Please help me!! I am at my wits end. I have a 15 yr old girl with and attitude like nobodies business.?

Question

*1. She has no respect *2. she ran up the cell phone bill to 2,000.00 *3. she said she hates me and the family. she says that she doesnt want to live with us and she hopes I die soon.
*4. she is on the phone all day (literally) or on the computer or both. *5. I overheard her giving a fake name on the phone. *6. I dont know what she does online because she password protects everything. *7. she gets an attitude about everything. *8 i firmly beleive that her eyes are going to get stuck in the back of her head. *9. my 11 year old son says that he loves her but does not want to live with her.
*10. my 24 year old daughter move back home to go to college and has been her 2 weeks. She wants to move out already because she says that although she loves my teen, she cant deal with my teens attitude. *11)her response to everything is "I dont care" or "whatever". *12) she walks away from me while i am talking to her and talks back.
I AM AT MY WITS END! WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!

Answer 1

Time to whip out the belt and beat some teenage girl butt.

Answer 2

Okay Im not a very old person but I am quite wise when it comes to raising kids and If my child, who I provide for and let use the telephone and the computer acted up like that I would beat the brakes off her behind. There is no reason for you as, a mother tobe disrespected that way in your on house by your own child who isnt an adult. If your older daughter doesnt do it then why should she. I thnik that you should let her know that until she is an adult and pays the bills and raises kids then she should have the authority to have an attitude. Your a mother and a woman and what you say goes period and end of story. If she ran my bill up then she wouldn't have a phone until she either payed the bill or purchased her own and same for the computer. You are her mother not a dog you need to put your foot down and tell her, no show her who's boss.

Answer 3

She's going thru the typical teenage years. Shes feeling as isolated as ever and she has many problems that she feels she cant tell u about b/c u might lecture her for hours. Dont do that. Yell at her short and get straight to the point.

If u think shes doing something inapropriate on the comouter, check. If she isnt, it is normal for a 15 year old to spend so much time on the PC

Maybe take her cellphone away and let her only use it for a precise amount of time. But DONT take her computer away. that will make her sadder and more depressed. it wont help. it will just make her "hate" u more.

Be patient. Dont at childish and ask why shes doing this, u already know (shes a teen!!!). Be a parent. Set reasonable rules for her, but not rules to punish her. Dont be her friend. She might find u annoying that way.

GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 4

Take away ALL privileges! Cell phone, everything! Don't give her any money! Provide bread and lunch meat for her to take a sandwich to school for lunch. Don't buy her any clothes unless she has outgrown something and then only buy her the cheapest replacement. She has to come home straight from school and stay there. No TV, no computer, no cell phone, not anything. You have to be strong about this.

If you are a single mother, you may have to put the TV and computer in storage. Take her cell phone away and put it in your car or somewhere else she can't get at it.

Only when she starts to obey you and treat you with respect does she get 1 privilege back. The longer she obeys you and treats you with respect, the more privileges she gets back.

As soon as she disobeys or does not treat you with respect, she loses privileges. You will have to be firm with this and weather the storm.

The reason that she is like this is because you allow her to treat you like this.

Yelling at your daughter will not help, neither will it be good for you to criticize her as a person. Only tell her what behavior is acceptable and which is not. Do not argue with her and expect her to change her behavior from this, she will only try to manipulate you. Only positive and negative consequences change behavior.

Do not try to be her friend. Be her parent.

Answer 5

Take away her cell phone or get a suitable plan that will end at least the $2000.00 bill issue.

Put the computer where you can suppervise it. Set the time for phone talk, TV and Computer for recreational use. Today it is not posible to have good smooth life without a computer so taking it way is not an answer, same about the phone if it is a safety issue.

Answer 6

Teen!!! Then it could all be normal... at this age the children do not listen or like to be lectured. She would like to have her own say in everything and compare with others her age... However, you could try and talk to her when she cannot walk away from you, or set a time earlier to sit and talk to her...
Take her for counseling and encourage her to take up classes in things that interest her, dance, skating, some games etc.
If none of the above works then you'll have to be EVIL...
Take away all her privileges and ground her whenever she does any of the things she mentioned. Make her room her prison and tell her that she will not be allowed to visit friends or no friends will be allowed to visit her. Warn her that if she runs away from home, you'll not search for her or find out anything about her and tell her the possible consequences of running away from home, too.
Give her food in her room and don't allow her to talk to even the family members if she doesn't behave...
Hope this is not the way you'd have to go...
All the best though...
And give her lots of praise when she does things well...

Answer 7

either put your foot down, ground her, take her phone away, dont allow her to be on the computer all day. Watch what she does. She can't run away or the cops will get involved and make her come home since she is only 15. Or send her off in girls school. A lot of teens go through a stage of testing their boundaries but it seems like she is going extreme or you dont punish her enough for what she does. Definitely put your foot down or she is going to think she can do this all the time and basically she is running what she gets to do and she is still a child.

Answer 8

Well given the fact she made the phone bill 2000 dollars, i'd take her phone away. That would go for any child that I had in the house, 15, or 25. If you aren't paying for it, you don't have a right to make the bill that high.

But don't ground her! Do you realise this is such a horrible mistake? I never took any of my groundings seriously, and all I did was talk back and curse at my mother, and it went on for MONTHS!

Theres a problem here, ask your daughter what is the matter with her. Don't assume she is just doing this to do this. I used the internet when I was fifteen, because I was depressed and lonely. I found people to talk to. But, I found MEN to talk to. While some of them were kind people, some of them were not. I was used for sex with someone I considered a close friend (knew him for sixth months). I acted the same way your daughter is acting. I didn't realise what was happening to me untill I met a guy online who told me to STOP. It took weeks, but he finally got through to me and made me realise how stupid I was being.
Shes doing something, help her before it becomes to late. My mother "punished" me. And I fell deeper and deeper into a lie that any of the people I talked to cared.

Fifteen is a hard age, you have everyone telling you how grown you have to act, but you get treated like a child. Believe me, theres nothing worse and more hurtful than hearing, "NO YOU ARE JUST TOO IMMATURE!"

Fifteen year olds aren't "immature". It's the way they are raised. If you don't let your daughter date, go to parties, or include her in anything adult, it's going to make her unaware. And then because of being unaware shes considered immature? No, it's not right.

xxxx

"were going through a lot of stress, and all tho u may be denying it but its true. things arnt like your time, this is the 21th century, things have changed and so have teens. "

Ah yes, the old "you're a teenager! your life is sooo easy!"
How do you people forget that it just isn't easy? It's MUCH harder. We have the burned of punishments, for such simple things, like not comming home at a correct hour, not getting a good grade, etc. It's like a baby prison. We have tests, large amounts of studying to do, and some of us are expected to hold down a job, do chores, etc.

I find ADULT life, to be much easier. You are doing one job, something you enjoy, and what? And added burned of paying bills? Oh noes! I have to mail a bill! Oh the agony! Yeah, try having to study for five hours for something that isn't going to matter in your adult life. Try having to pee so ******* badly, and the teacher telling you "no." Try arriving to class ten minutes late and having to stay an hour after school on saturday.

You people just don't get it do you? Teenagers have it the hardest.

Answer 9

Seems like she has no respect for all the things she get at home. So it's time for the good old "You don't appreciate it until its gone". Cancel her cell phone line, take away the computer, stop handing her money, and let her see how well she does on her own and how far her attitude take her.

Answer 10

First off Id take everything she has away from her, her cell the computer any thing...second I would have her butt in to see a counselor to see whats up with her. There are alot of reasons why she may be this way. Is she hormonal...maybe they are unbalanced. Have her see her Dr. for a work up. Could she be worried about somthing, preg. STD's ? Does she do drugs? Alot of things could be wrong but the first thing Id do is restrict her ability to do any of the things she takes for granted like the cell phone and computer. Sounds like you both need alot of help and fast or your going to loose her.

Answer 11

im 15 yrs old and what ur daughter has is stress. stress from school, exams(their due nxt month), boy issiues, financial issiues, and ur adding in that extra load by grounding her etc.. and how else can she take off theat load? she could only do it by throwing it back at u, and its like that every day, its like that for every teen out there.

and im said to say it, but thats how i am with my folks , in fact i do all the stuff ur daughter's doing (except for the cellphone part, and the giving away fake name thing) my advice for all the parents out there with teens with attitude is this:

were going through a lot of stress, and all tho u may be denying it but its true. things arnt like your time, this is the 21th century, things have changed and so have teens.