My homosexuality.?

Question

Right, so here's the story. I'm 14, male, and gay. I'm totally sure, there's not much to say other than guys turn me on and the opposite sex doesn't.

So I was considering coming out over the summer (I've already done so to a few friends). What I'd appreciate is tips from people who've come out.

Also, how did you meet your first bf/gf? How can I find others who are gay? I don't want to just ask anyone, because I know people will be offended, and I'm a sap and care about what people think.

Thanks to anyone who answers.

@XD?- Thanks, but I'm sure my parents would be totally accepting of me even if it would take them a while to get over it. If not, I'd do anything I could to reconcile myself with them anyway, because I doubt I could have a clear conscience with my parents not talking to me.

And, although there are a lot of junior/seniors that are gay and out in our school, I doubt the school cares enough to do anything for the minority of students who are gay and out.

@luckygohappy- Yes, anyone who can't accept me for who I am needs to get over themselves.

@Charlie Murder- I know it's going to be hard to talk to my parents about this, but seeing as how my parents are really nosy, I doubt I'd be able to keep a secret boyfriend, and I don't know if I can last too much longer without expressing myself. And, I added you.

As for my parents, I'm sure that my mother will accept me, because we talk a lot and I doubt anyone who regularly watches Queer Eye could be homophobic... I could convince my father.

I'd like to say that I have no will at the time to engage in sexual contact, and I really just want to express myself being that I hate lying to those who are close to me.

And, of course there's no reason I can't be with someone to just, you know, talk and stuff.

Answer 1

If you're coming out, remember that they'll go through steps, anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Not necessarily in that order. But it's because it's a big deal to come to terms with.

Also know your circumstances. Before coming out ask how people feel about gay people, if they ask why, tell them you have a gay friend. If the reaction is negative, you may wish to wait before coming out, until you're ready to move out.

Anyways, as for finding a partner, you can use the internet, but keep your searches to within your age group. Myspace should allow you to search very specifically.

Answer 2

Guessing you live with your parents--unless you're SURE they would be 100% okay with it, do NOT, under any circumstances, publicly come out yet.

Come out after you've moved out.

Otherwise you will likely unknowingly toss yourself into a VERY unfavorable situation.

Also, check your school for some sort of GSA (gay/straight alliance) or something. Failling that, a guidance counselor ought to be able to point you to some local resources for meeting other gay people etc.

Answer 3

Here's a piece of information you need. At age 14, it is PROBABLY against the law for you to have sex with anyone. It is almost definitely against the law for someone who is older than 16 to have sex with you.

These are not idle laws. They can send adults (and in some cases that means someone over 16) to jail for many years and can force them to register as a sex offender for the rest of their lives, which will prevent them from following any career where they would ever be in charge of children.

So I applaud the fact that you have identified yourself so comfortably as a gay at such a young age. For the safety and well being of yourself and the persons you care about, you should refrain from engaging in sex until you reach the age of consent in your state. You can find that information at the following web site:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America

Answer 4

Haha, you're a sweet kid. Im 15 going on 16, and I share your story almost identically. Its easier to say things of this nature to freinds, we invest more trust in freinds at this age than family. It is simply the nature of these things. Parents however are difficult to talk about these things to about at this age, so dont worry much about that.

And about meeting people, I would imagine its a matter of networking.

Answer 5

You are a smart guy at 14yo.
You can find a local PFLAG (www.pflag.org), call them and ask about coming out, I'm sure they will help you. Also usually they also have Rainbow Youth Alliance that you can join and get to know other gay guys around your age.

Answer 6

well, u don't need tips ur doing great, first you start off small , close people know, and from there you branch off. and soon u'll be completely out. and how i met my first b/f well, we went to high school together and i thought he was really cute and then we started going over each others houses and then we started talking and then ended up being together, he was my bf for about 2 years!!! and by meeting people, hmm i think u'll automatically know who is really really gay. but those who seem straight but are gya AND ARE SOO HOT. u have to work to build up that gaydar.!

Answer 7

My first gf was my friend Jessica's best friend. Jessica pretty much hooked us up :)

Tips for coming out? Don't come out to someone while they're driving. If you want to come out to your parents, test the waters first by talking about gay people in general (if they're really homophobic, they may kick you out when you come out to them).

Above all, it's most important to be yourself. You may lose some friends when you come out, but it's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you're not. Good luck!