My mother is 100% pro breastfeeding and my Mother in Law is 100% against it?

Question

I'm in a breastfeeding delimma and I haven't even had my baby yet. What I need to know i- What do I do??

My mother has breastfeed every child she has until atleast 2. My youngest sister and baby brother were breastfeed to 4. I was till I was 3. DON'T BE HOMOPHOBIC. I TURNED OUT JUST FINE AND AM SUPER HEALTHY AND NO I CANNOT REMEMBER BREASTFEEDING. If you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything. THANKS.

I'm not going to be that extreme with breasfeeding my child but I do want to breasfeed, I'm pretty sure.

My mother in Law says breastfeeding is not the right thing to do. She says that it's important to bottle feed or pump or use formula because if something happens someone else can feed my baby. I DO NOT WANT ANYONE ELSE FEEDING MY BABY. I want to feed my baby period. I'm not having a babysitter unless for extreme cases of emergency and I am not putting my kid in daycare. That's just how I feel and his family is pro daycare and working mothers.

I am a cosmotologist but will stop working once I have my baby and will begin again after my child is in School. What should I do? My husband thinks I'm just like my mom. I don't want to be anything like his mom. HELP!!??!! Is this a bad situation or what?

My husband is an only child. She did not breastfeed him and he spent much of his life growing up with his grandmother. I WOULD never allow that to happen with my child. I will be the best mother. I think she doesn't HATE breastfeeding but she just always trys to say stuff like ' breastfeeding is painfull and the babies stay hungry etc. It's not JUST that if I'm away they baby would need a bottle.. it's other stuff too.

mother_amethyst- Don't give me that lecture bull crap. I have a fantastic marriage. My husband and I have a fantastic realtionship and will NEVER get a divorce. I speak not only for myself but for my husband. Our realtionship has BEAT THE ODDS ALREADY and all we ever do and continue to do is work through our struggles and fall deeper in love together. We have a bond that will never be broken. This was not a question about my realtionship. It was only a question of breastfeeding. DO not try and pshycoanalise my family.

ps- there isnt anything wrong with being like my mother so there. ;)

Answer 1

You don't really care what MIL thinks, DO YOU!?
My MIL has been chomping at the bit for me to wean ever since my DD was born 3+ years ago. I keep telling her that she'll wean when she's ready!

FWIW, to say it's important to bottle feed or pump in case "something happens" is about the stupidest argument I've heard on the subject YET! That's like her telling you that you have to carry a mechanic around in your car just in case it breaks down! Ya know??

*IF* something were to ever happen, your baby would take a bottle eventually. When my baby was 2 weeks old I had an emergency D&C and you can be sure he took a bottle of formula while I was in surgery. He was hungry - so he took it. That was his only bottle ever and he's 12 months old now.

Answer 2

Everyone will have an opinion, especially that generation, because they were told that formula was "just as good" as breastmilk, and discouraged breastfeeding with the lies your MIL is now telling you. What you do is, do some research on the subject. Make up your own mind. You will come to find that breastfeeding IS really best, and that it is actually easier than formula feeding. It is also 1000% times (or more) better for your baby. There is NO reason you cannot breastfeed full time! If you are worried about the "what if's", then after your baby is a month or so old, pump here and there, so you have a stash in the freezer. No one else needs to feed your baby. That is the mommy's job. And you are right to feel like that! I have gone through the same thing with my daughter. My mom is totally pro-breastfeeding, but my grandma on my dad's side is SO not. She doesn't agree iwht anything I do, and I just tell her, "you had the chance to raise your kids how you wanted, now its my turn". Just to let you know, your mom sounds very educated and WAY ahead of her time!! That is so great that you all were breastfed that long! Once you start looking at some research, you will see why! You have a great support person in your life, and take COMPLETE advantage of it! Ignore the rest :) Also, if you'd like some support from your peers, join the Yahoo!group MilkDrunk. You will love it there, ad we would LOVE to have you join us!

Answer 3

My suggestion is to do what you want to do. This is your pregnancy, your baby, your decision, and your responsibility.
If you feel comfortable enough to breastfeed, please do. I believe that is the best way to feed a baby. Everyone that I know in my family has breastfed, and all the kids around here has turned out just fine and healthy. My mother breastfed her children, and we turned out fine. It is normal to breastfeed your child. That's what God made our breasts for! Really!!!
If something did happen to you, as your mother-in-law was saying, the baby can be fed by bottle. She really needs to see your side of this story. If you have to, just have a good sit down talk with her, or even take her with you to a doctor's appt. and let her discuss it with your doctor. She should not tell you that breastfeeding is not the right thing to do.
Just remember, its your decision. I'm sure that everyone will support you in your decision. Good Luck with the baby, and the breastfeeding dilemma.

Answer 4

There is nothing better for you baby than breast milk. There are many benefits for both your baby and you. Your mother in law had her children and did what she thought best as did your mother. But this is "your" child and you should do what you feel most comfortable with regardless of any ones elses opinion. If you are breastfeeding and need to leave your baby for some reason then its perfectly easy to leave pumped breast milk. Like you said your not leaving your child often so its hardly a good enough reason for you not breastfeeding your child for the sake of a small portion of time you would need another to feed your baby.

I say go with our gut instinct. Its your child, its your body, its your life. Good luck and enjoy your precious baby.

Answer 5

It is your decision. You said:

"I do want to breas[t]feed, I'm pretty sure."

Reassure your husband that you are planning to ween your baby earlier than your Mom did. Then plan with him together for what best fits your lifestyle. Since you will be a stay-at-home Mom, there should not be too much to haggle over.

My personal experience:

I breast fed my first son until he was 10 months old. He never took a bottle and would be fed my breast milk by spoon on the rare occasion that I was away. He weened himself and also started walking at 10 months. He doesn't drink milk to this day.

My middle son breastfed until he was almost two. He also drank from a bottle. I supplemented my breast milk with a milk based formula.

I was unable to breastfeed my youngest son. He was on soy based formula. He still takes soy milk to this day.

To you: Breastfed is best fed. It is all about what works for you and each baby (if you plan to have more than one) first, then the rest of the immediate family in the household. No one else should be considered.

Answer 6

breastfeed, and educate your Mother in law, take her to a breast feeding class if you take one. Tell her your Dr. says it's the best thing for the baby, provide her information, and that's all you can do. Get your husband on board and have him talk to his mom.
My mother in law had a problem with it too, but after a year of breastfeeding my daughter she got over it, well kinda.. She just kept asking, when are you going to stop?
I did pump so I had a back stock just in case my husband and I went out for a quick bite.
Are you sure your ML isn't my ML. She was pissed I quit my job too.

Answer 7

What's wrong here is the "Us" against "Them" scenario that has been set up. You don't have to represent either side, give in to either side or take sides at all. Make your decision as if you and your baby were the only two people in the world. NO ONE else's opinion matters.

You will also want to get some family counseling to learn how to resolve these family tug-of-wars, or you and your husband will be getting divorced down the road. I base this on his comment that you are "just like your mother". This isn't a war, it's supposed to be a family. If he's taking sides, get help fast.

Answer 8

You need to do both. Not at first though, first you will breastfeed. But at sometime you will want to use the pump to get milk and store it. Your husband will want to feed the baby sometimes too. You will be tired or might need to be away from the baby so in that case somebody needs to feed the baby. If you have some stored milk then then baby will have the benefit of your milk.

Answer 9

First of all, this is YOUR baby. You do what you feel is best for your child. If you want to breastfeed then you go right ahead and do it. Breast milk is best for babies anyway. I breastfed my daughter and i just had my son two weeks ago and i am breastfeeding him also. Trust me he doesnt stays hungry. He gets plenty of milk. Just do what you feel is best and dont worry about what your in laws say. Good Luck

Answer 10

I am currently breastfeeding and I feel the same way. Its our right to do what we want to for our children... breastmilk is the other thing that natural decided for your baby to eat, formula isnt the perfect thing for your baby... it sounds like your MIL is jealous that she wont be able to feed your child! I WILL NOT STOP BFing for anyone... my husband and I are in the middle of a divorce and his lawyer thinks I should pump or formula feed my son so that my husband can take him from me!!! Its not happening...

But less of me more of you... if you dont BF and you wont to you are going to be so mad at yourself.