I caught my 15 year old granddaughter masturbating in her room 3 times this mo?

Question

I've told her that it is not acceptable, and she needs to stop doing it. She doesn't listen.

I believe she may be sexually active. I've tried talking to her but she refuses to answer any of my questions.

Answer 1

Mind your own business. Quit catching her doing that. Really, let her live her life.

Answer 2

9 isn't too early for the sex talk. It's about the right age. He's going to start noticing changes in his body within the next couple of years so it will be nice if he knows what to expect. What is important is that BOTH you and his father sit down and talk to him about these issues. I'm not a believer that only the parent of the same sex should discuss sex with the child. A person should be comfortable discussing sex with any gender parent. I don't believe in promoting this childish fear that you can't talk to the other parent about sex. Both points of view are valuable. You should discuss masturbation with your son. Tell him that it is a normal way to deal with sexual feelings and desires. It just should be done privately. I think the most important thing is letting him know it's normal, natural, and healthy. Too many males feel ashamed of the fact that they desire or like masturbating. This is something that needs to end. You can also go out and find a good book made for kids around your son's age that discusses puberty and bodily changes. Let him read it after you have your talk. You can also print off information from online and give it to him. -Connor

Answer 3

Do you spy on her? The reason I ask is how can you catch somebody masturbating 3 times ever but youve caught her 3 times in 1 month, no wonder why she wont answer your questions.
Anyway. Shes 15 years old I know when I was 15 years old I was curious about sexual things and so were most of the people I knew that were around that age, its a natural thing. What you NEED to do now is tell her to be careful and to not do anything stupid like get pregnant and leave it at that because what you dont want to do is push her away and ruin your relationship with her. One of the things I love about my Grandma is that I can talk to her about almost anything and your granddaughter ISNT going to feel that way if she thinks your always judging her. She needs to feel comfortable around you in order to talk to you about somthing like this and its your job to make her feel that way. Good Luck with her.

Answer 4

First thing you need to know, is that masturbation is perfectly normal. The more you shun her for it, the more likely she is to do it, subconciously in protest, and the more likely she is to be less open about her sexual activity.

Who is she hurting while doing it? Nobody.

Second, just because a teenager masturbates, does not mean that that person is sexually active, most boys begin masturbation at a very young age, as young as eight years old, and make it a habbit, and often don't lose their virginity till their late teens or even twenties.

If your grand daughter was sexually active, there would be more signs... first off, she would probablly masturbate less, because she would be getting her fill elsewhere, secondly, she wouldn't be stupid enough to get caught marturbating, if she was already having sex and avoiding being caught.

If I were you I wouldn't worry about it... She doesn't answer your questions because she's uncomfortable about it, most likely because you have made it clear to her that it is unacceptable to do any such thing... this is a mistake many parents and guardians make, often pushing teens to become sexually active far too early.

The best thing you can do is tell her that you accept her for who she is and what she wants to do with herself, and assure her that if she decides to become sexually active, that you would like to be there for her and help her take all the nessicary precations.
Statistics show that teens who have parents supportive of their sexual activity are far less likely to actually have sex at an early age, and it's more preventative then trying to scare them away from it, or telling them that they may never commit the act.

And to be honest with you, if it's going to happen, you don't have a snowball's chance in hell, of stopping it... so you would be wise to prepare her, rather then scold her. Teenagers are extremely inventive and crafty, and will find a way against all odds, no matter how hard you try.

Sometimes being a friend is more effective then being a parent.

Take it from someone who's seen it all first hand... I've watched many, many, many kids, 13-17 start having sex earlier then their parents would have hoped for all because they weren't given the comfort from their parents that they needed, to come to them, and confide in them about wanting to become sexually active.

Answer 5

Masturbating is a self pleasure and it is more safer. If ur grand daughter didnt masturbate, then she will have more sex desire and will end up fuckng with some street guys. So, it is better that she cool her down herself. I guess more than 98% of the people in the world would have masturbated in their teens. Nothing to worry on this and u just dont involve in this. U can advice her not to have affair with guys.

Answer 6

Why do you feel it is wrong?

Personally why is it what she does in the privacy of her own bedroom your concern. It is not a sign of being sexually active as I have seen babies hump the mattress in a crib and 3 year olds hump when falling asleep and neither were sexually active or abused. They do what feels good as does your granddaughter.

I know some believe it will harm someone but your granddaughter is doing something very normal and healthy...she is making herself feel good and knows what mades her feel good.

Later in life when she is an adult she will know what makes herself feel good when with her partner....unlike someone not allowed to touch herself and told it was wrong. For years it took me forever to believe sex was not wrong or that pleasuring myself was not a sin or it meant I was a deviant.

I wonder what you are saying to her so she will not talk to you....I can imagine it is not encouraging words. Are you raising her? If not allow her parents to handle this...if not can you have someone else talk to her. She is not going to open up to you and I wonder if she will ever with the reactions you are giving her. Can younger family member talk to her. One who will talk and not be judgemental.

If you can change your attitude some and learn this is normal perhaps you can build a relationship back up with her....but right now you have burned that bridge....what you need to do not is work on your relationship...or you will lose her forever.

Answer 7

Masterbating is perfectly natural. Stop spying on your granddaughter and maybe she'll be a little more open to talking to you.

As far as being sexually active you better hope she is using protection. And if you tell her that is not acceptable either you can guarantee she'll be doing everyone she can get her hands on.

Answer 8

Geez. Why arent u offering her privacy? Y isnt it acceptable? Better than doing it with someone else isnt it? The more u disapprove of her for it, the more she will do it to rebel u.

she's a teen for goodness sake. give her room, and mind ur own buisness!! Where are her parents?

Answer 9

Seem like you want her to get with boys, otherwise why would you stop her from masturbating?

Masturbation is very healthy in her age, if you'll stop her from doing that (and I'm pretty sure you can't) you will be pushing her into the arms of a willing boy. Stop doing that!!!

Answer 10

Did you talk to her about the pros and cons of an early sexual relationship? Teenagers are so curious they want to experiment everything. Maybe by discussing to her gently regarding the effects of there action, you will be able to convey a message that it is not advisable to be sexually active at an early age.

Answer 11

Oh, come on, it is natural.

It is only a part of hormones and puberty and such. She is exploring herself in ways.

You don't need to tell her to stop. Because she is masturbating doesn't mean she's sexually active.