Well, first of all, let me point that I'm not gay; but even though I think I've fallen in love with my best male friend. He's been a support for me in a lot of situations and everything was OK 'til I knew he actually was dating his cousin. He's really into him (I've talked to him about the subject, and he doesn't consider himself as gay not even bisexual) and they're both in love. But when I get a chance to think about it, I get jealous and profoundly wish I was his cousin...why did this happen to me?...We really treat each other as if we were brothers, but I'm afraid that if I tell him anything about this matter, I'd destroy our friendship.
2007-05-12 18:34:16 · 7 answers · asked by Alejandro H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You should deny the feeling of being in "love" with another man. It is okay to love another man as a brother and friend, but not as a lover! But you already know that. Read the book of Romans in the Holy Bible if you have any question about it being wrong.
2007-05-12 18:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you want to be with him the way the cousin is or was. I just think seeing as you say you are all like brothers, you feel that the other brother is giving the other something that you are not or can not. I think it would be the same if the cousin was a girl, you just want to be a good or best friend and you think that if this cousin can make him a little happier you are willing to do or think anything to hold on to your brother/friend. I think if you didn't have the feelings for the guy in the beginning then the only reason you having them now is because of the jealousy of the extra time the other two are spending that you are not apart of. I feel if you know that he is your friend/brother no matter what maybe the extra feelings will go away, just realize you don't have to be his everything to be a great friend/brother or whatever.
2007-05-13 17:38:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how old you are, but teenagers sometimes have a hard time placing their emotions. Even adults can too. You may just feel a strong connection to this guy b/c he has supported you and been there for you. You may feel betrayed by his strong feelings for his cousin. I'm a little confused on how he is in love with a man but doesn't consider himself to be gay. And having relationships with family members isn't a very smart thing to do, as it can cause a lot of hard feelings and negative out look by other family members, as well as society. But as for you, I wouldn't say anything to him unless you were absolutely sure about your feelings towards him, b/ it can affect your friendship. Has he been spending less time with you since he has developed these feelings for his cousin? If so, you may just be feeling neglected as a friend. You should talk to him and tell him that you appreciate everything he's done for you, and that you care about him. But just be careful to be sure on what your true feelings are towards him before you tell him anything.
2007-05-12 18:55:18 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ BuffaloGirl ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are curious about homosexuality...and it sounds as if your BF is too. I think you should talk to him about it. Maybe you can save him from the humiliation of a gay incestuous relationship. He may just be doing that because it is the most accessible outlet to express his sexuality. Maybe if he knew you had feelings, you guys could experiment and see if there is any chemistry there. Don't be afraid of being you. It sounds as if you are both trying to open up to each other. If he is doing his cousin...the dude is gay or at least bi. If you wanna be his cousin...you are in the same boat. Coming out of the closet to yourself is the hardest person you'll ever come out to...the 1st time.
2007-05-12 18:44:46 · answer #4 · answered by whitespiral 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love takes many forms, I think it is his attention that you seek. But as many forms of love there is that many forms of jealousy. That is the sickest part of what I hear. You do not truly love anyone if you think you own or possess them. I think you should be honest with him, if he truly supports you it would not hurt your friendship but help it. Because you have approached him about his relationship with his cousin in a disapproving manner you have closed a part of an open and honest relationship. I wish you the best and keep me posted.
2007-05-15 16:23:48 · answer #5 · answered by jdinaa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go slow a friendship can be very brittle and i have found friendships are most of the time more important than love or sex
start with little ineundoes such as bisexual jokes and touch his knee give him a hug when you leave eachother for the day just go slow if he would consider you as a lover he will come around
2007-05-14 02:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this isn't gay what would you call it?
2007-05-12 18:37:30 · answer #7 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋