she up and left 8 days ago and now is calling and harrasing us non-stop what are my rights as a father to protect my teenage children? if she just up and leaves the family home and all the responsibilities, can she just come back and forth as she is threatening, i am stressed to the point i am ill over this, if anyone can steer me to my next move to protect my children and our home , i would apprecite it.. Thanks!!
2007-05-12 15:57:12 · 18 answers · asked by Help! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is going to be hard to explain, but I'm going to try. She thinks after 17 years she can leave AND still have you. After this period of time, it is truly hard to separate and that is what she is experiencing. My counsel to you--break all ties as much as possible. Do not keep the children from her per se, but don't have an open door 24/7. Draw very definitive boundaries around when she can access you and them and how. Make her understand that when she left your home, she left several rights behind as well.
Shut it down. Change phone numbers, change locks, and make it a point to not be at home when you think she might "drop by". In other words, make her play by YOUR rules, not hers.
The reason why I say this: when she realizes what is at stake, maybe she will come to her senses. I am not saying that maybe she will come back. (She might, she m ight not.) But I am saying, make her understand that she cannot have it anyway she wants it and there are more people involved.
2007-05-12 16:03:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are dealing with someone with emotional or mental issues. No healthy woman ups and leaves her family without something else going on. I am surprised you did not see this coming. Unfortunately, depression and anxieties have been the blame of many malfunctioning homes with mothers and fathers and children are often the ones affected. Your first order of business is to contact a family attorney. You need to express exactly what the 'harrassment' issues are. In this case, should your children and you need protection from physical threats, a restraining order might be necessary. Keep in mind however, it's a legal document advising the one harrassing that their contact is limited but I have known people to ignore the paper. A lot depends upon how deeply emotional the spouse is. Once you seek the counseling, your attorney will adivse you as to what your next moves would be. You may have to decide if you want a divorce, and start these proceedings. You will definitely need to involve the Courts because your children will need financial support from their mother despite the fact she left. You will need to do whatever you can to stay healthy. Your children will need you more than ever. Please don't make them hate their mother. You will need to be very careful how you explain her absence. It is very easy to leave scars on our children by telling them too much. Let them know their mother loves them, but needs some additional help that you can't provide. Your attorney will help you with regards to your home, taxes, etc. I pray that you and your children will overcome this obstacle and that you will be in good health in order to go through ordeal. It might be lengthy and involved, but you must try to keep LOVE in your heart about the situation. It is easy to hate, but it takes much more to extend love at a time like this. My prayers go out to you and your children - and your wife. It is very obvious that she is hurting severely and needs help and prayers.
2007-05-12 23:16:39 · answer #2 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact a lawyer as soon as possible and get the divorce proceedings on thier way. If she continues to call and harrass you, call the police and explain the situation to them. Change the locks on the doors so she can no longer enter your families home...And stop letting her make you ill, take control, you feel ill because your letting her take control. You never know her next move because your not ready for it.Get ready, lock her out, get a lawyer and call the police..You have an obligation to those kids to keep her from disrupting all your lives...So stop letting her right now, the law does work, if you give it a chance..
2007-05-12 23:28:53 · answer #3 · answered by Innisfil g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call child protective services in your area and ask for a case manager to assess the situation. In some states they can assist in parent aide and other in-home family support services. They will also be able to help your young adults transition from adolescence into adulthood. They can offer suggestions on how to handle the harassing phone calls as well as any other threats you might receive.
2007-05-12 23:36:02 · answer #4 · answered by phil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your next move is to call a lawyer ASAP. Don't waste time. The best way to protect yourself and your kids is to have the law on your side.
The sites listed below might be out of your area but should provide some good background info for you.
2007-05-12 23:04:33 · answer #5 · answered by jered_gold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for a restraining order to protect you and your children. (However, you must realize the reason for this order should not be one of revenge but to prevent harrassment which has become stressful for you and your children.) Children love their mothers and need them no matter what the situation has come to. Guidelines need to be set by the courts for her to follow if she wants to still be apart of the children's life. Now is the time to rise above the "squabble" and be the person your children have come to look up to. Best of luck!
2007-05-12 23:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by squirrelbait 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to contact a lawyer. I don't know what you mean by harassing, but if she's threatening physical violence, to the point that you are fearful of your or your children's safety, then you can get a restraining order against her, but you need a lawyer for that. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, God bless you and your children.
2007-05-12 23:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend of the past did this and her husband finally got a restraining order on her. She is on a leash now but still out of control. This is too bad to hear again. My heart goes out to you and your kids, especially her. She is really hurting to the point of no return. Hopefully you was not the cause of this. Some dudes are but then again like my friend from the past, her dude wasnt. Her luggage was just brought into her life with him. DRUGS and mental conditions that were untreated.
2007-05-12 23:02:38 · answer #8 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer now and get her for abandonment! If she has mental issues I believe you can get what is called an emergency divorce, my brother did. Just check with the lawyer. If this is the case and you can do that in your state then you will also be able to get full custody of your children.
2007-05-12 23:25:50 · answer #9 · answered by angiee631 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what about some compassion for your wife & mother of your children? She's obviously going through something. I don't know her age - but women freak during menopausal years.
Why not help & connect instead of fight?
Peace Love & Understanding is what is required of you. Thats your duty, be a supportive husband & watch how things change for the better.
Peace.
2007-05-12 23:05:58 · answer #10 · answered by Chloe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋