My boyfriend and I were together 6 months and everything was going amazingly well, we were so in love, then he dumps me out of the blue. Things were getting serious (you know when you get sensitive to the other person, little things hurt your feelings) and he got freaked out. He begged for me back that night. Everything was going really well again and he dumped me randomly a week later. I later found out from a mutual friend he was telling people he found it overwhelming to feel so strongly about someone and it scared him.
He begged for me back again, sounded really positive this time. Said he was 110% commited to me and i was the best thing to happen to him and he was sorry it ever happened.
Now 2 months later he's just broken up with me again. Basically for the same reasons. He cried when he did it. Admittedly he has a LOT of stuff going on in his life right now, worries. Major family problems, worried about doing his post-grad, his grades aren't high enough...
2007-05-13 00:53:29 · 7 answers · asked by Chasey Lane 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I knew all this stuff before he broke up with me and i made clear how supportive i was
.But people say if he loves you, a guy would never break up with you. Did he love me at all? i know i sound like i'm answering my own question here but i'm not!! we're 21.
i hear alot of people saying the fact that it's first love has something to do with it. neither of us click with people, like people, or fall easily. but what does it being FIRST love have to do with it?
I can't "be there for him" right now because he has his finals and i have college exams too, we're waiting until they're over to talk again. He wants to meet up and talk about things then. When we broke up the last time it was emotional and i was very angry, so it was left badly. but i think that's forgotten.
I said to him "are you sure you don't just want a break? because i can't get back with you if you break up with me again". he said "...it's a real break".
he wasn't planning on breaking up that day. it was rash.
2007-05-13 00:53:47 · update #1
i remember when we left he said "your friends can say what they want about me, but know why i'm doing this." and i was left there thinking "do YOU know why you're doing this?!
i was told by the girlfriend of his friend that when she was told about me, all his friends were like "we've never seen him commit to ANYTHING like this before, it's so weird".
so yeah, i know he has commitment problems. probably because his parents have the messiest divorce EVER.
but i mean, did he REALLY love me?! i have no closure. i miss him so much.
2007-05-13 00:56:01 · update #2
I am sorry that this happened. Hold your head up high and do what you need to get through your college exams. After exams, go for a vacation to clear your head.
It sounds like this guy has too much going on in his head. He could have a fear of commitment. He could have fears from his parents divorce. If he has never been in a serious relationship, everything he is feeling could be overwhelming him. First love is so intense and it can be very scary feeling that way.
With that said, do you want to be with someone who has lied to you and plays emotional games with you? There is no garuntee that in a week or even a month, he won't breakup with you. He word means nothing because he has broken his promise to you twice. Until he gets some counseling and gets over his fears, he will never be able to fully commit to you. I'm sure he loves you but that isn't enough to keep a relationship together.
If it were me, I would write him a letter telling him goodbye. Tell him you hope he finds peace and happiness in his life. Tell him that if you become friends in the future, that is good. But you can't do it now because he has hurt you too much.
Mail the letter. Then go home for the summer, go to New Orleans and help build homes, go travel in another country. Do something to get your mind off this guy so you can clear your head.
Ask yourself what you would tell a friend if she was going through the same thing. Would you tell her to hang on and keep taking him back? Or would you tell her to move on?
If you too are meant to be together, it will happen. Don't put your life on hold waiting for the reunion. Live life, be happy and one day you will look back on this relationship as a stepping stone to a healthy and happy new relationship.
2007-05-13 01:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by Holly C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First Loves are the hardest because the emotions are new and unfamiliar. Some cling too much and others feel overwhelmed by the emotional state that love puts you into. You should only follow your heart. If you can stand to be apart , then maybe the love wasn't strong enough. But remember , he has to feel the same in order for it ever to work out. Love comes from the heart and relationships take work. Loving is the easy part, the hard part is the understanding, caring, and commitment. You both have to love deep enough to get through the hard parts in other words. I hope this helps, take care.
2007-05-13 08:15:36 · answer #2 · answered by lizzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you consider yourself as the blind idiotic fool in this relationship?... you are the pillar in this relationship so you have to be cool and stay strong, practice tough love as taught by Dr. James Dobson at Focus on the Family.... if he was the one who broke-off the relationship, you can remain friends and give him the space and time he needs to sort out his confusion... i know it is difficult BUT don't go suggesting to him you want to get back together... let him come back to you when he's ready, and take him back only if you think he is no longer wishy-washy... BUT do not hold your breath in waiting to get back with him because you may be closing off other better opportunities. Good luck!
2007-05-13 08:12:43 · answer #3 · answered by Maikah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he does have lotsa things goin on in his life...he has to concentrate in his exam to ensure a better future...he's got family problems...well maybe he's been alone all his life n has never let any1 in his "space"..having u in his space n actually having so much emotions for u actually made him scared coz perhaps he's nvr gone thru anything like tht....guys are weird...but as far as i have read, he does love u...coz he's cried for u...crying is like a "dignity" issue for guys..they dont usually do it...but he did....he does love u....he does need u by his side....go give him a big hug....he's just an underloved guy, whos not used to being in love.....n i guess he was overwhelmed by how much u love him n how much he loves u...
2007-05-13 08:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by sue poey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey he may love you but has a lot of baggage so let him go and let him stay gone.. and LATER much later if he comes back to you then you will know for sure.... but don't sit around waiting for him to call or don't take him back right away.. its not fair to you and your heart either....
2007-05-13 08:00:00 · answer #5 · answered by panda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the question again? By the way your name is awesome, she is a pretty hot porn star. Nice!!
2007-05-13 07:57:46 · answer #6 · answered by CSM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he isnt ready for a committment... let him go!
2007-05-13 07:56:33 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋