My mom is demon possessed. She's meek & mild for the most part, but when its time to take her in for her dialysis treatment she becomes evil & curses, & throws things & I just leave. Then I cry because its too frustrating. She's 80 now,but looks 60. I monitor her literally over 20 medications a day, handle paying her bills, take her to dinner & just usually spend evenings together, but I am suppose to take her to her treatments twice a week, my sister takes her once, my niece picks her up from her treatments, & we usually try to share taking her to the dr appts. But its getting to me. My husband & I took her back east for her 80th bday to see my other sister.She's miserable, vocal, doesn't care what she says to who. I want to surrender this responsibility but I don't know to who or how? My nephew is all talk,but is too busy to take this responsibility on. My older sister does what she says she can,& I'm the only one to do all of this. I can't do it anymore. Please offer sound advice?
2007-05-13 01:01:41 · 16 answers · asked by Fey 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
Look, the reason why she needs dialysis may be contributing to her behaviour. That is, dialysis removes the build up of waste products in the blood. Thus build up may be cause her to feel bad, and act in the way she does.
Try to share the responsiblity - and check with the dialysis center to see if there are something like 'medical taxis' in the area - there often is.
2007-05-13 01:15:09 · answer #1 · answered by Daniel F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-15 16:12:35 · answer #2 · answered by Lorene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is either putting on a show, in order to get sympathy and attention, or she's not, and she's being abusive to her family. Find a care facility, get the pamphlets and take a tour. Then tell her that her behavior has to stop, or you (all) will be forced to move her there. If it's a facade she may change her tune. It's alright to admit you can't take care of her, most people hire a day nurse at some point. Unless you are trained as a nurse, things will probably get more and more difficult to handle. Have your family pool together what money they normally spend on gas, food, restaraunts per week, and use that to find a care home or hire a nurse. Once she realizes she is being cruel and you want nothing to do with it she may try a different tactic. One question: are you tired of her behavior, or tired of all the responsibility? It seems like your question is in two parts. You also seem a little bitter about your other family not having as much responsibility as you.
2007-05-13 01:35:57 · answer #3 · answered by waitingwillfill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a dialysis tech and I have to deal with patients like your mom 3 times a week only thing u are with her all day long and I can only imagine. It depends on how feed up you really are if you think u still got enough in you try to hold out because you know nothing last forever but if you feel you are at your wits end then place her in a long term facility. my mom had to place my grand dad in one and it was hard on our family but when he could not walk any more she knew she had done all that she could and everyone knew they was not going to take on he responsibility, it was no problem for our family. So try to have a family meeting wit your family first and see how they feel then have a family meeting at the dialysis clinic and together I know you guys will come up with the best decision.
good luck
2007-05-19 12:05:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dialysis can make a person feel very sick and tired. Is she communicating with the medical professionals? Understanding why she is feeling this way may help you respond better. This might be why she acts out.
If you just can't do it, then ask family members to take your two "shifts." Maybe nephew can take one, and sis can take the other? Just tell them you need some help, that your load is too heavy, too much to do, etc. Straight and to the point...just ask someone else. I'm sorry, I know it's hard to watch a loved one go through this.
2007-05-13 01:13:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom has medical insurance, call them you'll need her information, including her ID on some cards it will be her social security number or a plan number. Find out if they have any kind of care giver service, where a nurse or a helper can take her to dialysis. and possibly stay with her and give her the meds she needs, speak to her doctors about this also they would have to sign papers and my have some suggestions on where to go from here. I'm sorry your not getting enough help and support from your family. I hope this helps. I hope your mom feels better and you get the help you need. Good Luck.
2007-05-18 10:52:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is tough being a caregiver to a parent. They have been the ones to take car of you ,now it has reversed. You are burned out, see if some one can take your place for a few days., that will help. See if yopu can get counseling for you self and you Mother. sYour Mother is just a frustrated as you are. If she is living on her own Mabe a seanors home might be the answer. None of what I said is easy. but I went through this YOu will meke it. God bless the care giver, YOU.
2007-05-13 01:14:29 · answer #7 · answered by pigwell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it is very stressful to care for an elderly parent and dialysis can be painful causing cramping in the legs feet. my mom was on them for nine years which is unsual, I feel sorry for her, maybe you have a hospital transportation system that will take her to and from, if you have enough money you could get her an aide to help her out, look into the county agencies and see if she qualifies for help. this will give you a break. i am a homehealth aide and love it! been doing this for over 20 yrs. try this.
2007-05-19 11:06:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a rest. See if your local hospital has "respite care"; that's where the patient is checked in for a day (or so) so that the care giver (you) can have a break.
Check these sites:
http://www.helpguide.org/elder/respite_care.htm
http://www.eldercarelink.com/Default.aspx?group=svc&cpgn=hom&source=google&code=05204
http://www.respitelocator.org/index.htm?gclid=COXe9oaVnIwCFShTUAodehFo3Q
Also, sounds like your mother may have Alzheimers. That would explain the evil, cursing, throwing things, saying anything to anybody. Have her doctor (hopefuly a gerintalogist, and doctor for the elderly) check her.
And God bless you.
2007-05-19 19:59:25 · answer #9 · answered by GalfromCal_NM_TX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to the social worker assigned to the dialysis unit where your mom goes., ASAP.
It would probably be a good idea to speak with the doctor as well. Something might be going on that can be helped.
2007-05-13 02:07:42 · answer #10 · answered by veronicawilliams1969 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋