cheaper and less stress for all that are involved . I mean me and my husband did that and are forever glad that we did .
2007-05-13 10:16:30 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she may never get their support... tell her to pla her own, small wedding...
2007-05-13 09:14:12 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋